I haven't posted in a while mainly because I had nothing to report. The last two weeks have been nothing but an emotional roller coaster for me. I've been alternating between moments of euphoria and sadness sometimes several times a day. I did not feel like going out that much during that time, so the opprtunity to test the sub were fairly limited. Incidentally, I also had very little desire to post.
I can report that in the last few days, that something has cleared. I feel totally fearless, which is something new. Not a tinge of anxiety when talking to attractive women. In the past few days, I've been feeling this tension running from my groin to my throat combined with a sense of urgency or restlessness. In most nights I am woken up by raging hard ons.
In the last few days, IOI's have picked up. The most funny thing are the long stares that I've gotten from two different grandma's on two separate occasions. When caught, both pretented to do something else. Sorry grandma, you've been DMSI ed. Not worth commenting on it too much, but I've also got very long stares from three or four unattractive overweight women.
At the gym, a 40 ish curvaceous blonde gave me those come and f*** me looks and kept hovering around me as i was moving from machine to machine during my workout. The young woman who gave me those butt displays while on the thread mill has obviously broken up with her boyfriend as I don't see them together anymore. She had her long hair in a pony tail, which she undid and tossed a few times when around me.
Yesterday, I dropped Christmas cards to some of my colleagues at work. I came to Y's office, she wasn't there and left her card on her desk. She calls me 30 min later to thank me and we ended up talking for 15 min. She dropped by before she left and we chatted a bit. There were awkward moments of silence during our convo where we were basically staring at each other intently. Before she left, she stretched both her arms as to give me a hug, but caught herself and pulled one back to just give me a hand shake instead. Shucks.
Anyway, the scent of her hand cream or perfume lingered on me. So I had to thoroughly wash my hands before heading home to get rid of the smell. Got a christmas card from a former colleague, N that had sexual undertones in the greeting. Prior to DMSI, she made it very clear in the past that she wanted to have sex, but turn her down several times as we're both married with kids and definitively not interested in wrecking someone else's family for short term gratification.
Went to Wal-Mart afterwards and got a really long DIHL look from a cutie with her boyfriend. It took him awhile to cue in as to what was going on, but when he did, he had to tap on her shoulder a couple of times to bring her back to earth.
Based on what I am seeing, I believe that the time is very close when I will end my DMSI run as it becomes more difficult to resist the overt sexual signals that are being sent my way. I have to be on my toes now as I only become aware of my flirtatious behavior after the fact.
I can report that in the last few days, that something has cleared. I feel totally fearless, which is something new. Not a tinge of anxiety when talking to attractive women. In the past few days, I've been feeling this tension running from my groin to my throat combined with a sense of urgency or restlessness. In most nights I am woken up by raging hard ons.
In the last few days, IOI's have picked up. The most funny thing are the long stares that I've gotten from two different grandma's on two separate occasions. When caught, both pretented to do something else. Sorry grandma, you've been DMSI ed. Not worth commenting on it too much, but I've also got very long stares from three or four unattractive overweight women.
At the gym, a 40 ish curvaceous blonde gave me those come and f*** me looks and kept hovering around me as i was moving from machine to machine during my workout. The young woman who gave me those butt displays while on the thread mill has obviously broken up with her boyfriend as I don't see them together anymore. She had her long hair in a pony tail, which she undid and tossed a few times when around me.
Yesterday, I dropped Christmas cards to some of my colleagues at work. I came to Y's office, she wasn't there and left her card on her desk. She calls me 30 min later to thank me and we ended up talking for 15 min. She dropped by before she left and we chatted a bit. There were awkward moments of silence during our convo where we were basically staring at each other intently. Before she left, she stretched both her arms as to give me a hug, but caught herself and pulled one back to just give me a hand shake instead. Shucks.
Anyway, the scent of her hand cream or perfume lingered on me. So I had to thoroughly wash my hands before heading home to get rid of the smell. Got a christmas card from a former colleague, N that had sexual undertones in the greeting. Prior to DMSI, she made it very clear in the past that she wanted to have sex, but turn her down several times as we're both married with kids and definitively not interested in wrecking someone else's family for short term gratification. Went to Wal-Mart afterwards and got a really long DIHL look from a cutie with her boyfriend. It took him awhile to cue in as to what was going on, but when he did, he had to tap on her shoulder a couple of times to bring her back to earth.
Based on what I am seeing, I believe that the time is very close when I will end my DMSI run as it becomes more difficult to resist the overt sexual signals that are being sent my way. I have to be on my toes now as I only become aware of my flirtatious behavior after the fact.
INTJ
