Cry Me a Trickling Stream - EHPRA 2.0

[jonathan4all]

Changes are coming fast. It's pretty amazing.

I went to the gym today, first time since starting EHPRA 2.0. I had the sub playing on one app and my music on another. I actively engaged fears and wants, namely putting on a front while working out. I feel like I overcame a hurdle - yes, that quickly - where instead of pretending that I didn't care if attractive women were looking and finding me attractive, to actually really feeling that I didn't care. At that realization, I got a little surprise. I felt an overwhelming surge of love for my wife, and felt a deep realization that even if a 10/10 approached me with her panties around her ankles, that I would stay absolutely loyal. That feeling brought instant to tears to my eyes, and suddenly it was like every head in the gym turned toward me. It was like they could feel the love I was feeling.

And this trip's just gettin' started? Wow.

People like you are always dignified love in it's serene, blissful form.. respect man

[RTBoss]

I forgot to mention a few more items related to my gym visit yesterday:

I pushed the weights higher than normal. I was able to do so in a safe manner, so I did.

A yoga teacher that I've had a few classes with had a runaway 2 year old spilling his gold fish crackers all over the gym floor. No one moved a muscle (ooo! pun times!) to help her pick it all up, but me. I didn't hesitate. I can't help but think that I may have at one time turned my back instead. Feels like I'm getting back the old me.

Dreams:

The last 3 nights I've been dreaming about friends, the same friends each night, one of whom is my sister's husband (who lives 1000 miles away). We're always in a hotel of sorts with lots of fun activities. They're always doing stuff without me (with or without intent, I don't know). When I find them, they're done having fun. Always late to show up to the party.

I also had a dream last night where someone commented on my prematurely graying hair. I know I have shame/fear attached to that. When I think about the dream, I feel a touch of anxiety.

[RTBoss]

I react badly in the following situation:

Someone close to you offers to do you a favor when you need it, you take said person up on the favor, and they say that your timing is inconvenient for them - that they'll do it another time, when you don't need it, but hey, it works for them.

IMO, don't even offer the effin' favor in the first place! I experience deep disappointment and emotional hurt when this happens. It is completely reactionary, and hurts because I wouldn't do this to them. When they don't do as I would (in this case I would inconvenience myself to do them the favor as offered), it seriously degrades my affinity for the person - and once that happens, it's near impossible to get back into my good graces. Everyone starts at 100% with me, and the more you screw up, the more you get docked.

Hoping the forgiveness in the program can help me out. In some ways, I'm quick to forgive - but if I feel slighted by selfishness or betrayed in any way, I carry that with me. It would be nice to no longer have this kind of automatic reaction. Instead of allowing myself to get punched in the gut, I would like to have tensed up abs and deflect the blow.

Some years back, my wife lost her Dad in a hunting accident. That was before I ever met her. Because of it, these type of things don't bother her a lick. I think she learned some things don't hold a candle to that experience, and aren't worth letting them get to you. I feel weak and guilty for not being able to let it go like she can, and I get angry at her for being able to do so. Sometimes it feels like she just doesn't care, but I'm working on overcoming the attitude that getting upset with a situation I can't change means "I care more," because I'm slowly learning it doesn't. It just means "I hurt more."

[RTBoss]

That fast, I already feel better. Writing it down, and being introspective while actively listening to the sub, I'm 90% better in a mere 15 minutes.

I thought to myself, "That's them, I'm me." Being caring & compassionate, with a genuine aptitude for helping others is part of who I am. That's a good thing, and not everyone else is that way, or to the degree I expect them to be. That's okay.

[eternity]

writing is immensely therapeutic, subs or not. =)

[Shannon]

I react badly in the following situation:

Someone close to you offers to do you a favor when you need it, you take said person up on the favor, and they say that your timing is inconvenient for them - that they'll do it another time, when you don't need it, but hey, it works for them.

IMO, don't even offer the effin' favor in the first place! I experience deep disappointment and emotional hurt when this happens. It is completely reactionary, and hurts because I wouldn't do this to them. When they don't do as I would (in this case I would inconvenience myself to do them the favor as offered), it seriously degrades my affinity for the person - and once that happens, it's near impossible to get back into my good graces. Everyone starts at 100% with me, and the more you screw up, the more you get docked.

Hoping the forgiveness in the program can help me out. In some ways, I'm quick to forgive - but if I feel slighted by selfishness or betrayed in any way, I carry that with me. It would be nice to no longer have this kind of automatic reaction. Instead of allowing myself to get punched in the gut, I would like to have tensed up abs and deflect the blow.

Some years back, my wife lost her Dad in a hunting accident. That was before I ever met her. Because of it, these type of things don't bother her a lick. I think she learned some things don't hold a candle to that experience, and aren't worth letting them get to you. I feel weak and guilty for not being able to let it go like she can, and I get angry at her for being able to do so. Sometimes it feels like she just doesn't care, but I'm working on overcoming the attitude that getting upset with a situation I can't change means "I care more," because I'm slowly learning it doesn't. It just means "I hurt more."

Consider recognizing when you are reacting to subconscious expectations that may not work for you, recognizing what they are, and consciously choosing to let them go.

What your wife probably has done is exactly that: have little to no expectations. It's a form of disconnection and letting go of what is outside our control. You can only control you.

[RTBoss]

How many hours do you get RT?

I've been getting quite a few. Since starting, I've ran the track 63 times according to my Rocket Player app.

[RTBoss]

Consider recognizing when you are reacting to subconscious expectations that may not work for you, recognizing what they are, and consciously choosing to let them go.

What your wife probably has done is exactly that: have little to no expectations. It's a form of disconnection and letting go of what is outside our control. You can only control you.

Yes'sah! Funny, that's exactly what happened this morning. We went to get hot Krispy Kreme doughnuts (wife, son, me). Special trip. When we got there, the place was dead. I noticed that the conveyor had paused, momentarily. There were doughnuts just sitting there.

We got a dozen, and the lady gave us the luke-warm have-been-sitting-there-awhile doughnuts. I only realized when I bit into my first. Suddenly, massive disappointment hit. Not surprising, as I hold insanely high ideals of expectation about how my world-experience should be. If expectation does not equal actual experience, my mood tanks and I start complaining (rather than even attempt to correct the situation - I normally avoid that b/c at that point I try to correct through pure anger & I end up looking like/being an asshole).

While I "know" intellectually that this is not productive, my feelings trump the logic/wisdom of knowing it is not benefiting me to feel that deep disappointment. It's automatic. Subconscious over conscious.

Well, not this morning. As I started to ruminate on the growing feeling of discontent, I realized that allowing it to happen was directly impacting my ability to experience happiness. In other words, instead of allowing myself to go through the negative reaction, I stopped it by realizing that hurting myself did not improve the reality of the situation, nor was it making me happier. Bitching about it would also just decrease my wife's enjoyment of the experience. Instantly, I let it go. I feel happy, in spite of the not-so-perfect doughnut experience.

Big win.

[RTBoss]

I wanted to report this here, but I'm not sure the subliminal has anything to do with this whatsoever:

My wife just told me that she woke up in the middle of the night last night with a crazy, painful headache that was different from any she's ever had. She's prone to migraines and ocular migraines, but whereas those start around her eyes/front of her skull she said this felt like every nerve ending from her hairline to the back of her head was on fire. It only lasted 30 minutes. Her typical migraine lasts from hours to over a day. She went back to sleep, and hasn't had any issue since. Even after she reported this to me, I did not comment that I thought it could possibly be related to EHPRA 2.0, nor is she aware that I've changed over from Stress Relief.

[eternity]

but also, maybe it's not the right time to say he spent $100 on a new sub

As of last night, I am sharing a room with 4 other people again (it's a big room) and I have my E2 sub playing loudly. All of these guys are gonna gain this emotional pain relief with me, and i don't plan on telling any of them

[4Kingdoms]

I wanted to report this here, but I'm not sure the subliminal has anything to do with this whatsoever:

My wife just told me that she woke up in the middle of the night last night with a crazy, painful headache that was different from any she's ever had. She's prone to migraines and ocular migraines, but whereas those start around her eyes/front of her skull she said this felt like every nerve ending from her hairline to the back of her head was on fire. It only lasted 30 minutes. Her typical migraine lasts from hours to over a day. She went back to sleep, and hasn't had any issue since. Even after she reported this to me, I did not comment that I thought it could possibly be related to EHPRA 2.0, nor is she aware that I've changed over from Stress Relief.

Emotional Healing & Pain Relief Aid
Sounds like the pain relief aid of this subliminal did it's job!! If it is EHPRA 2.0, then this is an unexpected positive!!

Should you tell your wife you are playing EHPRA 2.0?
I'm playing it for my Mom, she thinks she's listening to Maximum Learning Speed-5G.
I'm playing it in the car while I drive my co-worker home. All he hears is silence and enjoys watching tv shows on his smartphone.

As of last night, I am sharing a room with 4 other people again (it's a big room) and I have my E2 sub playing loudly. All of these guys are gonna gain this emotional pain relief with me, and i don't plan on telling any of them

I believe our intentions aren't malicious. So why tell them... ever!?

[apollolux]

I thought the pain being relieved was emotional pain?

[4Kingdoms]

I thought the pain being relieved was emotional pain?

So did I. That's why I said it's an unexpected positive, if it is more than just emotional. There is also the possibility that her migraines stem from emotional issues and that's why EHPRA 2.0 is helping her.

[Daredevil]

It's also Psychosomatic pain that's being released since every physical pain has a Psychic counterpart.