06-02-2017, 02:30 PM
Have done 2 loops yesterday, both hybrid. The hybrid/masked combination seems definitely better for me. I don't know if it is possible, but sometimes I think that the US part (or US tracks) cause some sort of brainwave shifting by itself and make the subs less effective as far the effect start to become noticeable. Not saying it is this way but it's how it looks like to me. However, may also be good old resistance.
Later while reading the forum I discovered the discussion between Sarge and Chaos. And after reading Sarge's post about how much the improvement feels like obligation it really hit me because there is one thing that feels like obligation to me - and this is socializing. I have no problems with hygiene, workout for myself, earn money, etc. These are things I do for me in first term. But improving socializing and communication feels really like a obligation because I know I have to do it to be able to have (successful) dates which lead to sex at the end. But this seems to be my only motivation even if I know that it would also help me in all other parts of my life but I don't feel like I really want to improve here. In fact the opposite is the case, I am more like "Just leave me alone with all the socializing...". I wonder if this is another important reason why I don't approach.
Other than that, today my "gut" told me to do B for two loops (hybrid/ts). Well, and so I did. Felt really good while listening and this lasted most of the day. At the end of the first loop I started to have daydreams which included the sexy girl from the party. We were all making out and stuff. This lasted almost until the end of the second loop.
Interesting thing, today in the train there was a girl I already saw at the train station where she looked at me several times. I took place at her left as most seats were taken anyway. During the ride our arms started touching more and more. Usually girls in the train or bus immediately separate. But not this time. She seem comfortable and already before this started I felt the aura kicking in. But it was more a lovely vibe than sexually, like 80% unconditional love, 20% sex. On that ride I also got IOI's from two clearly underage girls, lol. On the ride back something similar happened with the girls sitting to my left. At some point our arms started touching, later more and more often and at the end all the time. She was also very comfortable. As she left the train I wished her a nice day. She smiled and did the same.
After back in my town I had to grab something from the supermarket. As I was standing and waiting at the checkout an older guy (maybe late 40's, early 50's) stood behind me with his shopping trolley. As he heard that another checkout opens he was like "let me through here!" and before I even managed to go aside he took his trolley and while trying to pass rammed it in my foot without apologizing or anything. I was just "WTF!? What's wrong with this guy?". And as standing at the other checkout he started starring at me and I gave him an aggressive look back. After few seconds he seemed to feel discomfort and looked away. Really, some people are strange.
Another thing worth mentioning: ATM DMSI feels like 1,1 steps forward and 1 step back. Good and interesting things happens on one side, on the other side I feel bad, like I never will reach my goal. Today had a moment where I thought this isn't really worth all the effort, maybe I should focus on something different, even if it didn't last that long.
Later while reading the forum I discovered the discussion between Sarge and Chaos. And after reading Sarge's post about how much the improvement feels like obligation it really hit me because there is one thing that feels like obligation to me - and this is socializing. I have no problems with hygiene, workout for myself, earn money, etc. These are things I do for me in first term. But improving socializing and communication feels really like a obligation because I know I have to do it to be able to have (successful) dates which lead to sex at the end. But this seems to be my only motivation even if I know that it would also help me in all other parts of my life but I don't feel like I really want to improve here. In fact the opposite is the case, I am more like "Just leave me alone with all the socializing...". I wonder if this is another important reason why I don't approach.
Other than that, today my "gut" told me to do B for two loops (hybrid/ts). Well, and so I did. Felt really good while listening and this lasted most of the day. At the end of the first loop I started to have daydreams which included the sexy girl from the party. We were all making out and stuff. This lasted almost until the end of the second loop.
Interesting thing, today in the train there was a girl I already saw at the train station where she looked at me several times. I took place at her left as most seats were taken anyway. During the ride our arms started touching more and more. Usually girls in the train or bus immediately separate. But not this time. She seem comfortable and already before this started I felt the aura kicking in. But it was more a lovely vibe than sexually, like 80% unconditional love, 20% sex. On that ride I also got IOI's from two clearly underage girls, lol. On the ride back something similar happened with the girls sitting to my left. At some point our arms started touching, later more and more often and at the end all the time. She was also very comfortable. As she left the train I wished her a nice day. She smiled and did the same.
After back in my town I had to grab something from the supermarket. As I was standing and waiting at the checkout an older guy (maybe late 40's, early 50's) stood behind me with his shopping trolley. As he heard that another checkout opens he was like "let me through here!" and before I even managed to go aside he took his trolley and while trying to pass rammed it in my foot without apologizing or anything. I was just "WTF!? What's wrong with this guy?". And as standing at the other checkout he started starring at me and I gave him an aggressive look back. After few seconds he seemed to feel discomfort and looked away. Really, some people are strange.
Another thing worth mentioning: ATM DMSI feels like 1,1 steps forward and 1 step back. Good and interesting things happens on one side, on the other side I feel bad, like I never will reach my goal. Today had a moment where I thought this isn't really worth all the effort, maybe I should focus on something different, even if it didn't last that long.
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.
