Chivalry is Dead Long Live The Alpha Male

[RisingSon]

Holy shit I think I'm experiencing derealization and depersonalization when I go out into public and I was still noticing the effects as I got back home. This could partly be linked to a spiritual awakening of sorts, so I'm not entirely bonkers.

Still, it's pretty disconcerting. Add to that feeling pretty much mentally castrated and it's not a good combo. I feel impotent as fuck in public nowadays. It appears those above disorders are linked to anxiety, plus I don't really feel all that present. I'll look into it more and figure out the cause.

Pretty sure I manifested another sexually attractive girl in the same isle of the same store as the tall Russian girl. This time it was a big ol' bitch wearing yoga pants (prickteasing, again...). Pretty sure she noticed me and then pushed her cart in front of me as some sort of ploy. "Oops" she said or something, while I was like "Uh" and kept walking. I would have been better off saying something like "Yeah, watch it (fatass)" but instead I got emasculated and felt like SHIT since I wasn't quick thinking enough. I'm getting real sick of these female power plays where they just parade around in front of me and I go home defeated. Then again, I guess most guys put up with this kind of stuff everyday and think nothing of it, but I know female behavior and their tricks. They know exactly what they are doing.

[RisingSon]

Sometimes I google obscure topics like "mentally castrated" and thus I found this. I can relate pretty well to what this guy is saying:

Back in the day I used to have interest in girls whenever I saw them, but after years of being alone and never having a girlfriend or any kind of affection from women I feel completely incapable of building any sort of relationship with them. In a way, I feel betrayed, because 98 % of men I know here were able to get girlfriends at some point in their life before they reached the age of 25. What the hell did I do to deserve being constantly ignored and snubbed by women? Another thing is, at this point, I feel like I have been mentally gelded by society. Due to constant rejection, indifference towards me and my social anxiety I'm not able to approach girls in real life, my mind no longer permits me to see girls as potential partners, I even stopped having sexual thoughts about women and my sex drive has been waning in recent months. My perception of relationship is totally warped anyways, due to my experiences in the past where I had to pay lots of $ to prostitutes so that they spend some hours with me and give me love and affection. Now I can hardly believe that it's possible to get any kind of affection from a girl without paying her in cash upfront.
This society managed to castrate me on psychological level and I don't see how things can change for me. My mind is totally twisted and I'm just unable to do things like flirting - even having a normal conversation with a girl is a difficult task now. I wish I could be normal...

Fuck being normal.

[RisingSon]

Derealization and depersonalization are interesting phenomena, but simply a stress responses. Looks like it coincides with panic attacks and intense anxiety. I'm not too worried about it, and I'm definitely not a schizophrenic or have that happening all the time. Is it related to subliminals? Idk. I do get mood swings but I also have a lot of energy and do a lot of inner processing, so no problem there.

I recently came across some heavy hitter books, maybe that was what shattered my reality recently. Because I absolutely do not entertain women's sly tactics anymore. LOL! Some may think, "omg this guy is some cruel psychotic criminal how is he even allowed to post" but no. Perhaps the anxiety is being caused by me having to restrain my natural tendencies and urges when in public. Come to think of it, that's probably it. I usually feel suppressed when out and about.

Back to the books. One of the biggest revelations I've so far received from these is that women collectively conspire to transpose their own neurosis onto men. THEIR NEUROSIS and inner conflict about sex, etc. They do a damn good job of it, too, on many fronts. Maybe that's why I'm so messed up around them and avoid women like the plague unless they are treating me absolutely favorably.

For those who dare:

1. All About Women: What Big Sister Doesn't Want You to Know
2. Sex & Power: A Manual on Male-Female Relations

I've only read the #1, but I hear #2 is better. And they are cheap on Kindle plus pretty short reads.


Music video to lighten the mood:

[RisingSon]

What was my thought process this morning...

Fuck. After reading #2 it's unquestionable. My worst fears, confirmed. Is this some sort of sick joke? The list of "men who don't get laid" in there should be revealing. I remember distinctly thinking: the only way a woman can be 'good' is if she is broken - in every sense of that word. They aren't even wired right, having a disconnect between their brain and body. My resolve is only strengthened. Heh, and at least I have proper role models. Many, many, more words could be said but at this point... Shit's fucked.

[RisingSon]

Here's my metaphor for DMSI B, so far.

It's like DMSI is an icebreaker barge, and I'm taking it on an expedition beyond the North Pole because we heard there is a mythical land of lush warmth and greenery (this is a metaphor for women's warmth which is also mythical at this point) far beyond the frozen ocean. This icebreaker is smashing through icebergs at grueling pace as the wind howls and grows more frigid. I'm smoking my pipe on the bridge wondering what in the cockneye am I doing, better retire to my captains quarters for some rest and heavy boozing. Either this trip is going to get us all killed, or we'll break through to the mythical land beyond the poles. Maybe I should just turn this barge around right now and head for the tropics. Then again, how many icebreaker barges do you see in the tropics?

Hope you enjoyed my metaphor for the futility of DMSI against female frigidity and unpleasantness.

It's inspired partly and in no small part by a book called The Smoky God, about a man and son who purportedly did travel beyond the poles and found something better than anything I could write.

[RisingSon]

At this point I mostly use these subliminals for self-development, that should be obvious. As much as I disparage DMSI B because it is causing me to feel like a zombie with less than obvious results (OK, besides wild awesome sex dreams), I look forward to A because at least it has trauma healing and confidence, self-esteem, self-trust etc. A guy needs a lot of confidence (or some other nebulous substance) to compete with all the lesbian blowhards I see strutting around as if they are swinging 10 inch strap-ons while completely bypassing men. I even noticed they are invading the forum.

https://www.henrymakow.com/000441.html

Henry Makow has an interesting and perhaps radical position that men want power and women want love. Ultimately I don't think things will change unless there is a shift and society changes. I might delve into some of the progress I made in defeating negativity once and for all in future posts.

[RisingSon]

And if DMSI A doesn't show improvements I'm going to hire an entourage of middle eastern female assassins. The result won't be pretty.

[RisingSon]

Maybe I am being too hard on B version. I don't want to hurt Shannon's fee-fees. Nvm, I really do think gender equality is futile. I think the only men who get good results from B could be those who are feminized or lack self-respect and dignity but that is just my opinion and I haven't read too many journals. Nearly all the relationships I see nowadays are led by a female, but that's nothing new. I even saw a really cute girl driving some schlub around today... Grrr...

I've been dealing with some major stress lately, mostly arguing with increasing number of trolls online, BUT maybe it's triggering some sort of growth. The stress is actually triggering growth and major breakthroughs such as the breakthrough I had last night with reasserting control of my thoughts and mental domain in a major way (the universe is mental, some say). I already posted that experience in Shannon's thread 4 posts back.

Arguing with trolls and observing toxic communities online is really taxing, though, so I need a break. It can even lead to brain damage like this article describes:
http://www.talentsmart.com/articles/How-...0-p-1.html

Strange as it may sound, I also found the source of these extremely negative toxic... things. Knowledge comes to me like that, but I also run in those circles. I may as well share it here, just because I have to share it somewhere. It's important to be able to identify these negative influences and intentionally mentally block, reject, neutralize or send them back (multiplied if you wish) OR absolutely destroy them and the source without mercy. <--- Well, that's advanced, don't try that.
http://www.keyholejourney.com/list-of-lies.html

This turned into a post about fringe mental health but we are dealing with the mind here and some can benefit.
Not for the faint of heart so if you are not interested in toxic personalities, I advise you not read.

[RisingSon]

Haha alright, time for another erratic journal post since I have a habit of cramming all sorts of stuff in. I also have a habit of thinking I know better than Shannon, hence I've been doing 2 loops of DMSI and ignoring the second ASRB. It got to be too much so I took a day off to see if I could notice any bloom.

I haven't been getting out much, I guess I expect the manifestation power of 6G to drop girls from the sky but that hasn't happened yet. I am getting preferential treatment, something I have noticed, even by grumpy old ladies who used to ignore me. I'm looking good and lean in the mirror maybe losing some stubborn belly fat and could use more of a facelift. I have been aware of my facial sutures moving around especially at night but also have a background in that and have sought out holistic practices like palate widening and neurocranial restructuring in the past. Take a look at how Leonardo Dicaprio aged and how much more wide his face got even recently.

I live in the Midwest and people here are ugly, but I have been noticing some attractive girls come into my field when I do make it out. Thing is, they are always with some beta dude! Sheesh! One today was super fine, some college thot in leggings where we had some good eye contact until her chubby guy or brother arrived behind her. Another teen with some dork her age giving me the look of shame. Another one I caught out of the corner of my eye only but was enough for me to verbalize profanities about the state of her rear end. She hopped in a car with some chublord kid that I assumed was driving her to work by their conversation. What people eat around here is absolutely toxic and makes the males into a bunch of pathetic soyboys but does the exact opposite with these overdeveloped chicks. I AM PISSED. Did I mention how livid that last one made me?

Still, I won't degrade myself by using dating apps and won't go to bars or even seek out women on my own so it's a standstill. I think it's futile. Too many betas, betas everywhere to a woman's content. Too much social media. The analogy would be like me asking a girl to come out for a nice pleasant jog, but she is already running on a treadmill sweating profusely with a bunch of heart sensors and oxygen mask like the Russian in Rocky if you can imagine that. Heh.

[edited as per rule 4]

[Benjamin]

Some of your posts are going a bit far and just sound like crazy ranting. Seriously.. the last part is obviously against rule 4 and probably a few other things.

[RisingSon]

Does anyone actually know where Shannon is? Is he moping around because I said DMSI B is futile? Snap out of it, we got testing to do! I notice the forum is also stagnating and people are beating dead horses and asking the same questions. Blah, blah blah, blah blah...

I've noticed I'm getting more vascular which is just plain freaky. No other reports. My malcontents have increased. All I have is disdain for the women I see out in their sexualized outfits pretty much oblivious to the world. It's like there is a block because no way am I interacting with them and no way am I going out of my way. Nuh uh. I've been sissified it seems. Some guys are getting predatory stares from chicks, that's not success. Idk man these chicks need to find a personality or learn how to flirt or acknowledge men. I won't approach unless given clear invitations, even then, patience waning.

Only possible cure I see is the much needed deservedness programming. Yeah, if I'm convinced I deserve that hot peice of ass I might actually go for it. That would insinuate boldness which is enough to get the message through of "ooo I'm high value". At this point I can only hope to clear out traumas. I've accumulated lots of psychological trauma in my troll wars. They used weaponized memes, not like the memes on this forum which are baby memes totally nonthreatening. I have to root out a lot of embedded commands like "you will never have X ( positive experience)" or "how does it make you feel that X (extremely negative experience)". Terrible psychological warfare I've sustained. That shit was brutal. That's why I need version A.

Other than that I'm doing just fine and dandy but going out in public is like slamming my head against a brick wall and I've forgotten what it's like to geniunely socialize. Probably just need to run AM6 yet again because I know dominance gets results. Could always use more motivation and control over my environment. It's also like I've been dragged into the muck and my higher aspirations are... well, I'm sure they are somewhere.

[RisingSon]

Hahaha... Oh, goodness... This just popped up in my youtube feed and reinforces everything I've been saying and observing about the state of women and their beta man slaves. I enjoy this guy's prose and rants on subjects in the realm of modern relations, although sometimes he is way too blackpilled.



Starts at 24:24 and is a long video so for intellectuals only. This guy is a big bodybuilder type (but still an intellectual). Btw, I do care about Shannon and his health should be a priority so hopefully that cough is getting sorted out and his return to the forum imminent. He needs AM7 more than any of us!

[Sanbosay]

Man, you are wilding out dude!

[Benjamin]

Have a few weeks off. You continually post nonsense rants, and after having been warned several times you keep posting rule 4 stuff. On top of that your last few posts for no apparent reason are just taking potshots at Shannon.

Enough warnings.