EPHRA JOURNAL

[ncbeareatingman]

Old Stuff coming up for review and healing. Pau ko has spoken of such and shared such and I can verify that as well as part of my own experience,too,without at all 'projecting' it on to you. It seems and makes sense that its part of the process of healing,as far as tensions in the body and the like.
As previously shared,I utilize the telephathic healing processes,MY personal rejuvenizer,as well as using the sub EPRHA to clear the old stuff out. deep breathing,lots of pure water,ect. supplication to source/spirit,meditation.ect.
Whatever works for you that helps...these are some of mine listed abouve. Pau Ko,stated that AFTER 96 days or there abouts roughly 90 days that much of the tension,fear and related was gone from her life. IM 6 weeks into it now and so another 6 weeks to ago,perhaps,but each soul is different and it may take me much longer...we'll have to see. hang in there self helper, I Know its not always easy but keep going,sounds to me ,like your' re close to a, 'break on thru to the other side' kind of, break thru here. BELIEVE ME I've had massive stuff come up as well...stuff I've long 'forgotten about'. I've even started a forgive my enemies short list, actually putting in 'supplication" with source/spirit/conscious energy for them and their highest and best good,as such
Huge for me to do so...I have a long memory on things,both good ,neutral,not so good stuff. I Hope yer feeling better soon,I sincerely do. I know how tuff this all can be. least we've got each others support here in the forum people like ,james,pau ko,keith,you,and tao,etc shannon,and others.
Keith,

[ncbeareatingman]

Excellent advice Man. I agree. I can defintely state that is very much so,the case. best to clear now than to have to do twice as much if not work and have it be that much harder later on with a even more powerful sub or subs!!

Yeah, stick with your current sub. There is no rush. Having a solid base will make future subs work far better for you. You only have to look at some of the journals for people who jumped in to the big subs to see that they are finding it hard going because they have so many issues!

[I am a self helper]

Thanks for the support, it is really appreciated. It also helps to know that there are others having the same experiences and that are willing to share. I know that there is alot of stuff in my head and to be honest I am terrified of what might pop up. BUT, I know that in order to reach my full potential and become the person that I know that I am deep down, I will have to face it head on. It's great to have such amazing people, such as yourselves and others, to share with.

[I am a self helper]

Day 26
I woke this morning without a headache and not feeling quite as exhausted mentally. I don't know if it is the sub or that I took 2 night time allergy pills and slept 12 hours. But I feel somewhat better. Still have a lack of focus but my head is clearer than it has been this week.
I have not experienced any epiphamies but I had a strong urge to do something totally out of character. This morning I was picking up breakfast/lunch for work. I saw one of our drivers from a different division on route. I pulled over, introduced myself and told him that I wanted to buy him breakfast. Not a sitdown or anything, just bring him food.
Normally that is not something that I would do. In the past, i would call his supervisor and let them know what a good job he did, but never approach them.
I am feeling fairly happy and positive so far for the day

[I am a self helper]

I must admit, I am developing quite the addiction to the forums. Love reading the progress different individuals are experiencing with programs that I am either on or will be on in the near future.

I realized today that my stress level is way down. I am way behind at work. I explained to the GM that he was expecting way to much from me and explained my time frame (various job demands) to him several weeks ago. He more or less blew me off. Probably because in the past I would put in as many hours as it took to get the job done, even taking work home with me. Not happening this year. I fully intend to say sorry but not prepared for 2015, you had me doing way to much, it way not a feasible expectation. I didn't make my goals, putting it back of on management, they would not work with me to accomplish them because it would inconvenience somebody else. Even with all of it, I have not had any of my nightmares of incompetency that I have been experiencing since starting with this company almost 11 years ago.
Thanks again IML[/i]

[I am a self helper]

So, the last couple of nights I have been sleeping very hard, not remembering any dreams. Last night I did have an interesting one that I thought that I would share. I dont remember the details but one portion stuck with me.

I don't know if it is something working from the sub or simply reading too many forums last night just before bed.
I also must admit that my husband has absolutely no idea that he is being exposed to the sub for 8 hours a night. He is a non-believer.

Soo, to my partial dream.

My husband and I for some reason decided to go get a couples colon cleanse (hot date night right?) and the person giving the cleanse had us doing push ups and sit ups during the cleanse.

The last post I read before bed was leoisthesuns "cleaning off the mental BS"[/b] Could this be a pick up from the name?

[I am a self helper]

Epiphamy time.
I realized on my way home from work that I no longer have that victim mentality. I did 40 days of the remove the victim mentality sub. I didn't see much of a change and what I did, was short lived.
EPHRA is amazing!!! Sorry, I can't say it enough.
I am no longer looking to my bosses for validation on my work. I no longer need that pat on my head or approval to tell me that I am a good girl. I do my job and ignore whatever is thrown my way, going with the flow. I am so much more relaxed than I can remember ever being. When faced with a problem I make my best judgement call and leave it at that.
When i start to feel frustrated, I try to understand/remind myself that I have never walked in that persons shoes, I don't know what makes them tick. What made the become the person that they are and react the way they do.

[ncbeareatingman]

Wow. what amazing progress SelfHelper...amazing. YOU go! awesome.
Keith.

Epiphamy time.
I realized on my way home from work that I no longer have that victim mentality. I did 40 days of the remove the victim mentality sub. I didn't see much of a change and what I did, was short lived.
EPHRA is amazing!!! Sorry, I can't say it enough.
I am no longer looking to my bosses for validation on my work. I no longer need that pat on my head or approval to tell me that I am a good girl. I do my job and ignore whatever is thrown my way, going with the flow. I am so much more relaxed than I can remember ever being. When faced with a problem I make my best judgement call and leave it at that.
When i start to feel frustrated, I try to understand/remind myself that I have never walked in that persons shoes, I don't know what makes them tick. What made the become the person that they are and react the way they do.

[I am a self helper]

Day 30

I took a couple of steps backward durning my days off. I don't get near as much exposure due to family demands.

For the most part, I have been feeling calm and happy. But tired at the same time. For some unexplicable reason, my mother can ruin it in minutes.

Background on mom
73 years old. Has lived with us for the past 10 years. Since retiring she is extremely needy and does nothing but lay in her bed and either watch tv, play on her ipad or sleep.

When I get home, mom wants to tell me all about my brothers and sister, all either recovering (or not) drug addicts, her aches and pains and all about what is going on with the dogs (this really doesn't change much, but I get to hear about it daily). If there is anything she needs done, I need to spend hours on the computer helping her "because she can't find it on her tablet". Incidentally, why is that once people become elderly they regress to being teenagers? I have to turn off lights behind her, clean up behind her and, best of all, she blames my 14 year old for stuff that I know she does. I know that she wants attention but it get difficult to cope with

On the other hand, I daily, work 10 hour days with an hour and a half total commute, cook dinner, make lunches, pick up the house and keep my foot up my 14 year old sons rear on a daily. Plus throw in the errands that need run and serious cleaning to be done on the days off. To top it off, my schedule is very erratic with 3 different start times, this does not allow for a set sleep schedule.

But, I guess that I can say that I can see some improvement from the sub while dealing with this. I have not taken any Xanax and no alcohol to cope as I was doing this time last year. Yeah Me!!

Vent time over. Sorry guys. I am just feeling overwhelmed. Getting back on schedule today. Cant wait to get my happy back!!

[risingwarrior]

Great progress! Keep going

[I am a self helper]

Day 30 afternoon after rant.
It was definitely a rough day.

I worked up my nerve to talk to my boss about changing my title and backing off some of my operational requirements. It was a total waste of time, but I managed to stay calm, straight to the point and even though I didn't agree with what he had to say, took it in stride and didn't stew over it. I just let it go. Another position is opening up at a different site, doing a different a job, but the managerial/supervisory team want me to join them. I hate the thought of leaving because i know that years of programs and procedures that I have developed, everything that I have built up will come undone.

We had an on-line survey that is supposed to be totally anonymous. Historically I would sugar coat the answers to keep the GM out of trouble. This year I said exactly what felt. Lets see if I am the one that gets in trouble Lol

Due to a sudden illness, we had to put our min-pin down. I spoke with the vet, asked questions and made the final decision. I then calmly explained to my 14 year old son what happened and why. Then totally lost it, blaming myself because I was so busy that I didn't pay close enough attention to realize how sick she was getting. Even though I was so upset, I got control of myself fairly quickly.

[I am a self helper]

Day 33
I read all of these other posts and everybody is taking about how they have numerous vivid and detailed dreams nightly. I rarely remember having any dreams. What does it mean that I don't normally remember having any dreams at all?

[Shawn]

Day 33
I read all of these other posts and everybody is taking about how they have numerous vivid and detailed dreams nightly. I rarely remember having any dreams. What does it mean that I don't normally remember having any dreams at all?

I can just speak for myself, but I remember more often my dreams if I take some Vitamin B supplements. Without taking this I also rarely remember my dreams.

[I am a self helper]

Day 33
I read all of these other posts and everybody is taking about how they have numerous vivid and detailed dreams nightly. I rarely remember having any dreams. What does it mean that I don't normally remember having any dreams at all?

I can just speak for myself, but I remember more often my dreams if I take some Vitamin B supplements. Without taking this I also rarely remember my dreams.

Thanks Sebastian, I will give it a try. Is there a specific time that I should take them?