04-12-2020, 02:29 PM
EDIT: I wrote this yesterday but never hit "post reply"
It seems I have been approaching chakras wrong: trying to heal the root chakra so I could move onto healing the sacral. All the blockages are blockages if different emotions based in the SAME traumatic experience:
Root chakra) Fear of physical death rooted in life threatening trauma.
Sacral chakra) extreme forlornness, bitterness, dissatisfaction etc. All based in experiencing life threatening trauma completely alone. The disconnection making the experience that much more horrifying and creating a deeply rooted perception of disconnection, ttherefor living life in a way where I do not truly connect with others ans then project dissatisfaction over my disconnected state onto the rest of the world, because I am too disconnected with myself to be self aware of my own choice to remain disconnected. Feeling unworthy and forsaken, I forsake connection and suffer over my damnable existence. I used to identify as incel, refusing to take responsibility for my choice to forsake the intimacy and possibility of connection inherent in sexual union. Always feeling inadequate for connecting with, I would deem women inadequate for connectinf with. Then I woukd bemoan my fate of never being deemed worthy of sexual selection despite the many opportunities given to me to ha e sex with attraxtice women who liked me. Only by taking the responsibility of choosing to connect with others can I heal my inherent sense of shame and disconnection.
Solar plexus) Feeling powerless to do anything about it. Iy happened when I was completely powerless to stop it from happening. I suppress the emotion of powerlessness because it is horrifying. But I have the power to choose to process the experience despite my powerlessness to stop the experience. My only power is my power to surrendur.
So... Connect with somebody who will be with me and comfort me as I process the emotional process of fear, shame, loneliness, pain and powerlessness to stop it all, completely surrenduring tonthe experience no matter how overwhelming.
Tall order, but I woke up today, indulged in an inyense fantasy regarding indulgence of these blockages that I came to a realization of a process I could create to do such a thing, because I fantasized about the intense experience.
In order to make it happen however, I would have to really set up the experience: the right things would be needed, the right space for setting it up, the right parameters for the experience determined for optimal effectiveness and likelihood of happening, the right amount of money to afford what I need, the right process for going about it, the right understanding of the process I woukd be going through, etc. Etc.
It seems I have been approaching chakras wrong: trying to heal the root chakra so I could move onto healing the sacral. All the blockages are blockages if different emotions based in the SAME traumatic experience:
Root chakra) Fear of physical death rooted in life threatening trauma.
Sacral chakra) extreme forlornness, bitterness, dissatisfaction etc. All based in experiencing life threatening trauma completely alone. The disconnection making the experience that much more horrifying and creating a deeply rooted perception of disconnection, ttherefor living life in a way where I do not truly connect with others ans then project dissatisfaction over my disconnected state onto the rest of the world, because I am too disconnected with myself to be self aware of my own choice to remain disconnected. Feeling unworthy and forsaken, I forsake connection and suffer over my damnable existence. I used to identify as incel, refusing to take responsibility for my choice to forsake the intimacy and possibility of connection inherent in sexual union. Always feeling inadequate for connecting with, I would deem women inadequate for connectinf with. Then I woukd bemoan my fate of never being deemed worthy of sexual selection despite the many opportunities given to me to ha e sex with attraxtice women who liked me. Only by taking the responsibility of choosing to connect with others can I heal my inherent sense of shame and disconnection.
Solar plexus) Feeling powerless to do anything about it. Iy happened when I was completely powerless to stop it from happening. I suppress the emotion of powerlessness because it is horrifying. But I have the power to choose to process the experience despite my powerlessness to stop the experience. My only power is my power to surrendur.
So... Connect with somebody who will be with me and comfort me as I process the emotional process of fear, shame, loneliness, pain and powerlessness to stop it all, completely surrenduring tonthe experience no matter how overwhelming.
Tall order, but I woke up today, indulged in an inyense fantasy regarding indulgence of these blockages that I came to a realization of a process I could create to do such a thing, because I fantasized about the intense experience.
In order to make it happen however, I would have to really set up the experience: the right things would be needed, the right space for setting it up, the right parameters for the experience determined for optimal effectiveness and likelihood of happening, the right amount of money to afford what I need, the right process for going about it, the right understanding of the process I woukd be going through, etc. Etc.
