08-20-2022, 11:06 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-20-2022, 11:14 PM by EvolvingPhoenix.)
I have a theory I've been mulling over in the past hour or so, born of ideas kind of forming over the course of years with increasing momentum. It's just a theory, but it might be worth considering quite heavily. The theory is this:
The real reason why we find things such as nofap and celibacy to be so difficult isn't just because we are uncomfortable and because we get horny. It goes deeper than that. The feelings of desire are increasingly intense under such situations and the contrast between desiring someone/something on one hand and the belief that we cannot have what it is that we desire is painful. Therefor we try to release this desire as quick as possible in order to return to a placid state, where our feelings are less intense, uncomfortable and painful. The root issue to this might simply be the decision to believe, on a deep unconscious level that we cannot have what we want, for this reason or that reason. But it's just a belief. And beliefs are decisions first and beliefs consequently.
Therefor, the decision to change begins with the decision to change the belief. It's important to do more than just ell ourselves we can have what we desire, but to choose to truly believe ourselves. This means letting go of old schemas and self imposed limitations which may have at one point served a useful purpose but now only serve to create unnecessary and undesirable resistance to the fulfillment of desire.
What if, upon changing this fundamental faulty belief which is, at it's core, untrue, we find that such intense desire (and the intensity of feeling that comes with it) is now enjoyable to experience, or at least something better than unpleasant (or worse yet painful)?
This may explain my red chakra blockage and the resulting sacral chakra blockage that comes with it, as well as a good bit of yellow.
There are a lot of beliefs we hold onto because even if they fundamentally run in opposition to the attainment of what we desire, provide us with a sense of stability, due to the fact that such thoughts/beliefs, through reinforcement, are consistent and therefor predictable and stable. This is a feeling of false security, ironically creating conflicting feelings of insecurity and fear. Maybe useful as an adaptive mechanism for times of great stress that seems (at younger ages) threatening to our survival (a root chakra concern, primarily) but now as adults, who are, in fact, quite "safe" as you might think of it, are unlikely feasibly to put us at jeopardy.
To realize the notion that maybe we have a hard time letting go of maladaptive beliefs for this reason gives me a sense that maybe I can let them go. A good way to do that would be through meditation, as well as physical movements designed to energetically facilitate the practice of cultivating inner silence.
Cultivating silence can greatly diminish one's sense of attachment to these thoughts/beliefs.
I should probably put more time and effort into this, for it decreases resistance to achieving inspirational nd flow state. It might SEEM unproductive to the outside eye, but it is productive in that it helps to remove the biggest hurdles of resistance to that which would be productive.
Worth a shot, right?
Oh, and as for what to do when feeling really horny cuz of nofap. Well... I think maybe it's just to learn to sit with the intense feeling and let go of any thoughts or notions of being unable to attain what is desired as best as possible. Also, I have (in hypnogogic states) looked pretty deep into my desires and previously aforementioned desire to feel loved, wanted, desired, appreciated, valued and validated, stemming from childhood wounds, seems to be at the core of it. So perhaps the best method to deal with the intense desire is to instead of viewing it as uncomfortable, view it as a sign of well being and a sign of healthy desire for that which I CAN have (that core need for love and validation at the root of it) to be more than just achievable, but achievable in the moment. That is critical. View it through that lense, sit with the energy, and focus that energy upon the fostering of feeling how I intend to feel by attaining that desire (loved, validated, desirable, worthy) Just jump to that feeling and sit in THAT feeling, which is the end result that is desired throught he sexual contact. Then view that sexual energy as a necessary creative force needed in order to facilitate the FEELING of that core need being fulfilled and use it to FELL more intensely. Then it becomes enjoyable to have that intensity, for it is an intensity in feeling of having what is desired, rather than lacking it.
That's ALSO worth a shot, I reckon.
The real reason why we find things such as nofap and celibacy to be so difficult isn't just because we are uncomfortable and because we get horny. It goes deeper than that. The feelings of desire are increasingly intense under such situations and the contrast between desiring someone/something on one hand and the belief that we cannot have what it is that we desire is painful. Therefor we try to release this desire as quick as possible in order to return to a placid state, where our feelings are less intense, uncomfortable and painful. The root issue to this might simply be the decision to believe, on a deep unconscious level that we cannot have what we want, for this reason or that reason. But it's just a belief. And beliefs are decisions first and beliefs consequently.
Therefor, the decision to change begins with the decision to change the belief. It's important to do more than just ell ourselves we can have what we desire, but to choose to truly believe ourselves. This means letting go of old schemas and self imposed limitations which may have at one point served a useful purpose but now only serve to create unnecessary and undesirable resistance to the fulfillment of desire.
What if, upon changing this fundamental faulty belief which is, at it's core, untrue, we find that such intense desire (and the intensity of feeling that comes with it) is now enjoyable to experience, or at least something better than unpleasant (or worse yet painful)?
This may explain my red chakra blockage and the resulting sacral chakra blockage that comes with it, as well as a good bit of yellow.
There are a lot of beliefs we hold onto because even if they fundamentally run in opposition to the attainment of what we desire, provide us with a sense of stability, due to the fact that such thoughts/beliefs, through reinforcement, are consistent and therefor predictable and stable. This is a feeling of false security, ironically creating conflicting feelings of insecurity and fear. Maybe useful as an adaptive mechanism for times of great stress that seems (at younger ages) threatening to our survival (a root chakra concern, primarily) but now as adults, who are, in fact, quite "safe" as you might think of it, are unlikely feasibly to put us at jeopardy.
To realize the notion that maybe we have a hard time letting go of maladaptive beliefs for this reason gives me a sense that maybe I can let them go. A good way to do that would be through meditation, as well as physical movements designed to energetically facilitate the practice of cultivating inner silence.
Cultivating silence can greatly diminish one's sense of attachment to these thoughts/beliefs.
I should probably put more time and effort into this, for it decreases resistance to achieving inspirational nd flow state. It might SEEM unproductive to the outside eye, but it is productive in that it helps to remove the biggest hurdles of resistance to that which would be productive.
Worth a shot, right?
Oh, and as for what to do when feeling really horny cuz of nofap. Well... I think maybe it's just to learn to sit with the intense feeling and let go of any thoughts or notions of being unable to attain what is desired as best as possible. Also, I have (in hypnogogic states) looked pretty deep into my desires and previously aforementioned desire to feel loved, wanted, desired, appreciated, valued and validated, stemming from childhood wounds, seems to be at the core of it. So perhaps the best method to deal with the intense desire is to instead of viewing it as uncomfortable, view it as a sign of well being and a sign of healthy desire for that which I CAN have (that core need for love and validation at the root of it) to be more than just achievable, but achievable in the moment. That is critical. View it through that lense, sit with the energy, and focus that energy upon the fostering of feeling how I intend to feel by attaining that desire (loved, validated, desirable, worthy) Just jump to that feeling and sit in THAT feeling, which is the end result that is desired throught he sexual contact. Then view that sexual energy as a necessary creative force needed in order to facilitate the FEELING of that core need being fulfilled and use it to FELL more intensely. Then it becomes enjoyable to have that intensity, for it is an intensity in feeling of having what is desired, rather than lacking it.
That's ALSO worth a shot, I reckon.
