EP UMS Journal pt. 2

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I'm back. I dropped my phone into water and couldn't use it for quite some time. On top of that, my laptop got messed up.

On the plus side, I'm taking more Uni classes and have jist recently been accepted by Rev.com to do freelance audio transcription.

Interestingly, UMS seems to have been working on me during the lengthy off period.

I have reached a point where I am over most of the stuff that held me back and am now strongly motivated to make a lot of money. I have numerous ideas for how to do it:

1) music career. Rap and learn how to sing. Use type beats on the net. Monetize it using tips from Smart Rapper, How to Rap and Finn McKenty.

2) Streaming. This is a good idea to use in conjunction with Youtubing, music and Instagram. Use YT rather than Twitch. Also, go to house parties and stream myself performing at them rather than using the traditional method for live performance (live at venues) which is active income that if done right still rarely turns a profit nowadays and cannot be utilized during quarantine. I always thought the stage was limiting and needed a paradigm shift anyway. This virus just showed us all how to do that.

3) Gather people who can help me launch a tech startup and create a REAL platform for free speech, emphasizing free expression, collaboration, cocreation between consumer amd content creator that blurs the lines, and focus on helping the content creators who built my site get rich without being stifled. Instead of having an authoritarian corporate structure controlling site quality, create a system where the community of users does most of the work, helping the site to evolve organically and avoid the inevitable collapse that comes with a bureaucratic authoritarian structure for the site. Try to be as libertarian as I can: govern best by governing the least. Emphasize community responsibility for the site's direction and quality, putting power back into the hands of "we the people" rather than empowering myself at everyone else's expense by shouldering all the responsibility, which seems to always lead to collapse and decay anyway. Merely facilitate the communal site building process. A built in safeguard against complacency and corruption.

@Shannon What do you think of these ideas?

[Shannon]

Well for one, welcome back.

It sounds like UMS was running after you lost access to running it because you were running on the changes it made, which will continue with or without it. Running it more will only make things better. I'm glad to see you making progress.

You ask what I think of those ideas. I'm certainly no expert on musical endeavors, but what you've detailed here sounds feasible. You'll need to write out detailed plans for guiding yourself and find the right team, of course, but I don't see anything that screams "showstopper". It's a matter of how you go about making it a reality and who you get to help you.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Well for one, welcome back.

It sounds like UMS was running after you lost access to running it because you were running on the changes it made, which will continue with or without it.  Running it more will only make things better.  I'm glad to see you making progress.

You ask what I think of those ideas.  I'm certainly no expert on musical endeavors, but what you've detailed here sounds feasible.  You'll need to write out detailed plans for guiding yourself and find the right team, of course, but I don't see anything that screams "showstopper".  It's a matter of how you go about making it a reality and who you get to help you.

Thanks for the input Shannon. I'm really excited about the opportunities to make money and improve my life in general. You're right about needing the right team put together. LoA stuff can help attract the right people. I am thinking UMS should help to manifest them as well, so thanks for that. 


I have learned lately that gratitude is key to manifestation. Every circumstance seems to carry energetic pathways that when accepted with gratitude become stronger. So I was told to be grateful even fpr a penny found on the street for instance, taking it as an "emissary" for greater things and accepting it into my life so more may come. Also to "live as if" manifestation scripting and journaling is best paired with daily action that is in alignment with the intended manifestations, or so the theory goes. Makes aenae to me. 

Thanks Shannon for everything. Ypur input and your phenomenal subs! When I am ready to use LTU6 it's gonna be killer!

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Day 3 of carpetbombing.

I have manifested some interesting opportunities:

1) I may have mentioned already, but I am doing online audio transcription, though I'm not making a lot yet off of it.

2) Vocational Rehabilitation services are pleased with my progress and offering to pay for my education.

3) I have been offered $50 dollars to walk the dog of a neighbour every day past 6:00PM for a week. It is easy: just put the dog in a wagon, roll her to the cul de sac at the end of my tiny neighbourhoods street and let her do her business at fhe cul de sac where dogs tend to to do their thang. Put her back in the wagon. Take her home. Let her out of the wagon and let her back into the house. Should take like 10 to 15 minutes. Easy peasy. Every day for one week. For 50 bucks. That's pretty good!

4) Shortly after, a couple neighbours came by and asked if starting on the same day as my dog walking, I could stop by their house once a morning for like a week and feed their cat once a day. Just go to their house and leave some food out for the cat in the dish at their front door. Once a day for like a week. 50 bucks. Easy peasy.

Each time I make money, I treat it like an energetic current; an emissary for more money into my life. I thank it and welcome more into my life with gratitude.

I also have my parents buying various birthday gifts even though they agreed to just give me 150 dollars for my birthday. I turned 31, 3 days ago (Sep 30th)

On the emotional front, I am clearing some issues with my exfriend. I have been getting guidance on the matter and as I heal it, I am also turning the situation around and readying myself for her return so we can work this shit out, but I have to be decided fully on what I want and then act in accordance.

I have had a recent mentor in my life enter into it and he made very clear that I am 100% responsible for everything I have experienced and that I have the power to change my experience and manifest whatever I want. He also told me that this relationship with this friend of mine is bigger than both of us and that there is no running away from it. I have been getting perspective as to how my friend feels and why and having to take responsibility for changing whatever about myself aligns with those perspectives. Energetically, I am leading the relationship.

I am full of overabundance "yin" energy as one might put it. As in feminine passive energy. I am being challenged to balance it with masculine, active "yang" energy.  The inverse for my ex friend. She gains in yin energy as I gain in yang. She changes as I change. She unwittingly follows my lead. She mirrors me back to me and vice versa.

We are both also working through C-PTSD and abandonment trauma. Also through patterns of scapegoating, codependency, abandonment, etc.

Since I am leading the charge in this, she only changes when I do, know it or not. There is more to this, but I've said enough.

The best way to change my situation is to take full responsibility and forgive, both myself and her. It is still important that I properly set standards and healthy boundaries, while manifesting a better scenario where the situation changes to my liking and my grievances are resolved to my liking. First, I must resolve what about me causes her grievances. Then the rest follows. The first thing that needs resolution is internal conflict. The rest follows. This ties into abundance inherently...

[Shannon]

Sounds like you could easily start a dog walking business, and grow it until others are doing the work and you are sitting in the manager's chair.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

That's not a bad idea!

Although I feel it's more of a means for gaining capital, so I can do something even more lucrative. Another development lately is the development of me starting to really realize my potential, what it is that I have always known I can do but never had faith, was too scared too and made excuses since I was a kid not to.

I am slowly slogging off the need to procrastinate.


It's like... You ever had a feeling like you've always told yourself that you don't know what to do with your life because deep down, you DO know what to do and you're just deeply scared to do it? It's kinda like that.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Day 1 of carpetbombing. I'll had been missing my phone for a bit, so once again I had to go for a bit without yhe sub. Fortunately that was during bloom at tge end of a month, so only a few days were missed. Ima make up for it with a day or 2 of carpetbombing then put it back to a regular schedule.

I am constantly getting indicator after indicator og what I need to do, and that I will see massive success (possibly quickly) if I do.

It DOES conflict with my college thing however. I mighy be able to get this all back on track though.

I am also being given an oddjob that could payout at around 50 bucks again. I am scheduled to do another online audio transcription assignment at about noon tomorrow. And my mom is saying she will pay me 25 dollars if I fond something of hers that is missing


Also, mom owes me 150 dollars for my birthday. I'm gonna need that.

There is an anti-procrastination course I could take that will be able to help me, with a guy on Youtube named Alexander Grace. Smart guy. I would recommend giving his videos a watch.

As far as emotions are concerned, it is Scorpio season amd I am embracing it. I was really working through some shit over the friendship breakup and the abandonment trauma it triggered. I've been learning more about healing from trauma.

I am also learning mire about LoA/manifestation/"becoming". I have finally accepted that I deserved better than the mistreatment and neglect I have experienced, I am struggling to forgive.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Update, as of Dec 20, 2020 --

I have been busy with schooling this semester with a heavy work load. I am currently on my second to last day of carpetbombing for the week. I am considering giving it an early rest though, because I am feeling tired and drained even with good sleep.

I have made MAJOUR strides in getting over the friendship breakup: I have had to admit that while I did stuff wrong, so dis she, and I got A LOT of understanding about thw fundamental issues with her and what went on in the friendship. I have also been letting go of my need for some sort of "justice" or reconciliation or closure from the situation. I was trying to use Los the while time to get those things until recently. So long as she continues to scapegoat, self project and indulge in victim me tality etc. She will have the same issuea and aelf sabotaging patterns over and ovwr again. Best to disconnect from all that.

Still, I find myself in a new set if issues. No matter how much sleep I get, I am tired as f**k which means that my unconscious mibd ia resisting aone deep programming the program is doing. Maybe the FRM? I dunno.

I also came to find that every time I ejaculate, libido and a certain type of energy seems to be lost. I hear mixed reports from sources I feel authoritative as to whether or nit thia is irreversible. Even so, through a certain meditative technique, another kind of energy can be used in order to replace the energy lost. A type of energy that self regenerates
I am using it for that, to energize from all this tiredness I'm facing, and other issues.

I will not be continuing with college. I will be focused on online audio transcription and creative side hustles: rapping, vlogging, streaming, Let's Plays, etc. To earn coin. I want to be independent.

I am getting some basic stuff for Xmas to help vlog and stream with. Here's what I got or am getting:

High Def webcam, Blur Yeti mic, green screen background, Pop filter, high quality camera for pics, phone. I don't have much more than that yet. I have a giant collection if gamea I havent played and if I can get things set up for streaming, not only cam they become a financial asset, but playing them can become productive.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

@Shannon

"This morning was my third night on for this cycle of LTUv6. I didn't want to wake up. When I did, at first I was trying to work and finding that my subconscious was trying to fight me. It kept attempting to distract me with this and that and the other thing. Sure, this job I am doing right now is not my favorite, boring, repetitive, yada yada, but it has to get done.

So after wrangling with it for a while, and forcing myself back on track again and again, I came up with a solution to try and wow. It works. I just did more than 2 days worth of work, and I have plenty of time to keep working after my break. This is great!

What's my secret? Instead of letting the part of me that gets bored and wants to do something else distract me, I started feeding it information in the background while I do the boring, repetitive, mind numbing work. It's happy... and I get a LOT more work done. Win win!

Okay. Break's over. Back to work."

This has been a MAJOUR problem for me lately.

What kind of background info should I feed my subconcious? And do you have any advice regarding my fatigue due to subconscious resistance?

Thank you for everything btw. I have come. A LONG WAY from where I was before I discovered IML.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Update:

So I have definitely reached a majour turning point in the friendship breakup issue:

I reached a point where after talking to one of my... Let's just say esoteric teachers, and gaining some philosophical perspective, I thought about the situation and my grievances and said to myself: "Look, you're already convinced of your stance on the matter. It's pretty fair and reasonable at this point. Holding onto grievances because you feel unjustly treated in the matter is basically just holding onto a) victim mentality and b) self importance, not to mention c) the illusions of lack and dependence. You don't need this person to validate you or your feelings and perspectives. You don't need to harp on how they're gonna pay the consequences for their lack of personal accountability in the matter either. They probably will, and they will also probably, so long as they refuse to lack the prerequisite self awareness to own up to their end of responsibility for everything wrong on their end of the situation, if nothing else, pay the price of the inherent disempowerment and self-sabotage that comes with irresponsibility, but even if they don't, that's THEIR problem, not yours. Whether they are held accountable, whether they take responsibility on their end, whether there's some sort of justice or whatever, or not, not only is iy not your problem, but you don't need that stuff to happen. Let it grind away at your arrogance. Free yourself from self importance, dependence and victim mentality, and you will have power in freedom that irresponsibility would deny her, and if nothing else there ia an inherent sense of justice in that, but what's more important, there's growth , power and freedom in it. Just let go of this dead and limiting situation. There's nothing more in it for you. Just let it go. Whatever bullshit self deception and irresponsible attitudes she may or may not entertain are her problem, don't keep letting it also be yours. She can enjoy that stagnant and monotonous way of things if she wants or she can cut it out amd actually live life that's he r prerogative, but you don't have to stay stuck in those patterns and energies. And you don't have to keep giving time and energy to someone who never openly appreciated it or returned it to you. You can move on from this to better things."

And I let it go. Any time I would feel pain from it, I would just say "Lwt it grind away ypur arrogance and self-important need for validation" over and over in order to help accept the situation and move on. You know, be grateful for hoq it's changed and strengthened me.

It's definitely made a difference. My energy is different
So is my emotional state. I'm way more detached , stoic and calm.

I'm also suddenly getting hit up by highly attractive women on social media. Honestly, it seems the less I invest in that the more opportunities pop out of nowhere. It's not like my looks skyrocketed or I got famous or made more money. In fact, the Revver thing fell through, so I'm back at square 1 with all of that, unfortunately. But when I don't think about it, 9s and 10s hit me up on social media wanting to talk.

There are other times where I become mote invested and certain issues/patterns play out again, bit I recognize it, learn, adapt my behaviour and move on.

It's as though the energy itself ia being felt, even by total strangers om the internet from other parts of the country and the world. If it reverts back to the old energy, the same wounds reopen. Though I heal much more quickly and move on from it much more quickly. But if I change my energy for the better, that is met with the opposite effect, which is a lot nicer and cooler.

Money wise, I'm still looking for what to do, though once I get certain obligations out of the way, I intend to focus on online content creation
I am also looking into two other options:

Freelance translation work on Latium.com, which I have heard of some people making 500 a day doing if one plays one's cards right.

The other is getting a call center job, working for Progressive, which pays 16.5 to 18.5 dollars an hour, has lots of benefits and at least until the COVID situation changes, can be done outta the home.

So my situation there is still improving in a way. I wasn't making much on Rev.com anyway.

I am hoping to focus on online content creation though. Once that takes off well enough, I should be making decent coin to say the least, doing stuff I like and enjoy doing, as well as being my own boss. It'd be nice for sure.