EPRHA (Rise of the Phoenix)

[Tao374]

Day 55: Still listening, had a crazy weekend after my last post and wasn't home to listen two nights in a row. Hoping that didn't set me back to bad. What this sub is doing is hard to explain. When I used ASC it was easy to see changes as the sub built up my confidence. This sub actually tears you down and removes all of you that you don't need. That being said it's confusing sometimes because emotions that I have associated myself with being for years are hard to find and I'm like who am I. This is a good things but without some of these deep dark emotions and thoughts that have driven me for so long I feel almost lost at times. I have faith that I will land in a good place from this journey and look forward to completing my 96 days of EPRHA and moving into LTU.

On my last post I have went back on my complete NoFap. I have removed porn from my life as I basically no longer like it anyways but I feel like extended periods of built up sexual tensions are not healthy. It was hurting my work productivity, mood and social life.

Emotionally I seem to be healing more the longer I listen. I'm starting to feel like I can open and actually have a relationship that isn't based on sex. I feel more emotionally available but not in a bad or door mat kind of way. Undecided if I actually want to pursue another serious relationship at this time; just kind of enjoying the inner peace I've been having.

That's enough for tonight need to sleep, thanks for reading and happy journey.