Holy shift. I just experienced quite the intense experience....
While on the phone with L trying to plan something for one of the coming weekends, I mention that I'm going out of town with my 11 year old sister, and a girl and her 2 sons for the night to go crystal hounding. She got supremely jealous, and proceeded to spout so much drama that I was done with it. She called three times and I ignored her calls until she texted "call me i want to talk this through". so we talk it through..
We talk about our bonding experience on saturday, and how when she said "I'm in love with you" on Saturday, that was supposed to mean that we don't date other people. I made this very clear to her. She threatened me with "Things between us can change REAL quick. I can start seeing other people real fast." I genuinely responded back saying "You SHOULD!" The authenticity with which I responded threw her off and she was unable to comprehend wtf just happened. Her threat to see other people didn't work on me. OK so there was a little bit of a gray area as to where we stand as far as what our relationship is. I conceded to that, and agreed that we should make things clear. I told her how I feel about dating other people, and how I will not become exclusive to anyone. Even if it means that me and her are no longer going to be seeing each other. She was offended that I said she should date other people.
I told her why she shouldn't feel offended, and that it's actually my personal belief that I will not be exclusive with her. And if that's what she's looking for, we might as well call it quits right then and there. She asked "are you really willing to risk what we have so that you can see other people?"
While that question really stung, and really made me THINK, I stayed vulnerable and true to myself. I recognized it being a last minute resistance shit test, and rephrased what she said to convey that if we're going to talk about risk, we should talk about the fact that we are not going to be together long term, and we should acknowledge the [b]fact[/b that the nature of our relationship is going to change sooner or later. And with that being the case, I am holding onto my stance that I will be seeing other people, whether she is okay with it or not. If she's not okay with it, I will 100% respect that value of hers and agree to not see her anymore as I do not want her to compromise ANY of her values just to be with me.
That topic was closed when she said "I don't think I can date any other man, considering how close we have gotten. But I guess we are in an open relationship, now. I know you CAN, and I guess I'm now responsible for how I feel if/when another woman comes into the picture."
Did this really happen to me? Did I just successfully create an open relationship? Just like I had planned all along since January? O_O
AND did I ACTUALLY maintain my composure, despite how fukkin BAD it stung to be in the firing lines of a woman's last minute resistance to letting go of the notion of us being exclusive?
F*ckin DIMSEE!
And a major shoutout to those who've helped me along the way on this forum.
edit: oh yeah i forgot my dang headphones at the office so i guess i'm not going to listen to my loops tonight! D:< oh well, time to bloom
While on the phone with L trying to plan something for one of the coming weekends, I mention that I'm going out of town with my 11 year old sister, and a girl and her 2 sons for the night to go crystal hounding. She got supremely jealous, and proceeded to spout so much drama that I was done with it. She called three times and I ignored her calls until she texted "call me i want to talk this through". so we talk it through..
We talk about our bonding experience on saturday, and how when she said "I'm in love with you" on Saturday, that was supposed to mean that we don't date other people. I made this very clear to her. She threatened me with "Things between us can change REAL quick. I can start seeing other people real fast." I genuinely responded back saying "You SHOULD!" The authenticity with which I responded threw her off and she was unable to comprehend wtf just happened. Her threat to see other people didn't work on me. OK so there was a little bit of a gray area as to where we stand as far as what our relationship is. I conceded to that, and agreed that we should make things clear. I told her how I feel about dating other people, and how I will not become exclusive to anyone. Even if it means that me and her are no longer going to be seeing each other. She was offended that I said she should date other people.
I told her why she shouldn't feel offended, and that it's actually my personal belief that I will not be exclusive with her. And if that's what she's looking for, we might as well call it quits right then and there. She asked "are you really willing to risk what we have so that you can see other people?"
While that question really stung, and really made me THINK, I stayed vulnerable and true to myself. I recognized it being a last minute resistance shit test, and rephrased what she said to convey that if we're going to talk about risk, we should talk about the fact that we are not going to be together long term, and we should acknowledge the [b]fact[/b that the nature of our relationship is going to change sooner or later. And with that being the case, I am holding onto my stance that I will be seeing other people, whether she is okay with it or not. If she's not okay with it, I will 100% respect that value of hers and agree to not see her anymore as I do not want her to compromise ANY of her values just to be with me.
That topic was closed when she said "I don't think I can date any other man, considering how close we have gotten. But I guess we are in an open relationship, now. I know you CAN, and I guess I'm now responsible for how I feel if/when another woman comes into the picture."
Did this really happen to me? Did I just successfully create an open relationship? Just like I had planned all along since January? O_O
AND did I ACTUALLY maintain my composure, despite how fukkin BAD it stung to be in the firing lines of a woman's last minute resistance to letting go of the notion of us being exclusive?
F*ckin DIMSEE!
And a major shoutout to those who've helped me along the way on this forum.
edit: oh yeah i forgot my dang headphones at the office so i guess i'm not going to listen to my loops tonight! D:< oh well, time to bloom
