08-16-2018, 03:14 PM
I know I'm not the only one here, by far. I'm realizing how much and how often I try to deny my feelings. An example is "this company can use me, but f*** them, I'll go employ myself". But......it's embarrassing to admit this to myself--I've been afraid to go out there and do my own thing.
Why? Fears of success, of failing and feeling ashamed, etc., etc. What I've done (seems like hundreds of times) is begin some online business, but peter out since my imagination is set to see failure more than success. But I derailed here some.
I feel sad at this moment since E2 is obviously working on something.....and I feel AFRAID. Fearing I'll lose control and (drama drama drama)......I'll cry. I'll let it go. I'll release fears I've held to.........shit.......
Something in me IS moving, since I am home running E2 on US, and I just let some tears out.
I'm fearing I'll be taken advantage of if I let my guard down.
Yes. That's it.
Looking for "other work" is nothing but fear talking to distract me from feeling my feelings.
Why? Fears of success, of failing and feeling ashamed, etc., etc. What I've done (seems like hundreds of times) is begin some online business, but peter out since my imagination is set to see failure more than success. But I derailed here some.
I feel sad at this moment since E2 is obviously working on something.....and I feel AFRAID. Fearing I'll lose control and (drama drama drama)......I'll cry. I'll let it go. I'll release fears I've held to.........shit.......
Something in me IS moving, since I am home running E2 on US, and I just let some tears out.
I'm fearing I'll be taken advantage of if I let my guard down.
Yes. That's it.
Looking for "other work" is nothing but fear talking to distract me from feeling my feelings.
I want to be FREE!
