03-23-2017, 06:53 PM
I Know I'm posting a lot, and it's primarily because this has become my thoughtscape. A place for me to muse randomly, as have at ye would say.
Exhaustion has me curled up in bed and I've been here since 8pm. The way I look is pitiful these days. My eyes have been really swollen, like I have been crying for a while. The sleepiness is just too much. I'm glad carman isn't getting exhaustion on this version because that would warrant hopping subs in his case... and I can freaking see why. I unfortunately haven't the capability to sleep in, so I have to push through every way I can.
Here's a plot twist though. I don't think the exhaustion is resistance anymore. It's the reality shifting. I'm not walking steadily to the desired reality -- I'm being cannoned there. The exhaustion is the result of the pressure of going so far so fast. Plus the clearing plus the auricular shield, all of the snipers, and the aura itself. That's a lot of energy don't ya think! !!
Plus side is I gained 3 pounds. This is a miracle for me. I'm now 118 pounds. Thanks to the energy sourcing pulling me to eat a lot.
I also seem to be unlocking my shadow functions, as the way I have been conducting myself is definitely not the way I typically conduct myself as an ENFP. There seems to be introverted thinking going on, which is wow. I had a taste of it during 3.0, as I mentioned in my journal.
Sooooo.... maybe I'll stick to 3.1 after all. I had originally planned to do 30 days of mhs after 30 days of 3.1, but I'd like to let this new personality sink in before I change course. For the record, I do need to do some MHS due to some abuse I've put my body thru... there's probably a health related reason that I'm so exhausted too. (Had an inkling I may have a particular illness and I've had this inkling for quite a while. ...) I'll need to get tested.
Another compelling reason to stay on dimsee? Whoever is my friggin long distance sniper target has a lot of my energy invested in her, and I'm not sure I want to let all of that go to waste. But if I do have the illness I worry about, then all bets are off and I'm running mhs
Exhaustion has me curled up in bed and I've been here since 8pm. The way I look is pitiful these days. My eyes have been really swollen, like I have been crying for a while. The sleepiness is just too much. I'm glad carman isn't getting exhaustion on this version because that would warrant hopping subs in his case... and I can freaking see why. I unfortunately haven't the capability to sleep in, so I have to push through every way I can.
Here's a plot twist though. I don't think the exhaustion is resistance anymore. It's the reality shifting. I'm not walking steadily to the desired reality -- I'm being cannoned there. The exhaustion is the result of the pressure of going so far so fast. Plus the clearing plus the auricular shield, all of the snipers, and the aura itself. That's a lot of energy don't ya think! !!
Plus side is I gained 3 pounds. This is a miracle for me. I'm now 118 pounds. Thanks to the energy sourcing pulling me to eat a lot.
I also seem to be unlocking my shadow functions, as the way I have been conducting myself is definitely not the way I typically conduct myself as an ENFP. There seems to be introverted thinking going on, which is wow. I had a taste of it during 3.0, as I mentioned in my journal.
Sooooo.... maybe I'll stick to 3.1 after all. I had originally planned to do 30 days of mhs after 30 days of 3.1, but I'd like to let this new personality sink in before I change course. For the record, I do need to do some MHS due to some abuse I've put my body thru... there's probably a health related reason that I'm so exhausted too. (Had an inkling I may have a particular illness and I've had this inkling for quite a while. ...) I'll need to get tested.
Another compelling reason to stay on dimsee? Whoever is my friggin long distance sniper target has a lot of my energy invested in her, and I'm not sure I want to let all of that go to waste. But if I do have the illness I worry about, then all bets are off and I'm running mhs
