06-19-2017, 10:15 PM
Well, shit, I have made mistakes in running DMSI.
First night I totally forgot about running it during the sleep. Second night, I forgot to turn on the power on! Man, what a shame. Well, I'll try to run it from tonight.
Either way I noticed that my attraction to girls have widened? Let me try to explain this.
Tonight while I was watching news (I normally watch several different ones, trying to make myself have more balanced point of view. Also, because of my study, it is somewhat necessary that I need to be on top of the current affairs), I noticed that female reporters and anchors were more attractive today than usual. Nothing was different about them, but I noticed that the attractive ones were more attractive and the ones who were on the borderline, was on the area of being attractive.
I also noticed something interesting today. I went for lunch and saw a few attractive girls. I was imagining what it would be like to have sex with them (for each, one by them, not at all once), the types of noises they will make, how they will look in pleasure/orgasm, and etc. It was interesting that normally I wasn't able to do that with the girls in real life. I also normally don't do such things. It was also interesting that it was automatic. I didn't conscious try to imagine such things, but I just did ti...... Additionally, I also did that with a girl who was the most attractive one in there, but who also had a boyfriend (she was having a lunch with him). I'm slightly feeling guilty for doing that, and I am a bit afraid/nervous of what this means.
I don't know if this was DMSI, or my not masturbating for a while. (I think it has been another week or so. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, but I have reduced the frequency of masturbating, but I noticed that there are times when it is more intense that I fap more often and there are other periods that I don't. So for 2~3 days I may masturbate everyday, and after that, I may stop doing that for entirely for a week or another few days. During these abstinent times, I don't even have desire to watch porno extensively.) But I think that I am becoming more connected to real world in terms of attraction and women. The girls were real ,only to certain extent, as they are nobody and strangers with whom I have absolutely no connections with. Still, they are much more real than the girls I see on internet, so I say it's an improvement.
If this is DMSI doing, not my abstinent and building up sexual energy, I'd say that I'm still drifting (healing and getting my inner stuff more sorted out) even after I have been off from DMSI for more than a month. (I suppose it could be nearly 2 month from stopping A version, so that could mean even more things.)
I think that I may run DMSI only once per a few days or two days until my mom leaves. Well, I'm afraid that building too much sexual energy while having absolutely zero chance of having sex due to logistical reason (mom staying at home) may have more negative impact than positives. On the other hand, I want to start building it up or priming it up for the time when there are more opportunities. Hence the reason for resuming DMSI but not fully committing it yet.
First night I totally forgot about running it during the sleep. Second night, I forgot to turn on the power on! Man, what a shame. Well, I'll try to run it from tonight.
Either way I noticed that my attraction to girls have widened? Let me try to explain this.
Tonight while I was watching news (I normally watch several different ones, trying to make myself have more balanced point of view. Also, because of my study, it is somewhat necessary that I need to be on top of the current affairs), I noticed that female reporters and anchors were more attractive today than usual. Nothing was different about them, but I noticed that the attractive ones were more attractive and the ones who were on the borderline, was on the area of being attractive.
I also noticed something interesting today. I went for lunch and saw a few attractive girls. I was imagining what it would be like to have sex with them (for each, one by them, not at all once), the types of noises they will make, how they will look in pleasure/orgasm, and etc. It was interesting that normally I wasn't able to do that with the girls in real life. I also normally don't do such things. It was also interesting that it was automatic. I didn't conscious try to imagine such things, but I just did ti...... Additionally, I also did that with a girl who was the most attractive one in there, but who also had a boyfriend (she was having a lunch with him). I'm slightly feeling guilty for doing that, and I am a bit afraid/nervous of what this means.
I don't know if this was DMSI, or my not masturbating for a while. (I think it has been another week or so. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, but I have reduced the frequency of masturbating, but I noticed that there are times when it is more intense that I fap more often and there are other periods that I don't. So for 2~3 days I may masturbate everyday, and after that, I may stop doing that for entirely for a week or another few days. During these abstinent times, I don't even have desire to watch porno extensively.) But I think that I am becoming more connected to real world in terms of attraction and women. The girls were real ,only to certain extent, as they are nobody and strangers with whom I have absolutely no connections with. Still, they are much more real than the girls I see on internet, so I say it's an improvement.
If this is DMSI doing, not my abstinent and building up sexual energy, I'd say that I'm still drifting (healing and getting my inner stuff more sorted out) even after I have been off from DMSI for more than a month. (I suppose it could be nearly 2 month from stopping A version, so that could mean even more things.)
I think that I may run DMSI only once per a few days or two days until my mom leaves. Well, I'm afraid that building too much sexual energy while having absolutely zero chance of having sex due to logistical reason (mom staying at home) may have more negative impact than positives. On the other hand, I want to start building it up or priming it up for the time when there are more opportunities. Hence the reason for resuming DMSI but not fully committing it yet.
