Disconnect from negativity within

[mat422]

So I started this sub about 3 days ago. Right now it's bringing up a lot of stuff that I need to accept and let go. Today especially I woke up feeling horrible, but instead of pushing myself to let it go and ignore it, I'm accepting it. It's not as simple as sitting down for an hour and meditating on it though. I'm guessing it's going to take at least a day of feeling really bad before these emotions are released and the beliefs along with it.

Resistance is really high. I keep thinking that I should just quit the sub and do it on my own, but I've been there before and I know that's just the ego fearing change. Overall I'd say I packed down a lot of emotions and bottled them up. This sub is opening up that bottle and releasing them. It's very overwhelming, but at the same time very cathartic.

I think the term letting go is very misleading. Having done the sedona method for a while a lot of the emphasis was on releasing. To release we have to accept, releasing is merely the byproduct of accepting. So instead of letting go I just put more emphasis on accepting. Although this sub disconnects from negativity, I feel you still have to accept whatever is brought up.

That's been my experience anyway. Detaching from negative emotions was more like suppression. It's one thing to accept them and let them go, but it's another thing to stuff them down, ignore them, then say they are released. I was very inauthentic with my emotions, I thought I had control of them when in reality I was escaping from them and not confronting them.

Then just one more thing. Subliminals are a touchy subject. Some people believe they aren't real change and the only real change can be done by yourself. I was this way for a while, thinking subliminals weren't right. But I've realized it's trust issues and the need to be in control. Think about it, you are directly altering the way your mind thinks, of course you would feel out of control. But I'd rather feel out of control and get better, than stay in my comfort zone and have my ego control me. There's a certain amount of pride you carry around when doing something by yourself, that pride can sometimes lead a person to shun subliminals and view them as a crutch or bandaid. I've learned that you should do what works for you and ignore those that insist on being negative.

[Spiral]

Nice post. I should seriously consider this sub before running the happiness and joy sub I purchased a couple months back.

[mat422]

Nice post. I should seriously consider this sub before running the happiness and joy sub I purchased a couple months back.

I'd say go with what your gut tells you. That's how I've been picking out subliminals lately. I think at a deep subconscious level we know exactly what the problem is, but it can only be communicated to us through a gut feeling. I personally felt that I needed to remove baggage, rather than introduce positive beliefs. But having said that I think this subliminal has a lot of potential for bringing up unresolved issues and allowing you to face them head on.

[Shannon]

Mat, one thing I'd like to point out is that some people would disagree with you that something must be accepted before it can be released, and that release is a by product of acceptance. It is that belief that has you accepting the emotions (which means the subliminal is working, because you're accepting them before letting go and freeing yourself of them) and getting this initial negative experience.

Understand that your issues are going to need whatever you need them to need before they can be released. In some cases, acceptance will be required. But that is not universal, and that meme can become a chain around your neck if you apply it to everything unthinkingly. It's little gotchas like these that we must watch for, because they can be detrimental instead of helpful if we're not careful. Likewise, I can't say whether it applies for you or not in each case, because I am not you. I just want you to see, and thus be able to deal with, that meme in the best possible way.

Our beliefs are our prison, or our liberation, depending on what they are. The truth is, all the prison bars are self inflicted by our own beliefs, and sometimes we hold them in place because they make us feel secure in their restrictions. But sometimes, we simply don't realize that "Hey - this is an illusion created as a result of my own accepted beliefs!"

Sounds like you're getting good results from the sub though.

[mat422]

Mat, one thing I'd like to point out is that some people would disagree with you that something must be accepted before it can be released, and that release is a by product of acceptance. It is that belief that has you accepting the emotions (which means the subliminal is working, because you're accepting them before letting go and freeing yourself of them) and getting this initial negative experience.

Understand that your issues are going to need whatever you need them to need before they can be released. In some cases, acceptance will be required. But that is not universal, and that meme can become a chain around your neck if you apply it to everything unthinkingly. It's little gotchas like these that we must watch for, because they can be detrimental instead of helpful if we're not careful. Likewise, I can't say whether it applies for you or not in each case, because I am not you. I just want you to see, and thus be able to deal with, that meme in the best possible way.

Our beliefs are our prison, or our liberation, depending on what they are. The truth is, all the prison bars are self inflicted by our own beliefs, and sometimes we hold them in place because they make us feel secure in their restrictions. But sometimes, we simply don't realize that "Hey - this is an illusion created as a result of my own accepted beliefs!"

Sounds like you're getting good results from the sub though.

Well Shannon ya got me lol. This is one of my flaws, I try to find universal things that connect, a one size fits all type of thing. What you said about holding onto beliefs to feel secure is 100 percent what I do. It's landed me into trouble more times than I can count in my life and perpetuates this need for control and understanding things.

You are right about this meme because when I think about it I really am putting restrictions on myself. I mean it's perfectly reasonable to detach from negative emotions without accepting them first, but it feels wrong and I know that's what holds me back.

This also makes me aware of something else. I try to deal with these negative emotions consciously, when I should just forget about it and let the subliminal take care of it. After all the subconscious mind is way more powerful. It's that control factor, I feel like I need to have control over my emotions or my negative beliefs and I try to achieve it through conscious means which just fails horribly. It's probably from my history of practicing mindfulness and buddhist teachings. While good, sometimes I just want everything to be on autopilot from having the right beliefs internalized.

Some days when I wake up and I don't feel good I feel like I should do something about it. Let it go, accept it, etc., but I'm starting to think I just control too much. I put too much pressure on myself and I just need to learn that I can't control all the time. Also that the subliminal is going to do it's job, regardless of my conscious involvement. In a way I guess I still have my doubts about subliminals and that prevents me from trusting them and knowing that everything will be ok. I think it's this mindset that hinders my growth because I'm afraid of going back to that dark place. I always feel like I'm one step ahead of that place and one mistake or bad day can cause me to come crashing back down into it and then I have to pull myself out again.

There's negativity inside of me and there are issues that need to be addressed. What it is, I don't know. But I do know life shouldn't be a constant struggle. If I'm still having struggles that means I've still got issues and I need to understand that. I feel like I try instead of just being and that's how I know something isn't right.

Just found this
http://blog.beliefnet.com/beyondblue/201...-work.html

What her doctor’s told her was when you are in the eye of a depressive episode, “distract, don’t think.”

When we’re really depressed, the mind is searching for things “to do” in order to get us out. However, this is a trap, especially when we’re really depressed. The harder we try, the more stuck we get.

Why?

Because it’s a set up.

The moment we’re reaching for mindfulness practices as a means to an end, as a means in that moment to feel better, get out of depression, or achieve calm, is the moment our minds develop the rule: “If I don’t see any relief come from this, then I am a failure, or there must be something wrong with me.”

It talks about medication, but if I substitute that medication for subliminals this all makes perfect sense in my case. I've found on the days that I'm really down just doing something that I enjoy is better than trying to sit down and meditate. I try too hard and I'm too hard on myself for something that is for the most part out of my control.

[mat422]

Ok so first day back to college. Still going to a community college for those that don't know. Anyway my biggest hurdle is always the anxiety I feel on the first day and sometimes the next few weeks. I am drained of energy right now, so dead inside. This is the one two punch I get with anxiety. First it's the anticipation and experiencing the event that gives me anxiety, then it's the burnout and frustration afterwards.

Having said that I believe that part of me identifies myself with my anxiety. I've had social anxiety since I was a kid, so I never felt I was me, I always felt as if I was the social anxiety. Now that is important because if social anxiety is me, then that means it's my fault and I'm a failure. I can see how this kind of thinking has eroded my self esteem over the years. Nobody ever told me as a kid that it was ok to have anxiety or it would be more of a stop being so afraid kind of thing. Teachers always said I was too quiet, parents, students, etc. I never even really told my parents until around senior year of high school and by then I was having a nervous breakdown because college scared me so much.

But I'm seeing social anxiety as a separate problem and not really who I am. After going through alpha male I made some drastic changes, but anxiety is one of those things that always haunted me and made me believe that the subliminal didn't do anything. I am an alpha male in my own way, but anxiety suppresses my full potential. It's hard to think of yourself as strong when something as simple as being on campus around people is enough to make you stressed or anxious.

Today I took some good away from the bad experience so at least I'm staying positive. Everything just becomes a thousand times more complicated when I've got this anxiety though especially when some class wants me to participate or do a presentation. Last time I tried to speak out in a class my heart started racing, my throat dried up, and speaking was something that was a monumental effort. I wish I knew why, probably on some deep level I still fear rejection or I'm really sensitive so my anxiety is a defense mechanism. As if college isn't enough work already, I've got issues that make a seemingly normal day to other people a nightmarish hell for me.

Keeping my hopes up though and putting my faith in this sub to give me some relief. Looking at this post maybe giving the social anxiety sub a try couldn't hurt. I've exhausted all my other options.

[mat422]

So I think the resistance has lowered a bit. I'm feeling a little better, it's a small shift, but I feel like the momentum is kind of building up in the sub now. It's been almost 2 weeks on the sub now and that seems to be the sweet spot for some reason.

I'll see were things go from here. But one of the things that really bothered me has gone away which is interesting. My negativity surrounding subliminals and feeling guilty for using them has vanished, with the aid of this sub. Social anxiety has lowered a bit and I'm able to kind of relax and not take things to seriously which is a nice change of pace. The biggest issue with anxiety is the fight or flight response. I tend to get overly aggressive and edgy because it's like a defense mechanism to protect myself. I get kind of paranoid and think up scenarios that aren't really likely, but I feel like I have to protect myself against.

Going through this sub just makes me realize that I'm glad I found these subliminals. I understand now that using subliminals is the most efficient way to put your mind to work. I might start meditating as well to aid the process. But what I really love about these is the ease of them. You don't have to focus or repeat affirmations to yourself, so making a habit out of just listening to them is really easy.

[mat422]

Stress out my ears right now. The second week of college is brutal because I need to get back into work mode which is very difficult, especially when I'm studying a subject that was required but I really didn't want to take.

The sub is still doing its job I guess. A bit more comfortable, but the social anxiety comes up and just stomps out all the progress at times. I'm trying to keep my head held high, not giving in to that negative side of me. I feel like it's pulling me down a little though. I feel like I'm fighting in a boxing match with my darker self and so far he's been knocking me around but I keep getting up.

People always say when life knocks you down, get back up. But life doesn't do that to you, it's mostly your attitude towards those events that spirals you down. Internal locus of control, realizing that you have control of your life and not letting things drag you down.

Just one more thing I've been pondering. In psychoanalysis or talk therapy the idea is that you get to the root of your issues and are relieved just by knowing them. Is knowing about your problem and cause enough? I honestly don't think so. I mean why would it? Maybe in some cases it could, but bad habits and mindsets of the subconscious mind are more like scripts running in the back of your head or a virus. That's how I see it. Bad beliefs are like a virus and when you have a virus you use software to remove it. You can't sit at the computer and say "well there's a virus and now that I know about it, it will take care of itself".

[Benjamin]

Nah it definately isn't enough. I've been aware of my issues for years and different causes of them but it wasn't enough, you still have to do something about it.

And also interestingly, with Matrix Reimprinting it's been very interesting the memories i've gone back to. Like a later memory that's effecting me seems hard to let go of, then I go back to earlier ones connected and am surprised what memories caused it. A few times they have been memories I would have never really remembered or if I did I would never work on it because I wouldn't have thought it would effect anything.

But awareness is a start anyway.

It may just be because i've been into this stuff for years, but i've never liked the idea of talk therapy, I talk to my friends about this stuff and it doesn't help. It also may be listening to Richard Bandler early on and how convincing he was, he called a therapist 'the rapist' and a psychologist 'psycho-ologist'.

But I have read that normal talk therapy can go on for years without resolving stuff, which is why I am into all this other stuff.

I'm listening to John Bradshaw's Homecoming at the moment. Interesting stuff.

Though i've just realized the way he talks is similar to a preacher who goes on about god. I'm glad he doesn't bring that into it though so far.

-Ben

[Benjamin]

Ahh listening to that homecoming stuff is doing my head in. It had people screaming and getting upset to deal with their childhood problems, and I could see myself in my head going "if I have to do that then i'm not gonna bother" and could see the moment I tried to repress it all. Because all those emotions seemed too much for me.

So much resistance to that, think I may just stick to Matrix Reimprinting.

[mat422]

John Bradshaw wrote that book about toxic shame right? Interesting concept and I think he was on to something, but his one mistake was not providing practical use to help yourself. That's what I really don't like about some books and other self help products, they say something like all your negative beliefs and faults were due to a traumatic event or bad parenting. Then they just stop there and you are still left with your problems.

[mat422]

I got a week left of the subliminal, then I'm done. I've felt a slight shift in the way I think and some things have improved. Right now I'm fighting off a cold which has just drained me of energy. I feel like the cold symbolizes all the negativity which I'm letting go of and it manifested itself into a form of illness which my body is purging. I'm not sure if that is possible, but I have been experiencing a lot of stress due to the new semester of college starting. It could be that too.

[mat422]

Things are still coming up and I've been having a rough time. I had a weird dream last night. Basically I was surrounded by zombies and I kept running away because I was afraid. Eventually I said I had to face my fears and no more running. The interesting thing is I didn't fight back I just stood there and let them surround me. Then they tore me to pieces. When I think about it it makes sense. I hide my issues really well from myself but certain days when I can't keep up all hell breaks loose. It's like when I acknowledge these problems and issues I feel defeated, I have nowhere to go and things seem hopeless, like I'm being torn apart.

I've just been thinking about subliminals the past few days and the difference between that and just meditating on problems. It got me thinking about the present moment and how all we really experience is in the now. Then I started wondering if negative events in my life really changed me and if I uncovered these events I would somehow gain catharsis. I don't think finding these repressed memories will unlock your freedom or purge you of negative beliefs. If anything it's just our current thought patterns and beliefs we have in the present moment. So it makes sense that subliminals really are the most effective way to rewrite that script that is playing in your head. All it is is just neuropathways firing in a certain way that you have grown accustomed to over the years. It's just a matter of rerouting those neuropathways and constructing a new more positive habit to replace the bad old one.

[mat422]

I've definitely gotten results from this subliminal. I remember in the beginning I felt like it wasn't doing anything, but gradually things shifted. My thinking changed, my attitude changed, and I feel like I have let go of some things that have been weighing me down for a while now. It's all very subtle. So subtle that you would think that you did it all on your own without the subliminal. But the subliminal really did fuel my growth. It was a combination of me working hard consciously and the subliminal working equally as hard subconsciously. I feel like some subconscious aspects were brought to my conscious attention and that allowed me to see the why, which allowed me to let go of it.

Something interesting I'm learning in one of my college classes is about the scientific method. They generally say testimonials from individuals are biased and inconclusive because human emotions get in the way. While I agree in some respect, I also don't like how they just negate the importance of testimonials. I've learned that change can be slow, almost imperceptible to the conscious mind which causes you to believe that nothing has changed and you have always been this way. I'd say that subliminals work, but I'm sure science would want to disagree. Sometimes I get upset when people put down subliminals as a form of placebo. Our minds are perfectly capable of processing information in a variety of ways so why not subliminals?