DMSI 3.1 and MLS exploration - Ascension to ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)hood

[apollolux]

To elaborate, I am coming to the conclusion that the insecurity I'm feeling is because of a disconnect between that which in not, and that which I used to be.

The missing link is identifying who I am right here right now. This is a revisit to the earlier days of 3.1 where I was feeling that I don't know who I am anymore.

I'm NOT a natural alpha. There's a lot I don't align with as far as being a natural alpha. I'm referring primarily to the ESTJ personality type, which I see from my perspective as that which I'm not.

I am also not a beta anymore, which is that which I am not ANYMORE. So who am I now? I'm not an alpha and I'm not a beta. So who the fuq am I? Well, consciously, I know I'm [eternity]. Subconsciously, I am at a loss, trying to figure out where I fit in, in this world.

It's a weird feeling.

Do you see ESTJ as a "natural alpha?" If so, what about that personality jumps out at you such, and why don't you feel "aligned" with those?