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[Blink]

Of course I can, especially when the desired outcome is the same.

It's like saying "will a shoe or a steak knife cut through this material better?" They may be different things, but the result you're considering them for is the same. It's no different with emotional states.

The desired outcome could be the same. But that doesn't mean that they are not different things, like the knife and the shoe. And thus they'd work in different ways (assuming that they work ), like the knife would cut a steak in a different way than the shoe. You're not gonna get the same clean cut with a shoe...

Also, hatred is not the strong absence of love, but the strong presence of hatred.

I'd classify these 2 statements as the same exact. It's called the law of polarity. If you believe in that kinda stuff, or interested, I'd say google it. It's pretty interesting to me at least.

EDIT: Oh and btw, I'm not advocating that you start generating love. If hatred's working for you, resonates better with you, or comes easier to you, who am I to stop you?

[SargeMaximus]

Of course I can, especially when the desired outcome is the same.

It's like saying "will a shoe or a steak knife cut through this material better?" They may be different things, but the result you're considering them for is the same. It's no different with emotional states.

The desired outcome could be the same. But that doesn't mean that they are not different things, like the knife and the shoe. And thus they'd work in different ways (assuming that they work ), like the knife would cut a steak in a different way than the shoe. You're not gonna get the same clean cut with a shoe...

That's exactly my point.

Calm and collected = shoe.

Also, hatred is not the strong absence of love, but the strong presence of hatred.

I'd classify these 2 statements as the same exact. It's called the law of polarity. If you believe in that kinda stuff, or interested, I'd say google it. It's pretty interesting to me at least.

I might check it out.

But I'm sure you agree that hatred can emerge from (or even because of) love in many cases.

[Blink]

That's exactly my point.

Calm and collected = shoe.

Probably not enough by itself, yes

But I'm sure you agree that hatred can emerge from (or even because of) love in many cases.

Agreed, just like the same way you get get full silence and outrageously loud noises with a volume knob. Reverse is also true.

[Duke.Togo]

Of course I can, especially when the desired outcome is the same.

It's like saying "will a shoe or a steak knife cut through this material better?" They may be different things, but the result you're considering them for is the same. It's no different with emotional states.

The desired outcome could be the same. But that doesn't mean that they are not different things, like the knife and the shoe. And thus they'd work in different ways (assuming that they work ), like the knife would cut a steak in a different way than the shoe. You're not gonna get the same clean cut with a shoe...

That's exactly my point.

Calm and collected = shoe.

Also, hatred is not the strong absence of love, but the strong presence of hatred.

I'd classify these 2 statements as the same exact. It's called the law of polarity. If you believe in that kinda stuff, or interested, I'd say google it. It's pretty interesting to me at least.

I might check it out.

But I'm sure you agree that hatred can emerge from (or even because of) love in many cases.

Not trying to jump in where I'm not welcome with an opinion, but this is an interesting debate. I think love and hate are different sides of the same coin.

The opposite of love isn't hate in my opinion, it's indifference. True indifference aimed towards someone is probably the cruelest action one human being can show to another.

And in the few instances in my life when I have showed indifference to a woman, I had emotionally destroyed them. Not proud of it, but I have seen the aftermath of my actions. It wasn't pretty.

[SargeMaximus]

Of course I can, especially when the desired outcome is the same.

It's like saying "will a shoe or a steak knife cut through this material better?" They may be different things, but the result you're considering them for is the same. It's no different with emotional states.

The desired outcome could be the same. But that doesn't mean that they are not different things, like the knife and the shoe. And thus they'd work in different ways (assuming that they work ), like the knife would cut a steak in a different way than the shoe. You're not gonna get the same clean cut with a shoe...

That's exactly my point.

Calm and collected = shoe.

Also, hatred is not the strong absence of love, but the strong presence of hatred.

I'd classify these 2 statements as the same exact. It's called the law of polarity. If you believe in that kinda stuff, or interested, I'd say google it. It's pretty interesting to me at least.

I might check it out.

But I'm sure you agree that hatred can emerge from (or even because of) love in many cases.

Not trying to jump in where I'm not welcome with an opinion, but this is an interesting debate. I think love and hate are different sides of the same coin.

The opposite of love isn't hate in my opinion, it's indifference. True indifference aimed towards someone is probably the cruelest action one human being can show to another.

And in the few instances in my life when I have showed indifference to a woman, I had emotionally destroyed them. Not proud of it, but I have seen the aftermath of my actions. It wasn't pretty.

Interesting. I know I'm already pretty indifferent, and most of my successes come from "darker" emotional states (i.e. The DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE :o lol) but I've not seen much in the way of "aftermath".

Can you elaborate on that?

[Duke.Togo]

Of course I can, especially when the desired outcome is the same.

It's like saying "will a shoe or a steak knife cut through this material better?" They may be different things, but the result you're considering them for is the same. It's no different with emotional states.

The desired outcome could be the same. But that doesn't mean that they are not different things, like the knife and the shoe. And thus they'd work in different ways (assuming that they work ), like the knife would cut a steak in a different way than the shoe. You're not gonna get the same clean cut with a shoe...

That's exactly my point.

Calm and collected = shoe.

Also, hatred is not the strong absence of love, but the strong presence of hatred.

I'd classify these 2 statements as the same exact. It's called the law of polarity. If you believe in that kinda stuff, or interested, I'd say google it. It's pretty interesting to me at least.

I might check it out.

But I'm sure you agree that hatred can emerge from (or even because of) love in many cases.

Not trying to jump in where I'm not welcome with an opinion, but this is an interesting debate. I think love and hate are different sides of the same coin.

The opposite of love isn't hate in my opinion, it's indifference. True indifference aimed towards someone is probably the cruelest action one human being can show to another.

And in the few instances in my life when I have showed indifference to a woman, I had emotionally destroyed them. Not proud of it, but I have seen the aftermath of my actions. It wasn't pretty.

Interesting. I know I'm already pretty indifferent, and most of my successes come from "darker" emotional states (i.e. The DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE :o lol) but I've not seen much in the way of "aftermath".

Can you elaborate on that?

I'm going back for this example. I was around 21 at the time and I was dating probably one of the most gorgeous girls in school. She had most men around her thumb, and it's true what they say, the more attractive the girl is the more insecure she is.

Anyway I had dated her for a few months and aside from having amazing sex, all we did was fight. She was pretty high maintenance and she was one of the first relationships I had since my previous gf passed. I just got to a point where nothing she did mattered to me.

In the end I slept with some other girl and then broke up with her. When she asked me why I did what I did, I just remember how calm and detached I was, and I told her that I did it because I didn't feel anything for her anymore.

She was angry and emotional and I had nothing. No regret or sympathy. And she saw that on my face I'm sure. I was just completely indifferent to her.

It didn't help that all of this happened on Christmas morning and she showed up at my doorstep while the other girl was there (she had stayed over from the night before).

She fell apart not long after - drugs and drinking binges. She put on a lot of weight. She did all these things to basically destroy herself, almost in an effort to validate my lack of feelings for her.

She ended up in a rehab center at some point over the next year and many of the people who knew both of us held me responsible. There was a lot of fallout. She told our mutual friends that she just wanted me back. They told me to go talk to her and salvage it in an effort to at least help her out of the downward spiral she was in.

I didn't, I wouldn't. Eventually most of those people stopped speaking to me and eventually she came out of her tailspin, though it took her a long while.

In the end, that experience broke something inside of me actually, because that feeling of indifference became more prominent with several women I had dated into my late 20's and even my 30's.

Looking back, there were a lot of women I hurt really badly, because for a lot of them it went beyond just sex. They got their emotions involved and said they loved me. And I didn't see them as anything more than a hole to bang and a distraction.

So, yeah, indifference will break a woman. Because I think women want to be the one that breaks through the barrier. It becomes a project for them. And so they get invested, at some point beyond their controls. And that's when it falls apart for them.

[Shannon]

I have come, through my experience and experiments, to believe that the opposite of love is fear which ultimately spawns the rest of the negative emotions in almost all cases...

[Duke.Togo]

I have come, through my experience and experiments, to believe that the opposite of love is fear which ultimately spawns the rest of the negative emotions in almost all cases...

I don't disagree. Everything that happened with my relationships and how I view love or commitment, happened after my gf died. Her death definitely shaped me into a cold bastard, and someone that she never could love now had she still been alive.

And I became that person because I never wanted to feel the pain of losing someone I loved to a violent death.

So yes, it definitely stems from fear. I agree wholeheartedly.

[SargeMaximus]

The desired outcome could be the same. But that doesn't mean that they are not different things, like the knife and the shoe. And thus they'd work in different ways (assuming that they work ), like the knife would cut a steak in a different way than the shoe. You're not gonna get the same clean cut with a shoe...

That's exactly my point.

Calm and collected = shoe.

I'd classify these 2 statements as the same exact. It's called the law of polarity. If you believe in that kinda stuff, or interested, I'd say google it. It's pretty interesting to me at least.

I might check it out.

But I'm sure you agree that hatred can emerge from (or even because of) love in many cases.

Not trying to jump in where I'm not welcome with an opinion, but this is an interesting debate. I think love and hate are different sides of the same coin.

The opposite of love isn't hate in my opinion, it's indifference. True indifference aimed towards someone is probably the cruelest action one human being can show to another.

And in the few instances in my life when I have showed indifference to a woman, I had emotionally destroyed them. Not proud of it, but I have seen the aftermath of my actions. It wasn't pretty.

Interesting. I know I'm already pretty indifferent, and most of my successes come from "darker" emotional states (i.e. The DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE :o lol) but I've not seen much in the way of "aftermath".

Can you elaborate on that?

I'm going back for this example. I was around 21 at the time and I was dating probably one of the most gorgeous girls in school. She had most men around her thumb, and it's true what they say, the more attractive the girl is the more insecure she is.

Anyway I had dated her for a few months and aside from having amazing sex, all we did was fight. She was pretty high maintenance and she was one of the first relationships I had since my previous gf passed. I just got to a point where nothing she did mattered to me.

In the end I slept with some other girl and then broke up with her. When she asked me why I did what I did, I just remember how calm and detached I was, and I told her that I did it because I didn't feel anything for her anymore.

She was angry and emotional and I had nothing. No regret or sympathy. And she saw that on my face I'm sure. I was just completely indifferent to her.

It didn't help that all of this happened on Christmas morning and she showed up at my doorstep while the other girl was there (she had stayed over from the night before).

She fell apart not long after - drugs and drinking binges. She put on a lot of weight. She did all these things to basically destroy herself, almost in an effort to validate my lack of feelings for her.

She ended up in a rehab center at some point over the next year and many of the people who knew both of us held me responsible. There was a lot of fallout. She told our mutual friends that she just wanted me back. They told me to go talk to her and salvage it in an effort to at least help her out of the downward spiral she was in.

I didn't, I wouldn't. Eventually most of those people stopped speaking to me and eventually she came out of her tailspin, though it took her a long while.

In the end, that experience broke something inside of me actually, because that feeling of indifference became more prominent with several women I had dated into my late 20's and even my 30's.

Looking back, there were a lot of women I hurt really badly, because for a lot of them it went beyond just sex. They got their emotions involved and said they loved me. And I didn't see them as anything more than a hole to bang and a distraction.

So, yeah, indifference will break a woman. Because I think women want to be the one that breaks through the barrier. It becomes a project for them. And so they get invested, at some point beyond their controls. And that's when it falls apart for them.

Interesting. You can't blame yourself though. Her actions are her own, and her emotions are within her control. As we know from all the self-development teachers and trains of thought that all say pretty much the same thing: http://fragmentsofevolution.org/the-impo...-emotions/

In my opinion, she was just trying to manipulate you by hurting herself.

[chaosvrgn]

Also, hatred is not the strong absence of love, but the strong presence of hatred.

I was actually about to chime in and say the same thing. Hate and love are two manifestations of the same energy, just vibrating at different wavelengths (if you want to visualize it and can't understand the abstract). Both love and hatred involve an intense emotional investment in the entity of interest. The absence of love is apathy.

The question that no one wants to answer or confront is why women respond stronger sexually (regardless of whether they want a long-term relationship or a one time fling) to the dark, "hate" energy than to the much more positive love energy.

Sarge and I don't agree on everything, but he's definitely not off or wrong about this.

[RTBoss]

Also, hatred is not the strong absence of love, but the strong presence of hatred.

I was actually about to chime in and say the same thing. Hate and love are two manifestations of the same energy, just vibrating at different wavelengths (if you want to visualize it and can't understand the abstract). Both love and hatred involve an intense emotional investment in the entity of interest. The absence of love is apathy.

The question that no one wants to answer or confront is why women respond stronger sexually (regardless of whether they want a long-term relationship or a one time fling) to the dark, "hate" energy than to the much more positive love energy.

Sarge and I don't agree on everything, but he's definitely not off or wrong about this.

I don't have to answer or confront it because it directly violates my personal experience with regard to every sexual encounter I've had in my life. I have never, not once, experienced sex through anger, or any other "dark" energy.

The question you guys should ask yourselves is, why is that your experience? (Well, not Sarge - yet!)

[maxx55]

For me personally, from the responses I've gotten from people, I don't believe others could pick up on my strong internal emotions. I naturally did my best to hide it, but supposedly people, especially girls can pick up on stuff like that.

All I can say is that I've had normal interactions with people when I know if I met someone who felt the way I did at the time, I'd be scared as shit and afraid that they'd just lose it and harm/kill me. Yet no one ever picked up on that

Of course women's intuition IS overrated (otherwise there'd be no such thing as rape, cause women would see it coming, or murder for that matter).

However, there is something to emotions effecting things. I'm not sure exactly how it works, but I know that when in certain emotional states I get much different responses from people. There's probably more to it of course.

In my experience, there needs to be a connection to the woman for women's intuition to work. Even if it's there, it can be suppressed by the woman.

I remember, in high school, the one time I skipped work with a friend - I even parked my car in the work parking lot - was the ONLY time my mother decided that they'd drive by, and not just stay in the car, but actually go in, only to find I'd called in sick to work. I hypothesize the massive amount of guilt and fear of getting caught tipped her off.

This seems much more accurate for my experiences. One of my close female friends has such a strong intuition on how I'm feeling that once I was talking with a mutual friend of ours, and the mutual friend was on the phone with her and soon as she heard my voice, she said that I sounded sad. I think that's pretty strong intuition. But it only happens with those who know me. And even then, I can sometimes hide it from them if I really try to.

[Blink]

Also, hatred is not the strong absence of love, but the strong presence of hatred.

I was actually about to chime in and say the same thing. Hate and love are two manifestations of the same energy, just vibrating at different wavelengths (if you want to visualize it and can't understand the abstract). Both love and hatred involve an intense emotional investment in the entity of interest. The absence of love is apathy.

The question that no one wants to answer or confront is why women respond stronger sexually (regardless of whether they want a long-term relationship or a one time fling) to the dark, "hate" energy than to the much more positive love energy.

Sarge and I don't agree on everything, but he's definitely not off or wrong about this.

If you consider that love and hatred are exactly opposite things, and if they actually are the manifestations of the same energy, I think the 2 statements would be equivalent.

But imagine a man speaking and acting with full passion towards something. Wouldn't you say that's an attractive trait? Maybe it's rare to find, and I'm not actually implying that when I ask the question, so just wondering. But it makes sense to me. The thing is, I think hatred is more accessible and easier to generate, whether it's because as a society we've made it so, or because it's the path of the less resistance, I'm not sure.

[SargeMaximus]

Also, hatred is not the strong absence of love, but the strong presence of hatred.

I was actually about to chime in and say the same thing. Hate and love are two manifestations of the same energy, just vibrating at different wavelengths (if you want to visualize it and can't understand the abstract). Both love and hatred involve an intense emotional investment in the entity of interest. The absence of love is apathy.

The question that no one wants to answer or confront is why women respond stronger sexually (regardless of whether they want a long-term relationship or a one time fling) to the dark, "hate" energy than to the much more positive love energy.

Sarge and I don't agree on everything, but he's definitely not off or wrong about this.

If you consider that love and hatred are exactly opposite things, and if they actually are the manifestations of the same energy, I think the 2 statements would be equivalent.

But imagine a man speaking and acting with full passion towards something. Wouldn't you say that's an attractive trait? Maybe it's rare to find, and I'm not actually implying that when I ask the question, so just wondering. But it makes sense to me. The thing is, I think hatred is more accessible and easier to generate, whether it's because as a society we've made it so, or because it's the path of the less resistance, I'm not sure.

I think it may be because it shows that, on some level, you care. Indifference (as Duke mentioned) is the worst thing (results-wise) you can "be" towards someone else.

The intensity of hatred shows how much you care, and why I think hatred works better than love is because love is what most people inhabit when trying for approval.