EHPRA6

[Frosted]

Purposely holding off on posting. It’s been bumpy lately, but the progress is still there. I’ll check back in at some point.


@Ampersnd I’m so thankful that I’ve been putting in the boring foundational work all these years. It’s starting to catch up to me in a big way.

[Frosted]

I’m once again reminded of that story of the person who ran Overcome Smoking 5G and claimed the program didn’t work, but they just decided to quit smoking on their own. E6 is so invisible at times. It just feels like living life. Moving on from the past? Just something I’m doing, nothing crazy. Growing in awareness? Also doing that, no big deal. Etc.

Been noticing what’s holding me back from action, and other things. It’s a variety of things working in concert, but I’ll explain a big part of it. Growing up I was considered a gifted kid. I picked up things faster than other kids and was praised for it. I loved school. Slowly but surely I accumulated expectations from my mom and teachers as well as trauma from them as well as my peers. Eventually I liked school less and less and then started hating it. Also I began to hate menial tasks like cleaning my room because my mom would use punishments and exploit the adult-parent power dynamic to get me to do things, instead of raising a healthy child.

There are other factors, but these are two quick and simple explanations for what holds me back in taking action towards my goals. I have perfectionism and fear of failure. It’s not as bad as it used to be, but it’s still something I have to deal with when doing things. I want to enjoy things, not force myself to do them.

I notice how programming is beautiful. I want to be able to do it, but every time I do it’s so painful. I want to use it like legos, but I’ve got all this friction from trauma that makes it a pain in the ass and I get mentally tired too fast due to all that friction. The fear of failure is also annoying. I just want to enjoy learning and creating. I also want to write, but same deal.

Edit: The reason I shared the above is its relation to the bigger picture. If I overcome the issues holding me back from taking basic action towards my goals, that will be an exponential increase in the quality of my life because that’s my current bottleneck. I’ll begin making money as well as have stuff I love doing. It’ll also signal I’m close to healing all my trauma, as that’s the deep stuff.

I also find it interesting how confident in my success if I just take consistent action. Most people seem worried about their success making it on their own, whereas to me I’m confident of mine. Likely UMS2 as well as all the other subs I have used.

[Frosted]

Going through a lot of turmoil, pain and irritability lately. I seem to be dealing with really deep stuff.

[Benjamin]

I’m once again reminded of that story of the person who ran Overcome Smoking 5G and claimed the program didn’t work, but they just decided to quit smoking on their own. E6 is so invisible at times. It just feels like living life. Moving on from the past? Just something I’m doing, nothing crazy. Growing in awareness? Also doing that, no big deal. Etc.

Haha yep, I can even identify with this in other ways in that sometimes I don't know what a habit/practice/device etc is doing until I stop it. I think it's doing nothing, and I stop it and then start noticing "oh yeah it was doing this and this". I've had similar when i've got frustrated and stopped subliminals, yet at the time I wasn't as aware of what it was doing.

[Frosted]

@Benjamin Yeah it’s interesting, because these healing/clearing subs tend to be invisible on the micro side of things. It’s usually only after, that I notice how much I’ve grown. It’s like you’re carving something in wood and you can’t see your progress properly until you stop and blow away the wood shavings.

[Frosted]

Listing every transformation I’m going through would be exhausting and impractical. There’s too much to report. A lot of it I don’t fully understand using my logical mind associated with the formation of language anyways. Just wanted to come here and say that my results are awesome and continue to be awesome. I might just dip off and become part of the crowd silently getting results. I’ll probably still post here and there but no promises.

It’s funny because the changes I’m going through don’t feel like that big of a deal, and yet logically I know it is. I just feel like me. I’m aligning more with who I am and stripping away what I am not. I’m beginning to truly live authentically.

[Have at ye]

Funny how different programs affect people differently. On EHPRA, I couldn't stop yakking about what's happening in my mind. On OGSF, I'm quiet as a stone. You appear to have it in reverse.

[Frosted]

@Have at ye I think OGSF2 I was also a bit reclusive.


To anyone reading this, don’t skip out on healing or clearing even if you think you don’t need it. 99/100 times you’re wasting your time and your life. Life is too short to not spend it either Living or working towards Living.