EPHRA v 1.0 Returning with A (Bad-Ass) Vengeance

[Rennus]

Well to be more precise, I wasn't like break dancing out in the middle of aisle 13 in the baking section, I just did as much as using my wallet and tapping it on my hand creating a "beat" and "boogying down" creating a movement rhythmically along with the beat.... waiting for my turn standing in line with someone behind me and another guy sitting at a close sight distance taking a glance at my boogies.....

That's still pretty good, as it means you're far more comfortable than before, and aren't anxious and 'frozen up'.

I know that first timers at work dont get acquainted instantly at the snap of a finger with other people on their first day. But I remained calm and like just stood on the sideline while others joined and formed groups chattering away and joking. Of course I am sure theyve known each other for ages....problem is I am naturally not the guy who is the comedian standing on the podium....I am not the guy who knows ice breakers to randomly break silence and build rapport.

I theorize a natural at the craft will immediately break ice and create bonds even on his first day. A craft I would love to hone someday.

I get exactly what you mean about others having fun and you just standing around. I've had that experience, haha. It fixes itself as you become more comfortable and observe how people behave, and form a general idea for things. You'd be surprised how many people are able to talk and break the ice, but fail hilariously LOL

My girlfriend knew a guy who talked a lot and came off as confident but couldn't even tell when to stop flirting because he just didn't understand how to read cues! Everyone needs practice, in the end.

It is just social anxiety for me and the meshing of not knowing what to say or break ice or even making up random stories to be funny whether the story is real or made up.

But what do you think about this? I am sure that is very common in the work place how coworkers have real crazy out of this world stories to tell every single day they come in to work and get others to laugh that really happened in their life.....

real life example, one guy at work talks about his cat having caesars......and got a chuckle out of his coworkers; they corrected him saying seizures not caesars; I already thought a cat with seizures was funny (not in a cruel way) the icing on the cake was how he thought it was caesars replacing the word seizures

That's what I mean when I said you need to be more forgiving with yourself.

I've had the same issues socially, and I'd be comparing myself to a 'natural' exactly in the same way you do - that's why I'm saying it might be harmful, because it sabotaged my progress later on. It kinda makes you impatient over time and then makes you get disappointed with your progress - after all, going from say, being someone who's usually nervous, to socially skilled, takes time.

Think about this: what's a natural? Usually, it's someone who grew up that way for various reasons, or someone who has lots of experience.

For someone who isn't a natural, we have to be more patient.

You're doing really good compared to what you were like before judging from things you've said on other posts and stuff, just take it slow. As long as you're paying attention, putting in effort, and feeling comfortable socially, you'll soak up experience.

And, again, you're doing seriously good. Keep the ball rolling.

Hey dude, PM me. What you said about arranged marriages and shitty mobile carriers makes me think we might be from the same country [or at least, the same region]