Fear of abandoment

[Magnus]

Hi

So I noticed there is no subliminal on fear of abandonment.

I believe this is a big one (while for me at least). I also think this is what causes some guys to be needy around women because they feel they will be alone for the rest of their lives. Possibly something to add into the AM subliminal.

I know for me personally if this dissolved most of my neediness would be gone with women and my success in life in general would increase 10 fold because why would you need a women if you are fine being alone. It would just be a fact of wanting a women and not needing.

I have plenty of resources which I can point towards if needed

[Jay]

Forgive my ignorance but isn't a fear of rejection basically the same thing compared to a fear of abandonment, or at least very closely related? You might want to check out Be Unaffected By Rejection, if you hadn't already.

And affected by rejection is already included in AM. You can read about that here.

[Magnus]

No worries. I've done a lot of research on fear of abandonment as a sufferer myself.

Its not actually not a fear of rejection as such although they are related its a fear of being alone either in the present or in the future. As in I can go out and approach a whole lot of girls or go on dating sites. I'm not afraid of being rejected as such it doesn't really phase me but the main reason I do it is because I am afraid of being alone for the rest of my life.

There is a difference there. I found rejection relatively easy to break through although never goes away completely but I found going from a place where you aren't afraid of being alone the rest of your life a hard one. I've just noticed it as a theme in some of the posts here especially around breakups etc. It also contributes to people staying with or starting a relationship with emotionally unhealthy people.

In a way I view a fear of abandonment as sometimes the root cause of a fear of rejection.

I hope all of that makes sense and displays the difference between the two

[Shannon]

Good suggestion, Jimbobday. Please be patient until I can build it.

[Magnus]

Thanks Shannon

Looking forward to it

[Hypnoticeyes]

This is a good suggestion, if you think about it many big fears are do due to that. When you were young if your parents criticised you, you felt fear of abandonment. If you fear that if they leave you then you can't cope your own so from there you have created many limited beliefs to protect yourself. If you look more deeper is actually fear of dying. All the fears e.g rejection, anxiety, phobias are due to fear of dying.

[Magnus]

Yep exactly and I think next to everyone has some fear of abandonment which leads to neediness etc. You are correct in it being related to rejection etc Its an underlying fear which is why its hard to get over. Its also a very complex fear to understand and I have only read a few books that really understood it

[Spiral]

Shannon what if you just make a subliminal to overcome the feeling of fear in general? Wouldn't that kill many birds with one stone?

[Magnus]

Shannon what if you just make a subliminal to overcome the feeling of fear in general? Wouldn't that kill many birds with one stone?

But wouldn't we need to be afraid of some things. Like walking in front of cars, lions, losing a child, having a car crash if we drive erratically, Becoming really unhealthy, someone trying to kill us and the list goes on.

I don't know much behind the science of fear but as far as i'm aware certain chemicals are released during flight or fight which enable us to deal with a situation.

For example I was driving a car years back and we spun out at great speeds the fear I felt due to fight or flight enabled me to get the car under control in that situation. If I hadn't had that fear of dying in that situation my reactions would have been slower and most certainly I would have crashed and died.

Another example I was in a car crash years ago as well and had to fight my way out of the car some of the things I had to do I would not have been able to do if it wasn't for the adrenaline that was released due to the fear I felt in the situation. Soon after the car burst into flames again this fear saved my life.

I could give other examples but I hope that gives an idea that fear isn't always a bad thing It was used to keep our ancestors alive. The problem now is that most of the times these days the fear that is triggered from flight or fight is unjustified. i.e. fear of rejection, approach anxiety, abandonment etc

[Jay]

Shannon what if you just make a subliminal to overcome the feeling of fear in general? Wouldn't that kill many birds with one stone?

Yes, that would kill many birds in many silly ways, even without the stones

I've read about experiments where they exposed chimpanzees that had a damaged or removed amygdala (responsible for fight or flight response) to dangerous circumstances, for example snakes. Without fear they picked up the snakes and played around with them, and even after being bit they didn't feel the need to abstain from them. Being totally fearless would be awesome, but it would also mean doing (more) stupid detrimental things to our bodies. Although I think it's interesting to see how far you can go and if it's possible to turn off basic human responses with the help of affirmations or subliminals.

Fear is a typical human response, and when you feel fear or anxiety towards a situation means that there was a time and place (for example childhood or war) where it was necessary for your own well being/survival to be fearful/anxious of that person/situation/circumstance, however it doesn't mean that the same circumstances always or still apply. It's basic pattern matching, and when external circumstances bring us the right variables we respond accordingly to them, whether our beliefs about those circumstances match with reality or no doesn't matter.

Luckily you can unlearn these "habits" and learn new ones, it just takes a lot of time, congruent effort and courage :/

[Spiral]

Yea, Jim's got a point there. Shannon should devote a whole year to creating fear related subs. :O

[Ryan]

I remember having a similar suggestion once but it was more of an "Overcome Your Fears". Of course, you wouldn't be presented with instinctive fears, but ones that are irrational. Like heights, flying, social, abandonment...

But I think this is a good one, mostly having a sub that is geared 100% towards neediness that you can also use along with Alpha Male. Would be interesting to have.

Ryan

[Spiral]

Agreed.