05-09-2017, 08:15 PM
Long time no updating the journal. Damn, this month has been crazy with classes and assignments. But, I am done with all the classes. I now have a capstone requirement to finish before getting that Master's degree.
I also have to mention that I stopped listening DMSI for a little bit over a week, as I thought I needed to focus my energy for studying. No energy to be diverted for sex. Well, I think it was a good decision as I only slept on average for about 3 hours per night during the last week. I miss the times when I could stay up 2 nights in a row without suffering much cognitive ability loss. From a year ago, I find that I can no longer do that.
Anyway, being off the DMSI for a week made me realize a few things.
1. I found that I had much easier time to focus on doing academic works. I think it had to do with diverting energy, or trying to shift focus from studying to sex thing.
2. When I was off DMSI, I had lost much need for masturbation or feeling agitated for not getting sex. This version of DMSI seems to have filled my sexual energy pool too much and that there was a constant need for release. It's like my bowl of sexual energy was going to explode (or overflow) that it was constantly required to be emptied. Given that I still suck at getting a girl (getting laid) and also that I don't know how to get a girl, masturbation was like the only way to release. So in a way, being off DMSI was a comfortable experience, as I didn't feel all the need to release, or feeling agitated while feeling the need to release, and not knowing how to quite deal with it.
3. The masturbation experience was also odd while being on DMSI. The release felt good, but also felt terrible. Also it was very difficult to release, not getting aroused by porn or etc. It also had some impact on my mental state/mind. It wasn't making me depressed or anything, but I think it was constantly creating a pressure to have sex with a girl, and the need and want to release sexual energy through having sex, not through masturbation. I suppose even without DMSI, masturbation led to some of this feeling, but I think it was much more pronounced when I was on DMSI 3.1 version, especially B for some reason.
4. I think I am more open for different acts of sex than before. Like for instance, I think I am getting more aroused, and more curious about group sex. This was not my thing before.
5. I am also finding that my standards are becoming lower. I am starting to find women whom I would have thought unattractive now attractive and attractive enough for sex. Also, let's say that I had other category of requirement for girls to be in a relationship with me or having sex (like being super smart), I am finding that my requirement/standard for this is becoming more lenient. Rather, let's say that I am more easily satisfied. For instance, if super smart was a must, now it isn't a must, it can be substituted with being artistic and good in a form of art (like music, drawing, or etc.) Also, I think I am now placing more importance on the traits and characteristics on a girl.
This is what I noticed so far.
I also have to mention that I stopped listening DMSI for a little bit over a week, as I thought I needed to focus my energy for studying. No energy to be diverted for sex. Well, I think it was a good decision as I only slept on average for about 3 hours per night during the last week. I miss the times when I could stay up 2 nights in a row without suffering much cognitive ability loss. From a year ago, I find that I can no longer do that.
Anyway, being off the DMSI for a week made me realize a few things.
1. I found that I had much easier time to focus on doing academic works. I think it had to do with diverting energy, or trying to shift focus from studying to sex thing.
2. When I was off DMSI, I had lost much need for masturbation or feeling agitated for not getting sex. This version of DMSI seems to have filled my sexual energy pool too much and that there was a constant need for release. It's like my bowl of sexual energy was going to explode (or overflow) that it was constantly required to be emptied. Given that I still suck at getting a girl (getting laid) and also that I don't know how to get a girl, masturbation was like the only way to release. So in a way, being off DMSI was a comfortable experience, as I didn't feel all the need to release, or feeling agitated while feeling the need to release, and not knowing how to quite deal with it.
3. The masturbation experience was also odd while being on DMSI. The release felt good, but also felt terrible. Also it was very difficult to release, not getting aroused by porn or etc. It also had some impact on my mental state/mind. It wasn't making me depressed or anything, but I think it was constantly creating a pressure to have sex with a girl, and the need and want to release sexual energy through having sex, not through masturbation. I suppose even without DMSI, masturbation led to some of this feeling, but I think it was much more pronounced when I was on DMSI 3.1 version, especially B for some reason.
4. I think I am more open for different acts of sex than before. Like for instance, I think I am getting more aroused, and more curious about group sex. This was not my thing before.
5. I am also finding that my standards are becoming lower. I am starting to find women whom I would have thought unattractive now attractive and attractive enough for sex. Also, let's say that I had other category of requirement for girls to be in a relationship with me or having sex (like being super smart), I am finding that my requirement/standard for this is becoming more lenient. Rather, let's say that I am more easily satisfied. For instance, if super smart was a must, now it isn't a must, it can be substituted with being artistic and good in a form of art (like music, drawing, or etc.) Also, I think I am now placing more importance on the traits and characteristics on a girl.
This is what I noticed so far.
