F is for Fear Removal - OF 5.75G

[Bayern2]

Hi all,

Been a long time since I've posted anything on the forum.  I'm not the best at journaling to begin with, but I want to do it a little bit more now that I'm starting OF 5.75G.  The product description got me hooked immediately so I got it right after it came out, but didn't start using it until two nights ago.

After two nights of using the ultrasonic FLAC file through my phone speaker at 13/15 volume, I've already noticed some things that I do want to mention.  Yesterday during the day I was starting to realize what my deepest fears really are and what I really want to be worked on by using this program.  I haven't been in a relationship for a long time, and i think just being loved or loving someone else is deeply rooted to fears that I have, not only of women in general but also just the feeling of opening up to another person.  There are two ways that I subconsciously sabotage myself from opening up to people and actively looking for a relationship.  1) PMO - it's been a huge problem for me for a long time and I now realize that it's something I've done to sabotage myself and not feel the effects of the fear that's holding me back, and 2) poor diet.  Although I do work out very consistently, having a poor diet I feel holds me back significantly and I also think this is due to fears that I've been holding in for a long time.

Last night I used it for the second night and I'm already feeling a lot better.  My thinking has been very clear and I realize what I need to do to overcome the attempts of self-sabotage.  Also feeling very light in the head, not in a bad way but it's more of a euphoric feeling compared to before I started the program.

So far there haven't been any negatives from the last two nights and my energy levels have been normal.  That's all I have for now and I'll continue to update if any noticeable things come up that should be mentioned.

[ncbeareatingman]

Hi all,

Been a long time since I've posted anything on the forum.  I'm not the best at journaling to begin with, but I want to do it a little bit more now that I'm starting OF 5.75G.  The product description got me hooked immediately so I got it right after it came out, but didn't start using it until two nights ago.

After two nights of using the ultrasonic FLAC file through my phone speaker at 13/15 volume, I've already noticed some things that I do want to mention.  Yesterday during the day I was starting to realize what my deepest fears really are and what I really want to be worked on by using this program.  I haven't been in a relationship for a long time, and i think just being loved or loving someone else is deeply rooted to fears that I have, not only of women in general but also just the feeling of opening up to another person.  There are two ways that I subconsciously sabotage myself from opening up to people and actively looking for a relationship.  1) PMO - it's been a huge problem for me for a long time and I now realize that it's something I've done to sabotage myself and not feel the effects of the fear that's holding me back, and 2) poor diet.  Although I do work out very consistently, having a poor diet I feel holds me back significantly and I also think this is due to fears that I've been holding in for a long time.

Last night I used it for the second night and I'm already feeling a lot better.  My thinking has been very clear and I realize what I need to do to overcome the attempts of self-sabotage.  Also feeling very light in the head, not in a bad way but it's more of a euphoric feeling compared to before I started the program.

So far there haven't been any negatives from the last two nights and my energy levels have been normal.  That's all I have for now and I'll continue to update if any noticeable things come up that should be mentioned.

 Yes  it has been a long time Man...welcome Back so to speak, I wanted to agknowledge you and the other members of the forum who have chosen to face these fears,address the accompanying connected issues/concerns/addtional fear.a courageous bunch indeed. More power to you,many OF help re-open your journey to Love,Light and Much opportunity,as well. genuinely. Keith.

[Bayern2]

So last night was night 3 of running the program. Think I jinxed myself with the tiredness as I woke up exhausted this morning, but it's still early so it'll get better throughout the day hopefully.

Wanted to note one dream that I was actually able to remember from last night, which is rare for me to even be able to remember dreams. I was stuck in an airport late at night waiting to get on my last flight and not only did the flight get delayed again but by the time it came to get on the plane, all of a sudden the terminals changed and I was lost and at the wrong terminal and got left behind. Very weird cause I have no issues with flying or traveling alone or going through airports, but who knows.

Definitely feels like its working on something.

[Bayern2]

Cycle 2 - Day 1:

Started my loops last night before I went to bed rather than as I am going to bed. In the middle of the second loop I noticed what felt like a big ball of anxiety floating from the deep center part of my torso and slowly moving towards the surface. While this ball of anxiety was rising my heart rate went up a little bit as well as my blood pressure, but not too bad just a little to be noticeable. It finally went away as I laid down to go to sleep, which was right after the third loop had started.

During the day today I noticed that confidence and anxiety have gone up and down throughout the day. The one time that I had went out during the day my confidence was at its highest during the day, and when I was in the store it almost felt like I was in my own little world and nobody else existed. I didn't worry about what anyone else was doing and just went about my business.

Days off weren't too terrible. The second day I was absolutely exhausted and could barely keep my eyes open during most of the day, so I went to sleep earlier and felt great the next day. Haven't really been remembering any dreams lately, but that's normal for me. Definitely going to keep pushing through as it feels like something is being dug up deep down.

[Bayern2]

Cycle 2: Days 2-3

There are two things that I've really noticed while on this program and have only increased lately. 1) I've been getting amazing sleep on this program. I used to have issues with waking up in the middle of the night multiple times, but on OF I'm getting great sleep and all uninterrupted. 2) Been keeping my apartment a lot cleaner and my desire to clean has gone way up. Before I would leave dishes sitting for a few days before I talked myself into getting it over with even though it would only take 10 minutes. Now, I don't even think about it I just clean things up as I'm done with it.

[Bayern2]

Cycle 2 - Day 4:

So last night I was sitting at home watching the UFC event while I started my loops. During the second loop while watching the fights I damn near had a full blown panic attack that arose out of nowhere, which lasted for about 30 minutes. This isn't normal for me as I never have panic attacks. While thinking about it, the only conclusion I can come up with is that deep down I try to avoid confrontation and maybe that is a result of some unknown fear that I have of speaking up or voicing my opinion and/or confronting people.

Woke up really tired this morning so we'll see how the rest of the day goes.

[K-Train]

In my own personal experience the fear of conflict is either partially or completely based in the fear of rejection or abandonment. For me, the thought pattern followed like this: conflict leads to --> risk of physical harm/embarrassment/general negative reaction from person(s) --> rejection --> abandonment. Obviously you are your own man so your story is going to be a bit different but I would hazard to guess that the fear of rejection and abandonment are central fears in many people's lives.

[Bayern2]

In my own personal experience the fear of conflict is either partially or completely based in the fear of rejection or abandonment.  For me, the thought pattern followed like this: conflict leads to --> risk of physical harm/embarrassment/general negative reaction from person(s) --> rejection --> abandonment. Obviously you are your own man so your story is going to be a bit different but I would hazard to guess that the fear of rejection and abandonment are central fears in many people's lives.

Fear of rejection would make a lot of sense for me.  Also think for me it really is just the fear of disapproval from people and what the aftermath would be of a disagreement.

[Bayern2]

Cycle 2 - Day 5:

Not too much to report today other than I'm extremely exhausted. Have one more night of loops tonight before the three day break, and I'm really looking forward to the days off with how tired I was last night and all day today.

[Bayern2]

Cycle 2 - Day 6:

Decided to turn the volume down 2 clicks so it was at 11/15 clicks on my s9+. Feel really good today with no exhaustion thankfully, since the last two days were pretty rough with how tired I was. I don't know if it was the volume difference or just feeling better in general. Feeling really calm today and it seems like my anxiety has disappeared for the last couple of days of running the program. Tonight is the first night of the 3 day break, so I'm excited to see how I feel while not running the program for a few days.

[Shannon]

Just a note - you always want the volume at the most you can handle without getting into headaches. The exhaustion is some part of you fighting the process, and you risk losing results if you lower the volume for that. The only time I would lower the volume for exhaustion is if it prevents you from doing your job/etc. in a sustainable and safe manner. Obviously, it should not cost you your job, etc.

[Bayern2]

Just a note - you always want the volume at the most you can handle without getting into headaches.  The exhaustion is some part of you fighting the process, and you risk losing results if you lower the volume for that.  The only time I would lower the volume for exhaustion is if it prevents you from doing your job/etc. in a sustainable and safe manner.  Obviously, it should not cost you your job, etc.

Got it, thanks.  I'll bump it back up to where I was at with the volume when I'm back on it then since I've had no headaches whatsoever so far with the program, just the exhaustion.

[Bayern2]

Cycle 3 - Days 1 and 2

Felt a lot better towards the end of my off days, with the exception that the last night of my off days and the first night of the third cycle my sleep was the worst it's been in almost a year. I slept for maybe 6 hours total combined those two nights, which is probably why I was exhausted all day yesterday after the first night of the cycle. Last night was much better, and even remembered a tiny bit of a dream that I had.

I'm a pretty introverted person, but during my dream I was more outgoing than I can remember being in a long time. Usually I wait til I get to know people before I open up, but during my dream I was at a party and was lively and talking to everyone.

During the day today I've noticed that I have this general sense of enjoyment in whatever I'm doing, and an overall enjoyment of life again. Even being furloughed for months and being at home all the time I still have this sense of happiness inside. The voice inside and inner talk have started to decrease lately as well.

Another thing that happened is people have been blocking off my garage at my apartment complex the last week or so. Usually I would just let it go and not say anything, but anger took over one night late last week and I had to resolve it or it would just continue and I would put it off. Speaking up and saying something I'm attributing to OF since I didn't even hesitate to voice my displeasure with my neighbors.

[Bayern2]

Cycle 3 - Day 3:

Sitting here this afternoon I feel quite a bit of anxiety building up, and most notably a lot of resistance brewing in my subconscious via thoughts of not running the program anymore. I feel like on OF it's easier to identify this type of resistance, and knowing that's what it is I in no way will be giving in to it cause I know exactly what it is. So for now I'll just ride out the rest of the day and run my loops tonight. Might start the loops earlier in the evening if the thoughts don't go away by then. You're not beating me today SubC.