09-17-2020, 12:56 AM
Stage 2, Session 1, Day 5
The FRM is active. Very active. This morning I'm not taking to my normal fear mentality. It feels very, very desirable.
I've been watching myself since starting LTU. I've noticed that each morning I'd wake up for work, and I'd have this subtle repulsion in my gut for the way I'd recycle fears daily. Doing and thinking the same unbeneficial things over and over--and being aware of it--is a self-esteem killer. I know since starting Stage 1 this unease has sat in me. I wondered at times about not continuing, but something's dissipated. Some fear broke down on me, it's my 2nd day of rest, first cycle. The FRM is very active.
Something I'll mention for Shannon is the fatigue. I've rarely, like very rarely, had consistent, noticeable fatigue on a sub, and the last 2 days I've had exactly that. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but I almost tapped out doing my route Monday. Something likely linked to that was me heating up physically while talking to a coworker in the parking lot that very morning before work. It was still dark out, and it was probably mid-80's temperature-wise. I suddenly felt itchy, and minutes later, my coworker said "Man, you're sweating!" I did feel hot, and this is the first time I'd noticed it. Working in the sun later compounded the heat, and it tired me out. I've heard people come to a point where the fatigue goes away. I did realize that the sub is breaking down a lot of my resistance, and this encourages me.
That's where I am today. I'm feeling good, and I'm grateful to be using this. It's working for me.
The FRM is active. Very active. This morning I'm not taking to my normal fear mentality. It feels very, very desirable.
I've been watching myself since starting LTU. I've noticed that each morning I'd wake up for work, and I'd have this subtle repulsion in my gut for the way I'd recycle fears daily. Doing and thinking the same unbeneficial things over and over--and being aware of it--is a self-esteem killer. I know since starting Stage 1 this unease has sat in me. I wondered at times about not continuing, but something's dissipated. Some fear broke down on me, it's my 2nd day of rest, first cycle. The FRM is very active.
Something I'll mention for Shannon is the fatigue. I've rarely, like very rarely, had consistent, noticeable fatigue on a sub, and the last 2 days I've had exactly that. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but I almost tapped out doing my route Monday. Something likely linked to that was me heating up physically while talking to a coworker in the parking lot that very morning before work. It was still dark out, and it was probably mid-80's temperature-wise. I suddenly felt itchy, and minutes later, my coworker said "Man, you're sweating!" I did feel hot, and this is the first time I'd noticed it. Working in the sun later compounded the heat, and it tired me out. I've heard people come to a point where the fatigue goes away. I did realize that the sub is breaking down a lot of my resistance, and this encourages me.
That's where I am today. I'm feeling good, and I'm grateful to be using this. It's working for me.
I want to be FREE!