10 hours ago
Since alpha male 6G is going to be released maybe sooner or later i had what looks like TID from it (i'm very excited about it by the way), suddenly i find myself doubting who i am, what i have been doing with my life, how it turned into a disaster, since when it became worst, right now i'm at a loss, i'm like the guy who is always drunk at the bar every day wanting to drink more until the bartender refuses to serve me, swallowing my pain and sorrows, self destroying myself from the inside, i can't even remember when was the last time i slept well enough for my mind to be in optimal condition, i should consider brain optimizer after this, i feel very fucked up.
Somehow a part of myself believes no matter how i try things never turn my way, the suppressed pain never goes away and here i am rotting like a corpse, no matter how much healing i try to do the main issue remains the same, i refuse to let go of the pain, as if i already accepted this fate, but since having this TID my mind just go off and i wonder how much i have wasted my life, did i truly felt alive back then many years ago, how it was to be oblivious of the things that now torment me even if i can't recognize them, since when i abandoned myself to just rot, it's like my whole identity is crumbling, so maybe i should try and do a cleanup for my own sake for once, what i want is to feel alive again.
Somehow a part of myself believes no matter how i try things never turn my way, the suppressed pain never goes away and here i am rotting like a corpse, no matter how much healing i try to do the main issue remains the same, i refuse to let go of the pain, as if i already accepted this fate, but since having this TID my mind just go off and i wonder how much i have wasted my life, did i truly felt alive back then many years ago, how it was to be oblivious of the things that now torment me even if i can't recognize them, since when i abandoned myself to just rot, it's like my whole identity is crumbling, so maybe i should try and do a cleanup for my own sake for once, what i want is to feel alive again.
