DMSI Journal

[Purple Jade]

who is your ideal celeb?

Hmmm never really have an ideal celebrity since being an adult, as one can only see a celebrity for his/her appearance and I must like someone’s intellect first.

[Purple Jade]

Been on B side 5 loops per night, on stereo speakers, all seems fine.

LD guy and I are meeting for the first time next week, so far so good!

[Purple Jade]

Having some self doubts - it’s too good to be true. Do I deserve someone being head over heels for me?

[Determined]

It's your birth rite as a human being to be loveable and to be loved by another. You can give yourself permission to enjoy this and yes you absolutely deserve it.

[Purple Jade]

Met up with LD guy, I wouldn’t say he’s the most sexually attractive guy, so I guess he’s not really the result of LD sniper, but I’m attracted to him, very romantic. Totally enjoyed being with him, so I have ended the dry spell.

Drama guy has reached out to me yet again, and I haven’t decided if I would want to see him again.

[Purple Jade]

I feel a bit loss after the meet - we have now defined our relationship as “couple” and I will refer him as BF from now on, as we are now back to our physical locations.

The feeling of loss triggered me to run A side again. So I’m now back to A with 6 loops.

[Purple Jade]

Still running the A side. Work has been very busy lately and didn’t really bother to play with anyone, not even flirting - could be because I have now considered myself in a relationship.

I guess once someone gets into a relationship, all sorts of related emotions are surfacing again, may they be negative or positive. It seems I’m not quite ready to deal with them.

Contemplating on pulling back from this relationship, but I’m not planning on calling it quits just yet. I will see how it plays out while I continue on the healing of A.

[Purple Jade]

It has been a long time since I last updated. I’ve continued A side for the past 2 months. All is well - although it’s a LD relationship, I feel my sex life has never been more fulfilling than this stage. I think it’s affecting my BF also, as I can tell he’s enjoying it like crazy. I can certainly feel the healing effect - I do find I’m more in control of my emotions in this relationship. I’m still as loving as I was ever be, but I’m not codependent at all.

Once 3.2 is out, I’ll come back to updating the journal more frequently.

[4Kingdoms]

Just out of curiosity?? How far apart do you and you LD live from each other? No need to reveal location, just distance. Thank you.

[enterthezephyr]

Thinking of times I've acted this way around a woman, it's either because I've been dealing with health issues (sick or whatever) or someone else I found was a better match for me came along. Either way a good philosophy in life is if someone's on the fence about you in whatever way to cut them off as it does you no good to spend valuable minutes on nonsense.

Thanks for the advice.

I have been quite clear that I wasn’t interested in a serious relationship and he told me the same, hence I didn’t expect any drama. The whole idea of fwb is no dramas, everything should be clean cut, either yes or no.

So on Saturday he played the first drama, he played another one on Sunday, the third one on Monday. He did say he was sick, and from what I know about him, not likely to have another person in the picture right now. If there is someone or he’s sick, he can easily call it off.

The most crazy thing is that he started another conversation today with a very sincere apology, no execuses, just straight to the point admitting he was wrong and asked for my forgiveness.

All I can say is DMSI - I have no other explanation.

That's fascinating. And there's no way at all you were in his proximity?

[enterthezephyr]

The long distance sniper is hitting the target really hard. He already chose the dates and is in the process of arranging all the logistics...

Did you know them before DMSI?