10-17-2014, 06:58 PM
Okay, I've been listening for about 20 hours a day for 7 days now. My Goal at the beginning was to get clearer about my overall goals. That is happening, but with some interesting insights.
I've always been able to say in my mind or out loud what I'd like to happen - or what my desires are, but when it comes to writing down the step by step goals to achieving those desires, that's where I'm a little less disciplined.
What I've discovered, really in the last day, is that I'm AFRAID. I'm afraid of what I want. I'm afraid that when I write it down it will happen, or it won't happen. I'm afraid that like a scene out of Carrie - Piper Laurie will resound in my ear… 'they're all gonna laugh at you, they're all gonna laugh at you'.
Maybe if I hadn't gone through Alpha Female, I would have been frightened away by this and given up thinking that this sub wasn't working, or working negatively, but I know better. The fact that my Conscious is afraid means that changes are happening and I'm getting closer to being able to articulate in writing the steps necessary to obtain my desires. I define a desire as something I want where I'm not 100% in charge of the outcome - kind of like law of attraction type of thing… A goal is something I am 100% in charge of the outcome. My desire is to become a well paid author who can live off of the income from my book sales, travel the world and have the freedom to write all the time. The goal to that desire is to write… a certain amount per day, edit by a certain date, and publish by a certain date. These are the things I want to become clearer on and commit to, and am afraid of, mostly because of what others have told me since I was a little girl. It's a hard life, you need a secure job with benefits, blah blah blah… Of course I've bought into it, and now I'm on the treadmill with my teenager, and fear keeps me there (at least temporarily).
Things I've noticed in the last week….
1. No interest in TV or frivolous activities
2. More interest in furthering my writing craft and culling ideas for books, short stories etc…
3. Spending only the minimum amount of time required at work and the rest of my time researching the indie publishing industry
4. A need to get organized in all areas of my life
5. Less importance on what other people think about my choices
6. Clearer on the blocks holding me back
7. Vivid dreams about boats and sailing on clear waters - a very prosperous dream in dream dictionaries
8. Easier/stricter adherence to my dietary (for health reasons) goals than prior to listening to the sub
Until next time…
I
IML
ASH826
I've always been able to say in my mind or out loud what I'd like to happen - or what my desires are, but when it comes to writing down the step by step goals to achieving those desires, that's where I'm a little less disciplined.
What I've discovered, really in the last day, is that I'm AFRAID. I'm afraid of what I want. I'm afraid that when I write it down it will happen, or it won't happen. I'm afraid that like a scene out of Carrie - Piper Laurie will resound in my ear… 'they're all gonna laugh at you, they're all gonna laugh at you'.
Maybe if I hadn't gone through Alpha Female, I would have been frightened away by this and given up thinking that this sub wasn't working, or working negatively, but I know better. The fact that my Conscious is afraid means that changes are happening and I'm getting closer to being able to articulate in writing the steps necessary to obtain my desires. I define a desire as something I want where I'm not 100% in charge of the outcome - kind of like law of attraction type of thing… A goal is something I am 100% in charge of the outcome. My desire is to become a well paid author who can live off of the income from my book sales, travel the world and have the freedom to write all the time. The goal to that desire is to write… a certain amount per day, edit by a certain date, and publish by a certain date. These are the things I want to become clearer on and commit to, and am afraid of, mostly because of what others have told me since I was a little girl. It's a hard life, you need a secure job with benefits, blah blah blah… Of course I've bought into it, and now I'm on the treadmill with my teenager, and fear keeps me there (at least temporarily).
Things I've noticed in the last week….
1. No interest in TV or frivolous activities
2. More interest in furthering my writing craft and culling ideas for books, short stories etc…
3. Spending only the minimum amount of time required at work and the rest of my time researching the indie publishing industry
4. A need to get organized in all areas of my life
5. Less importance on what other people think about my choices
6. Clearer on the blocks holding me back
7. Vivid dreams about boats and sailing on clear waters - a very prosperous dream in dream dictionaries
8. Easier/stricter adherence to my dietary (for health reasons) goals than prior to listening to the sub
Until next time…
I
IMLASH826
