Detox Ain't A Rental: myth on UD

[myth]

Self optimizing polymorphic scripting causes the subliminal to become what you need it to be to achieve the goal. If the goal is the same, but the starting point is vastly different between users, the results can seem to be an entirely different sub for different people. In this case, everyone has a completely unique "intoxication state" to begin with. The mind, emotions, etc. are not going to be identical in their levels, directions, degrees and types of "intoxication", so the sub becomes something very different for each of you to achieve the same goal.

For example, if person A has severe sexual abuse that led to a series of beliefs being formed that were toxic concerning sex, relationships and one particular gender, and person B had a father who beat him and the result was that he becomes abusive to himself and others, then UD will be primarily a sexual healing and clearing sub for person A, and an abuse healing and clearing sub for person B.

That's very much the impression that I'd been getting while comparing my own experiences with the other UD journals. This certainly explains why.

This is the beauty of SOPS - Self Optimizing Polymorphic Scripting.

Creating that scripting, however, is a freaking nightmare.

That "freaking nightmare" resulted in a work of art that I feel honored to experience. Thanking you seems like an insufficient gesture, but, until I find a better way of putting it, thank you, Shannon, for your continued efforts to improve the world and all who dwell upon her.

[Benjamin]

Wow.. there isn't many posts or journals on UD yet, but from what i'm reading lately it may be beneficial for the description of it to be expanded.

Because I read the description of it and it doesn't really do much for me. But reading the experience of both Myth and Findingme it sounds like just what i'm looking for to expand on healing i've been doing.

I was likely going in a whole different direction, but i'm reconsidering that for UD after my break from DMSI.

Specifically things like this

There's a very you-can't-escape-or-hide-from-your-innermost-self quality to it.

and what Findingme said about it digging under his social masks, both those things go along with the direction i'm going in.

It's likely the word 'detox' and what that means in my mind doesn't match at all what is being reported. And in this case it's a good thing that it isn't matching.

Interesting sidenote, what you wrote Myth in post 10 to me is a testimonial that gets me interested. But i'm not sure if it would apply in general in testimonials as others it might scare off. What do you think Shannon?

[Shannon]

Testimonials are supposed to be honest statements from users that make you want to buy the program. #10 does not result in me wanting to buy the program.

Myth, one thing I'd like to say is that what I put on the description page for UD isn't what I think you all need to detox, it's an effort to give examples of what is going to be common for people who use the program. It's very much a case of everyone will have something different, so there's no other way to describe it.

[myth]

Myth, one thing I'd like to say is that what I put on the description page for UD isn't what I think you all need to detox, it's an effort to give examples of what is going to be common for people who use the program. It's very much a case of everyone will have something different, so there's no other way to describe it.

Thanks for the clarification, although I think that you may have misunderstood me when I'd said:

It seems as if it's not very much about which bullet points Shannon thinks that we all need to detox and almost entirely about what my (metaphorical) heart needs to detox.

To clarify in return, I hadn't been referring to the product page descriptions at all, nor do I recall ever having referenced product page descriptions before this sentence. I was referring to the fact that a subliminal script is understood to be a series of suggestions that may be general, specific, or anywhere in between. The above quote had simply meant that my experiences on UD seemed to imply fewer specific pre-built bullet point suggestions in the script (as compared to your other subs) and more general (albeit still very complex) suggestions that tasked my subconscious with building its own bullet points. Which, if I understand your explanation correctly, appears to be the case.

[Benjamin]

Testimonials are supposed to be honest statements from users that make you want to buy the program. #10 does not result in me wanting to buy the program.

Yeah makes sense, maybe i'm warped but that post made me want to buy the program haha.

But that's coming from the understanding of what it's doing, people who aren't aware of that it wouldn't so much.

[myth]

So far, the current week is proceeding more smoothly than the previous input week. Might be a natural trough, though, as sub work does tend to cycle. Or maybe I'll get more forward movement as my toxic anchors fall away. I have no idea.

I think that I may now see a version of what findingme was talking about with respect to masks and lying to oneself. I'm starting to call myself out on my self-justified excuses, even when they "sound" perfectly valid and reasonable. I did so yesterday, before making a decision based on one. I took a step back, asked myself if I was overcorrecting, and noticed that I was about to make a current decision based on past disappointments, assumptions, and fear (with which my head was pessimistically filling the data gaps automatically, as it always has) rather than on currently available information (letting the gaps remain empty until filled with actual follow-up information that I could trust). And seeing that allowed me to make a different decision with absolutely no internal struggle over it. If anything, I felt a slight thrill in knowingly choosing something by available fact rather than by rationalized (experientially fallacious) fantasy. It almost felt as if I'd put on a pair of glasses that allowed me to see the distinction between reality and imagination when the lines got too blurry to tell the two apart (or where reality ends and imaginative embellishment begins).

If this continues, I see inherent potential toward reducing fear and procrastination, not letting me hide behind reasons that only look like reasons.

[myth]

Not very much to say right now. As I've said, input weeks on later 5.5G subs tend to result in less immediate execution from me.

Physical detox is still coming along, and seems to be getting some of the support from UD that I'd hoped to see, including reduced stress. I'd originally been nourishing liver, kidney, spleen, and gall bladder while still on DMSI, but adding thyroid and pancreas support early into UD seems to be helping. My eight physical detox gauges are all humming along in the right direction. If this keeps up, I hope to return to DMSI 3.1 within a month or two, as planned.

While I'm taking a different path on this sub than I'd expected, I don't seem to be missing my intended mark. If E2 had me metaphorically unraveling a ball of string to repair myself, UD feels more like I'm repairing a degraded latticework or darning a sock. The repair feels very multi-threaded, which may explain the scattered thinking that keeps disorienting me: my focus is more accustomed to serial forking than to multi-tasking.

[myth]

Haven't posted observations in over a week, since they aren't the rah-rah stuff that people want to hear. I'll try to summarize the major points.

As a very abbreviated version of my most recent private journal entries:

• Parallel-processing toxins, while holistically logical (especially physically), makes me feel like a triple-booked toxin hotel and a toxin to others, saturating every free resource with darkness and leaving no room for light. It feels like training myself to feel overly toxic, not parallel-detoxed.
  
• I'd rather only serial-process darkness or keep the number of parallel threads low enough to allow light in, especially where and when needed.
  
• Seems as if negatives are invited in to be asked to leave and positives are turned away at the gate because they're more welcome. Unideal.
  
• It feels as if my only detox options are numbness, patience, and self-hating my toxins into leaving. Like positives are being denied entry, even to fight the battles with me. Like the toxins are expected to defeat themselves single-sidedly because the battlefield is at max capacity.
  
• As internal toxins seem barely dissociated from self, self-hating them into leaving feels like a toxin. This seems likely to lead me in circles or to create a stalemate situation. Secondarily, I'm not thrilled about the increased self-hatred.
  
• It feels like I'm being forced to choose hate as a tool by being denied access to other tools. And that's not how I operate. Or how I want to.
  
• Optimism, hope, trust, etc are feeling just as self-dishonest as pessimism, doubt, cynicism, and so on feel. They're all equally imaginary. Plus, with the former group being positives (not toxins), they're feeling even less focally important than the negatives.
  
• Re-framing currently seems like self-dishonesty, designed to make myself feel better, so "maybe if I look at it like..." (which I've done for years, often unaided) is beginning to be discarded as trying to con myself.
  
• While I'm getting less worried about the worst-case scenarios in life, I'm giving up on the best-case scenarios too. Previously, I saw possibilities. Now, I'm starting to consider possibility as unverified, untrustworthy, and deceitful.
  

I'm not entirely certain that UD and I are meshing well, not that this should surprise anyone who's read most of my entries in this thread. As others aren't reporting anything similar, I attribute these results to my own inferences and reactions, not to UD itself.

Yeah, I can keep going on UD without fearing it, and it's certainly a powerful program, but I'm finding very little sense in me choosing to continue. For me, the visible downsides keep outnumbering any visible upsides. I don't want to keep feeling like I'm training myself to hate myself (instead of repair myself), with my own worst qualities as the excuse to do so, and I don't want to deny hope and optimism solely for being presumptive concepts. I also don't want to learn to justify hate or destruction of all external irritants (humans included) while on some anti-toxic crusade. Those aren't my detoxing goals and never were. Unless these are somehow growing pains, with an endgame that isn't straightforward enough to see from 12 moves behind, I'm thinking that UD may be something more appropriate for a different me than I am in September of 2017.