01-06-2017, 03:33 AM
(This post was last modified: 01-06-2017, 03:34 AM by AlphaScorpio.)
Been a better past couple of days, no longer feeling that severe sense of helplessness and depression.
The other night I had a little idea to turn the volume of my phone down to the lowest setting 1/15 while playing DMSI, Noticed the next days much less resistance. I think I'll stick with this volume setting for now as I think my mind responds to loud volume listening with a "I'll dig my heals in I'm NOT changing" response. I may work back up to a louder volume but for now I'll keep it at this.
Boss was friendlier at work, colleagues too, house mate was chatty much smoother past few days, Doesn't feel like theres something at the back of my head screaming for me to do something I don't feel I can... Now it's more like a subtle prompting for me to change...
Did an experiment with listening to 6 loops back to back on current volume setting and eating 1.5k calories half before and half after loops, woke up the next day after 10.5 hours of sleep, could barely move my eyes open lol was so tired, Feels fine now though actually, normal energy.
Feeling introspective and cocooning myself in again but I don't feel shameful for doing so.
The other night I had a little idea to turn the volume of my phone down to the lowest setting 1/15 while playing DMSI, Noticed the next days much less resistance. I think I'll stick with this volume setting for now as I think my mind responds to loud volume listening with a "I'll dig my heals in I'm NOT changing" response. I may work back up to a louder volume but for now I'll keep it at this.
Boss was friendlier at work, colleagues too, house mate was chatty much smoother past few days, Doesn't feel like theres something at the back of my head screaming for me to do something I don't feel I can... Now it's more like a subtle prompting for me to change...
Did an experiment with listening to 6 loops back to back on current volume setting and eating 1.5k calories half before and half after loops, woke up the next day after 10.5 hours of sleep, could barely move my eyes open lol was so tired, Feels fine now though actually, normal energy.
Feeling introspective and cocooning myself in again but I don't feel shameful for doing so.
