07-29-2017, 06:50 AM
Killing it at the gym. Getting more agression while going and feeling executing bodybuilding knowledge. Benching 100 + for reps is easily. Getting toned and more defined on a rapid frequency that make people wonder "wtf is with this guy"
Felt calm, centred yet very down and panicky in a slight sense. Underconfident for sure and heightened. Total off responses yesterday aswell when meeting up with friends. Im outgrowing them. Their intetests are not even close to me in terms of slight interest. I even felt wasting my time there. Like, it was so empty and unfulfilling I went home eventually.
Some girl was observing me from afar. The responses today were highly unusual. S was with another girl at the gym and for some reason, I displayed total disinterest at all, till MGTOW proportions. Training, eating, "planning" being on a flow of almost isolation. The looks from people vary very much. Weird looks like a distrust or some sorts, till other more looks of "taking of the pressure" as if greeting brings a sign of relief to them.
Went to get groceries after training and walked up on almist everyone to get what I needed. An war seems to be fought out internally. Visions and knowing of girls is coming bsck now and its a matter of time before having a partner/partners. Theyll line up for sure.
I am having attraction towards bodybuilding lifestyle, tracking macro's, carbs, fats, proteins. Since this shift broke through Im feeling kind of...flat? Numb? Somewhat meh-ish and chilled out without any interest in other things. AAS even has my interest now. Im legit confused. Slow glimpses of fragrance life and walking through the city and all of that. Amgry at limitations. Myself and the limitations that dictate others and so poison other peoples minds through it.
Oh, my spending is spinning out of hand. Im very much procrastinating aswell around it. Sucks but feel some things shifting in understanding and getting investment. Investment for investment. Like a circle thing and no interest at all to "side spend" for unnecessary things. Strict business view.
Felt calm, centred yet very down and panicky in a slight sense. Underconfident for sure and heightened. Total off responses yesterday aswell when meeting up with friends. Im outgrowing them. Their intetests are not even close to me in terms of slight interest. I even felt wasting my time there. Like, it was so empty and unfulfilling I went home eventually.
Some girl was observing me from afar. The responses today were highly unusual. S was with another girl at the gym and for some reason, I displayed total disinterest at all, till MGTOW proportions. Training, eating, "planning" being on a flow of almost isolation. The looks from people vary very much. Weird looks like a distrust or some sorts, till other more looks of "taking of the pressure" as if greeting brings a sign of relief to them.
Went to get groceries after training and walked up on almist everyone to get what I needed. An war seems to be fought out internally. Visions and knowing of girls is coming bsck now and its a matter of time before having a partner/partners. Theyll line up for sure.
I am having attraction towards bodybuilding lifestyle, tracking macro's, carbs, fats, proteins. Since this shift broke through Im feeling kind of...flat? Numb? Somewhat meh-ish and chilled out without any interest in other things. AAS even has my interest now. Im legit confused. Slow glimpses of fragrance life and walking through the city and all of that. Amgry at limitations. Myself and the limitations that dictate others and so poison other peoples minds through it.
Oh, my spending is spinning out of hand. Im very much procrastinating aswell around it. Sucks but feel some things shifting in understanding and getting investment. Investment for investment. Like a circle thing and no interest at all to "side spend" for unnecessary things. Strict business view.
