Dubls Mans Up - AM6 i (1-5), ii (5-10)

[Shannon]

Stage 5, day 26

Well I was hoping for my last post to spark a conversation, but right now I need an outlet for how I'm feeling. Lately I've been talking about how it feels like I'm regressing in Stage 5. Well tonight is the worst yet. I'm feeling lonely, resentful (of my past and of others), undeserving, undesirable, and hopeless. And it's hitting me like a ton of bricks. I haven't felt like this since I started the program—WTF. It's like all the progress has been erased and my mind booted back to the old operating system. It's worse because I've tasted personal empowerment and I can feel the sting of its absence.

This is *****. What is going on?

First, I will explain some of how the stages are designed so it makes more sense for you what is happening.

Each stage includes what "stepping stones" are being worked on at that particular time. By having each stage work on different stepping stones, you can move things forward faster and more efficiently in the end without overwhelming the person. That's why we don't just offer the Stage 7 Refresher. It would save me weeks at least to just offer that, but it would not work nearly as well.

Now in some stages the combination of stepping stones will be more or less compatible with what you've already achieved and become good at. In those stages where it mostly matches what you've achieved, you see what feels like great results. When you are presented with something you're not yet good at, or still afraid to deal with, you experience what seems like a hard time. You're not regressing, but you are focusing in a direction that generates less ease and more challenge.

So in Stage 5, you need to work on something. When this happens, the worst thing you can do is do less hours. When the challenging stuff comes up, you want to do MORE hours, so you can grow faster. But really the best way forward is to do the same number of hours for each stage and each day. If you only focus on what you're already good at, you won't grow, and you won't fully achieve the end goal.

So what you're experiencing, basically, is that something is most likely scaring you subconsciously and your subconscious' response is, "Forget this! I'm going back to what was comfortable before."

The solution for you would seem to be, 12 hours+ a day, every day, and KEEP GOING.

Growth on this scale isn't easy, and it takes time. That's why not everyone who starts AM can make it through.