DMSI v3.0.1

[Steven]

Shannon,

There were 2 other notable responses that happened.

I was at a shop looking at shirts since the spring items are being stocked. A woman who worked there asked if she could help. I asked what I thought was a simple question. I asked when all their winter items that were still in stock were going on sale. She narrowed her eyes, crossed her arms, and with a stern tone of voice said, "What do you mean?"

I said that often when companies start getting spring items in, they want to sell as much winter inventory as possible. So if their company had that practice, I was wondering when their sale might be. She broke eye contact with me by turning away from me to face and look at the register. And she loudly mumbled "That should be mid January."

I left to look at more shirts in another area. Within a minute, she came into that area to hang up some shirts near me and asked if I needed any help. I mentioned what I was looking for and as I was talking and she was standing there, within 15 seconds she turned beet red, crossed her feet about 12 inches, and crossed her arms. She started commenting on what I was saying but it was clear from her comments and tone of voice (which sounded a bit stern) that her words made it sound like she was agreeing with me but her tone of voice sounded like one of disagreement.

I thanked her and went back to my shopping because I didn't really feel like talking with her.

It was odd that even though she looked REALLY attractive. This is the type of women most men fantasize about. I mean as in so hot she was smoking. I just felt no physical reaction in my body. No desire to talk with her. Even if she had thrown herself at me, I probably would have said "not now, but maybe we can talk later."

I feel like I'm in a very strange land without a map or GPS.

The other notable response was a woman who seemed to be girlfanning when I stopped by or even walked by her area, now she doesn't seem to even recognize me.

[RisingSon]

OK, fine. I'll volunteer a comment.

Feminism. She has a fractured psyche princess complex and is sexually repressed/undeveloped/unnatural. I wrote about this a little in the DMSI thread. Very conflicted as the majority of women are these days. A beauty, but only in image and pretense. Her incompetence was embarrassing you and I would have told her so.

"Uhhh... can you not be so creepy?"

"Wtf is your deal?"

"Where is your manager?"

"I want a discount because I feel uncomfortable."

"Ruuuuuuuuuuuude."

Hahaha. Ah, man when I am on DMSI I am going to push boundaries so far and see what I can get away with.
Then again I'm surrounded by quaint respectful rural folk and not the snobby impersonal city type so this is a completely hypothetical scenario on my part.

[Darkness]

Risingson your impishness makes me chuckle

[bits]

It sounds like a push/pull affect from an unbalanced aura, a few had similar problems during sm3 and wm2 that eventually correct themselves. The women are attracted, but also somewhat repelled and they don't know how to process it. It might also be a case of value-mismatch where they don't think they stand a chance with you. I've seen this with female friends before swiping on tinder

"oh wow he's hot"
"omg he's a doctor too"
"woah what a killer smile"
"omg omg hes too good for me"
*frantically swipes left*

You can easily see this with girls who are below average and know it, they'll reject every guy before he has a chance to reject her. Same thing can happen with more attractive women especially if they were an "ugly/average duckling" growing up and didn't become hot until later it just operates on a more attractive scale.

[Steven]

In regards to the reactions you're getting, it kind of reminds me of the pheromone aqua vitae, which works great for some guys but for others it puts you way too high status without enough comfort and you see odd behavior like what you're noticing.

In the meantime really I think the only solution is to verbally make yourself more friendly and down to earth.

@bits

Thank you again!

I've been thinking about this post you wrote. I think your comparison with aqua vitae is a good one. I've noticed sometimes when I've worn aqua vitae in the past, I've wondered why they look so conflicted and I bet you're right about it being from the status and her wanting to pursue (but being used to being pursued).

As for the verbally more friendly and down to earth, could you comment on that more? I know to leave the $5 words out of the conversation, but if you have any more input, I'd definitely appreciate it.

[Steven]

She has a fractured psyche

@RisingSon

I think you bring up a good point in that what I think I was seeing was an inner conflict. She was aroused yet uncertain how to process it. Like she was trying to get control of herself when she felt out of control.

[Have at ye]

She has a fractured psyche

@RisingSon

I think you bring up a good point in that what I think I was seeing was an inner conflict. She was aroused yet uncertain how to process it. Like she was trying to get control of herself when she felt out of control.

I've noticed this happening too, and it seems to be especially discomforting to happily-married women, or at least women who consider marital virtue as something important to them, and strict-Catholic ones, of whom I know plenty due to my geographical location. In my case, they usually give signals and body language indicating that they are very, very aroused, and really, really scared of the fact - which makes it look like they're seriously afraid of me (and of what they might find themselves doing when we happen to be alone, one-on-one and with sufficient privacy ). Interestingly enough, the reactions indicative of fear usually pass with time and exposure to my presence.

The 3.0.1 aura, in contrast to the previous iterations of DMSI, seems to be making them unwilling to engage in avoidant behavior, too.

[Steven]

It sounds like a push/pull affect from an unbalanced aura, a few had similar problems during sm3 and wm2 that eventually correct themselves. The women are attracted, but also somewhat repelled and they don't know how to process it. It might also be a case of value-mismatch where they don't think they stand a chance with you. I've seen this with female friends before swiping on tinder

@bits

This is a great insight!

I've wondered if a few times I've gotten the "I'm going to reject him before he rejects me" kind of reaction. The thing is, I wasn't thinking of rejecting them before they started acting like that. I'm just shopping, or talking, or minding my business.

There was even a time I walked into a store and the women mobbed me. They all started being very disrespectful to me. I'm not talking about playful banter. It was almost like they were doing tag team. One would stop and another would take over. I just brushed it off but what astounded me is treating a customer like that is odd. As much as I'd like to think it was a group **** test because they were so overwhelmed with attraction, I just don't know.

I've also been getting my compliments rejected more. I'm not talking about acting shy or nonchalant about it. Some respond by angrily dismissing them. Others by scowling at me.

This has been a very strange month.

[Steven]

they usually give signals and body language indicating that they are very, very aroused, and really, really scared of the fact - which makes it look like they're seriously afraid of me

Interestingly enough, the reactions indicative of fear usually pass with time and exposure to my presence.

The 3.0.1 aura, in contrast to the previous iterations of DMSI, seems to be making them unwilling to engage in avoidant behavior, too.

@Have at ye

This makes a lot of sense! It would also make sense about the fear passing because that woman (when I was shopping for shirts) approached me after her first interaction with me. Perhaps "her fear was passing" and she was "unwilling to engage in avoidant behavior"... perhaps she was also curious about her reaction.

It does feel so odd to be having a conversation with someone who is obviously barely listening to me. Yet she seems so willing to be around me. I'm just not used to that. I'm used to the conversations.

You know, regarding that "unwilling to engage in avoidant behavior"... now that I think about it.... even that woman who went to that area for employees only and screamed, she came back out again to the area I was. In a sense, she re-engaged with me. The store was big so she could have gone some where else, but she came back to where I was.

Hey, @bits would you please chime in here? I think you would have more good insights to add.

[bits]

In regards to the reactions you're getting, it kind of reminds me of the pheromone aqua vitae, which works great for some guys but for others it puts you way too high status without enough comfort and you see odd behavior like what you're noticing.

In the meantime really I think the only solution is to verbally make yourself more friendly and down to earth.

@bits

Thank you again!

I've been thinking about this post you wrote. I think your comparison with aqua vitae is a good one. I've noticed sometimes when I've worn aqua vitae in the past, I've wondered why they look so conflicted and I bet you're right about it being from the status and her wanting to pursue (but being used to being pursued).

As for the verbally more friendly and down to earth, could you comment on that more? I know to leave the $5 words out of the conversation, but if you have any more input, I'd definitely appreciate it.

Yea AV is notorious for that push/pull and status effect.

As for being more friendly I think it's kind of hard to put in text but you basically want to be the opposite of aloof. You don't want to force a smile but you can kind of tell when people are in a good mood even if their facial expression is flat, to get myself there I just think about funny standup routines, scenes from movies, or times in the past where I was laughing too hard for whatever reason.

As for actual conversation you'll need to do most of the initial talking but at the same time keep it light since people tend to get in their heads and introverted when they deal with people they're attracted to or that they view as higher status. You don't want to go full Ned Flanders, but you just need to tone down the James Bond. Even if you don't feel like Bond, people are perceiving you as Bond.

The best way to learn it may be by going on youtube and looking up interviews of mega celebs with people who don't usually interview them. Somebody like Jimmy Kimmel isn't going to be intimidated by Brad Pitt but if he were to go to Atlanta for a charity fundraiser the local news anchor probably would be a little intimidated. Celebs like Pitt have seen it hundreds of times and know how to calibrate in the moment to make those interviewers who don't usually talk to big names more comfortable. It's a subtle shift but if you look for it you can observe and pickup the vibe from it.

[Shannon]

She has a fractured psyche

@RisingSon

I think you bring up a good point in that what I think I was seeing was an inner conflict. She was aroused yet uncertain how to process it. Like she was trying to get control of herself when she felt out of control.

A lot of times, women who are "smoking hot" base their self identity on this fact and the ego gratification they get from the responses of others. If you come along and slap a woman who is used to "always being the hottest one in sight" with a calm, factual, completely natural "I'm simply hotter, and that's just the way it is" body language communication, she's probably going to take it hard.

The more gobsmacked they get, the more you end up generating arousal and interest with such women. I would bet your lack of interest was the autopilot steering you to "being irresistibly sexually attractive" to her by doing what would naturally trigger that reaction in her: displaying value that left hers "in the dust".

Here's a secret. The wealthiest people are frequently the most miserly. Salespeople learn this... so people who are looking for coupons, discounts and sales always fall into the "very low" or "very high" income levels. I saw this a lot as a salesman for multiple companies. We would have guys stroll in with the "I own the world" attitude, and ask for sales, coupons, discounts and favors on everything, even though the total bill was $30 and they were (I was later informed) inevitably millionaires and multi-millionaires.

Salespeople, and especially hot women, are very keenly aware of social status by body language, attitude and actions. That's how you know who to focus on when it comes to making more sales. That's how gold diggers know who to focus on... and sad to say, women seem to be more likely to be gold diggers the hotter they get.

So it's possible that you encountered a stunner who was in possession of a fragile ego and you told her she was beneath you without even knowing it... which is exactly how a genuinely super-high value man would do it. And then you asked about sales, which triggered the "This guy must be rich!" script... and the likely end result was that you effectively "fluster-f*cked" her. She wasn't in control, and she couldn't find a way to gain control. Or attention. Or stop her responses to you... which may very well have included serious sexual arousal.

[RisingSon]

Simply awesome and subtle. I would have been too hard on her, I'm such a jerk. Oh well. leepy:

[Steven]

@bits

I wanted to take time to thoughtfully consider your post.

I always appreciate your insightful, thoughtful, and comprehensive answers! Thank you!

Being the opposite of aloof... could you say a bit more about that. That "being aloof" has been dogma that's been drilled into our heads for years by "experts".

Being in a good mood is something I could do better because I often approach more to the neutral side.

Thinking about funny moments to get that state on the inside is a great concrete method!

I do need to do most of the initial talking and keep it light. That is spot on! I tend to want to ask more in depth questions because I want to know who I'm talking with. Although this has worked for me in the past, I now get these confused stares. So I think you're right that they are in their heads in an introverted way and feeling attracted to me or viewing as higher status, and I bet they are not used to that.

I need to tone down the James Bond. That again is spot on.

Looking up interviews of celebrities with people who don't usually interview such people is a great idea! I watched a few interviews with Brad Pitt, and think I have an idea of what you're talking about. His body language is relaxed, and from time to time he's self-effacing. He also is humble such as explaining what he does as hard work over talent. He accepts his praise by also talking about something he did that was naive on the way to his success. When ever someone tries to elevate him, he takes himself off that pedestal. Were there other things you think are examples of what he does?

[Steven]

A lot of times, women who are "smoking hot" base their self identity on this fact and the ego gratification they get from the responses of others. If you come along and slap a woman who is used to "always being the hottest one in sight" with a calm, factual, completely natural "I'm simply hotter, and that's just the way it is" body language communication, she's probably going to take it hard.

The more gobsmacked they get, the more you end up generating arousal and interest with such women. I would bet your lack of interest was the autopilot steering you to "being irresistibly sexually attractive" to her by doing what would naturally trigger that reaction in her: displaying value that left hers "in the dust".

Here's a secret. The wealthiest people are frequently the most miserly. Salespeople learn this... so people who are looking for coupons, discounts and sales always fall into the "very low" or "very high" income levels. I saw this a lot as a salesman for multiple companies. We would have guys stroll in with the "I own the world" attitude, and ask for sales, coupons, discounts and favors on everything, even though the total bill was $30 and they were (I was later informed) inevitably millionaires and multi-millionaires.

Salespeople, and especially hot women, are very keenly aware of social status by body language, attitude and actions. That's how you know who to focus on when it comes to making more sales. That's how gold diggers know who to focus on... and sad to say, women seem to be more likely to be gold diggers the hotter they get.

So it's possible that you encountered a stunner who was in possession of a fragile ego and you told her she was beneath you without even knowing it... which is exactly how a genuinely super-high value man would do it. And then you asked about sales, which triggered the "This guy must be rich!" script... and the likely end result was that you effectively "fluster-f*cked" her. She wasn't in control, and she couldn't find a way to gain control. Or attention. Or stop her responses to you... which may very well have included serious sexual arousal.

Shannon,

I was thinking about your reply and I think the analysis is EXCELLENT!

Thank you for taking the time to provide such a thorough, detailed, and comprehensive analysis. You also connected the dots at the end which when I first read it were not so obvious to me, as I still think that when a woman is acting odd around me, I start to wonder if she doesn't like me. But I think you are right on about if she's used to having her beauty awed and I don't, it probably will throw her for a loop.

I also think you are right on about my attitude. At no point did I stand there thinking I was better than her, but I was calm, cool, in control, unflappable, and unphased. I think that was autopilot at work because it's definitely a number of steps up from what I normally experience.

Although I think I'll add that since starting v3.0.1 I think I'm getting more of this “I ask simple questions and women get confused” phenomenon. “I see you have short sleeved shirts. Do you have long sleeved shirts in this color” or “I noticed you have this shirt in green. I don't see any in blue, but do you have it in blue” or “I'd like to see any accessories you sell here. Could you show me where they are”. Even if someone doesn't know, they should know enough to get the manager. Some just stare at me in silence. Then I start to wonder if she thinks I talking in Aequian.

I don't know if I had an “own the world” attitude. But I definitely was very centered.

“So it's possible that you encountered a stunner who was in possession of a fragile ego and you told her she was beneath you without even knowing it... which is exactly how a genuinely super-high value man would do it. And then you asked about sales, which triggered the "This guy must be rich!" script... and the likely end result was that you effectively "fluster-f*cked" her. She wasn't in control, and she couldn't find a way to gain control. Or attention. Or stop her responses to you... which may very well have included serious sexual arousal.”

I think that is a very definite possibility. Now I just have to convince myself I'm that sexy!