Clearing the Debris with EHPRA v5

[ReconGunner]

Day 107; listen day 5; cycle 16

Quiet day. "Normal" anxiety at the beginning of the loops. Little to no head pressure.

Had a good holiday luncheon at work. I felt like I was at the "cool kids" end of the table without trying to be. More comfortable in my own skin that I used to be in such situations. Barely drained of energy after it was over - I'm a introvert - and had no problems with the rest of the evening, including a second, less interactive, event.

I had to go back and read the product description for E5 to see if this is in the direct scope of the sub, or a side effect. It's directly in scope in several ways.

Self Validation - comfortable in my own skin
Training yourself to heal and regenerate automatically - less drained
Appreciate yourself in all the right ways to allow for maximum success in self regeneration and healing - both of the above
Physical, mental and emotional relaxation to maximize and benefit healing and regeneration - direct effect and side effect

I'm going to stop there, but that's far from exhaustive. E5 is amazing.

Is your healing almost done? You are comfortable in your owe skin. Most people don't get there.

I can't say if my healing is close to done or not. I'm almost halfway through the 8 month recommended run, and there's probably still some deep stuff, stuff I may not even consciously remember, that needs healing. As far as being comfortable in my own skin, that comes and goes. It's more common and consistent now, though.

And as the disclaimer in the E5 product description states, the sub is an aid to healing. The healing is assisted by the sub. Engaging our capacity for self-healing is the goal of the sub, in all the different points found in the product description. Each one of us is at a different place in our journey. Each one of us has different things to heal. And each one of us will have different experiences on each sub, for those reasons.

I know I will need to use other subs when this run of E5 is finished. I have my eye on a few, based on my current and projected finances, that I am considering as next steps. I see E5 as a strong and beneficial beginning.

[ReconGunner]

Day 108; rest day 1; cycle 16

Quiet again. Staying productive seems to keep things from bubbling up, so they can process "in the background" until they are ready for conscious attention.

[ReconGunner]

Day 109; rest day 2; cycle 16

Quiet again. A good day spent with my wife and kids, to start the week of Christmas.

[ReconGunner]

Days 110-116; cycle 17

Vacation. Lots of family time. Skipped listening.

The first few days I still had the usual head pressure. After that, everything calmed down.

Now, back to it!

[ReconGunner]

Day 117; listen day 1; cycle 18

The usual head pressure. Anxiety late in the second loop. No dreams remembered.

[ReconGunner]

Day 118; listen day 2; cycle 18

No anxiety. Firmer head pressure late in the second loop.

No dreams remembered. Had some memories come up early in the morning. I now know what happened to throw my life off of its course when I was a teenager. It's nothing dramatic or traumatic, just a verbal mistake made in the wrong place and time. And there's nothing to forgive, except to forgive myself. Given my complete unknowing about the situation at the time, forgiving myself isn't a stretch at all.

Before E5, I would probably have seen this differently. And I know that I have suspected that incident as the turning point for a while now, long before I started running E5. It's likely that I'm only now able to acknowledge it openly because of the healing that I've done since starting the sub.

The title of this journal is more apt than I originally expected.

[Shannon]

I'm enjoying watching your journey.

[ReconGunner]

I'm enjoying watching your journey.

Thanks! I'm enjoying the journey, especially the milestones along the way. I almost can't remember what it was like before.

[ReconGunner]

Day 119; listen day 3; cycle 18

No anxiety. Not even a lot of head pressure. Quiet day and night.

[ReconGunner]

Day 120; listen day 4; cycle 18

Much the same today. A little more head pressure or so. Nothing significant.

Coming up on the halfway point of this sub's run.

[ReconGunner]

Day 121; rest day 1; cycle 18

Work holiday, family time; no listening time.

Quiet day. I won't say that my subconscious has stopped resisting. The usual symptoms of resistance have diminished significantly, though. When I get back to my usual routine of listening, we'll see what happens.

[ReconGunner]

Day 122; rest day 2; cycle 18

Didn't have to wait for my subconscious to kick at me.

Had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep last night. I would doze off, and then wake up with a combination of random thoughts, memories, and even snippets of songs on my mind. I'd try to focus on something different to try to settle my mind, doze off again, and then wake up to the same. This happened 3 or 4 times before I finally fell asleep for the night.

Heading in to the second half of the run. It's going to be interesting.

[ReconGunner]

Day 123; rest day 3; cycle 18

Quiet day. Restless night, like the one before, but not as long or as random. Job related stuff, mostly.

[ReconGunner]

Day 124; listen day 1; cycle 19

Quiet day. My dreams were more coherent. One of them was a "gotta get ready" kind of dream, but the context was completely unfamiliar. Maybe my psychological focus is shifting away from the past to the unknown future? That matches my current conscious state these days.