Fear's New Clothes - OF 5.75G

[Lucius]

I'd say that's impressive progress!

It's all thanks to your subs  .

Thank you, @4Kingdoms. Arnold's experience is truly an inspiration for us all. I hope a I get a fraction of his resilience.

I finally moved to a different city as mentioned in my last post. No jobs lined up yet. My challenge now is to focus on chasing one rabbit instead of three. Like in the video above, a plan B could make me lose focus. However, deciding a plan A is easier said than done. I'm prone to skipping from one project to another. I've placed myself in a position to work on that. 

I have stuck to listening to the sub as instructed on the sales page. I experienced some internal changes, some of which I did not record when I noticed them. I guess it's these changes are slowly becoming a normal part of me. 

I notice I now voice my opinions more easily with ladies. Usually, I would say things which I thought they wanted to hear, and not how I felt. For example, this lady friend was excited about a new pair of clothes she wanted to buy. She showed me to get my opinion, and I calmly went "I don't like it". She as surprised and tried to make me change y mind. I still did not like it and told her that. It was not malicious in any way. I felt the same way I would have felt if we were talking about the weather. 

Normally, I would walk on eggshells around the opposite sex trying not to offend them. I am noticing I'm more able to just be myself and just calmly share my thoughts. 

The same goes for my family as well. I calmly let them know I disagree with them when I do. Normally, I'll keep my opinions to myself out of "respect". 

This sub has made me notice I have a fear of working out. I thought I was just not interested in exercising. I am skinny, and I used this as an excuse to not go to the gym. I told myself there is no weight for me to lose. However my energy level is low most of the time, and I know gaining some muscle mass might improve this. 

Recently, each time I think of working out, I feel a strong fear coming over me. Just thinking of lifting weights gets my heart racing. I don't know the cause of this. Being skinny, I've stayed away from trouble most of my life. I know subconsciously I can't physically defend myself, so being "nice" was my defence. My guess is my subconscious thinks gaining muscles will put me in a position where I have to prove my physical strength in a fight - something I have learned all my life to avoid. 

I want to put on some muscle mass. I'm looking forward to OF clearing this fear. 

I don't see anger as something very bad like I used to. Well, it is bad if I let it control me. However, I can channel it to become productive. It's better for me to stay angry all day than to be depressed all day. For example, I lost some money through some silly mistakes. Nothing much tbh. However, that made me work extra harder on the project which has the potential of bringing in an income. 

There is still so much for me to achieve on this sub. Right now, I think I will stick with it for the full eight months.