07-04-2021, 03:17 PM
I'm taking Nomad's advice, and I'm going to pull off LTU6 and commit to OF3.
I began it weeks back, and it wasn't rough really. I just found my mind seeking "easier" options. LTU5 was easy and comforting for me, so LTU6 wasn't a challenge to begin.
But challenging my fear seems to be, for me. I even look shamefully on my paper notebook, for I wrote honestly when I began OF3: "fear has been a safe norm for me." I wrote I even needed it around to have my balance and my "reasons for living".
I read through Whome's OF3 journal today, and what I connected with I'd felt while on OF3: I felt like I was saying goodbye to a part of me I'd increasingly depended on in my last 10 years, mostly since having fear with me was an (embarrassing) tool I used to get attention.
Who would I be without some portrayal of fear?
I stopped after writing that. It looks like I'm seeking to defend fear, but I'm not on good footing here. I'll start OF3 loops tomorrow morning.
I began it weeks back, and it wasn't rough really. I just found my mind seeking "easier" options. LTU5 was easy and comforting for me, so LTU6 wasn't a challenge to begin.
But challenging my fear seems to be, for me. I even look shamefully on my paper notebook, for I wrote honestly when I began OF3: "fear has been a safe norm for me." I wrote I even needed it around to have my balance and my "reasons for living".
I read through Whome's OF3 journal today, and what I connected with I'd felt while on OF3: I felt like I was saying goodbye to a part of me I'd increasingly depended on in my last 10 years, mostly since having fear with me was an (embarrassing) tool I used to get attention.
Who would I be without some portrayal of fear?
I stopped after writing that. It looks like I'm seeking to defend fear, but I'm not on good footing here. I'll start OF3 loops tomorrow morning.
I want to be FREE!
