AwesomeYoungDude's Alpha Journal

[Shannon]

AM will have a somewhat different effect on each person for each stage, because everyone has something different they need adjusted. Stages that have made me irritable have been touted as wonderful by others, and stages that made me feel on top of the world were called "brutal" by others.

I don't think I have seen it, I'll go check.

[AwesomeYoungDude]

Stage 5 Week 1 - Week 13 Overcoming Procrastination 4G (reduced listening)

• More consistent use of deeper voice.
  
• Alpha walk and body posture is more consistent.
  
• Motivation remains at a decreased state.
  
• I'm detecting a slight amount of depression lately. I'm able to force myself to action (I believe this is due to the Overcoming Procrastination subs programing), but I'm seeing the world in more of a negative light. Update: I"m thinking its not as much depression as its annoyance with everything. Update: This feeling is starting to fade I think....
  
• I'm finding more and more irritation with others that try to take advantage of me or life. My response is not like it was in the earlier stages, but when possible I don't associate with them any more. This can pose a problem in a corporation. I don't want to create enemies, but still...........
  
• Stopped listening to Overcoming Procrastination in order to determine how permanent its programming is.
  

Because of the decrease in motivation and appearance of depression/annoyance I've added an additional influence to my progress towards my goals. This addition will work to accomplish the same things I've sought with all of my purchased subs. It will take time for this addition to take full effect, but should augment the subs. In the end the subs will augment this addition. Since both the subs and this new influence are capable of changes in the direction (creation of the characteristics) that I ascribe to alpha. It may be difficult to now separate this new influence from the subs. The effects of this new influence are well known and have documented results. From now on I will refer to this new influence as Factor-A.

[AwesomeYoungDude]

Stage 5 Week 2- Week 3 Factor-A

• Mode is starting to improve.
  
• I'm disappointed that I no longer have the fire of stage 3. However I can push myself when needed. This is a change from before AM11/Overcoming Procrastination.
  
• Over the last week I've not felt the urge to correct the world or call out the elephant in the room. I'm still quite bold but not as brash.
  
• I'm more and more dis-liking the current condition of my body. I have thoughts about working out but not the motivation.
  
• As I now understand what the AM11 sub focuses on (emotional self reliance, confidence in the masculine core, alpha body language), I'm seeing how it can be touted as improving other areas of ones life. The other areas can be improved with the proper foundation, but these other areas are not being directly addressed by the sub. So my expectation for the sub were based off what I pictured in my mind was alpha. The sense I'm getting from past reading of the forum is that the sub will build a foundation and with a correct foundation what I picture in my mind is possible. So if I'm correct, the sub will indirectly program me to what I want. My past experience tells me that this secondary, indirect, growth is best done by action and not just sitting back and letting nature take its course. The "let nature take its course" method with a different foundation will bring about changes, but will take time and leads in a direction maybe only know to my subconscious. So my expectation of what I expected AM11 to do are not materializing. The sub is not directly programming me, but indirectly. I've started to reset my AM11 expectations to look for the base traits that I think are in AM11 (Emotional self reliance and heath, confident and secure in the "masculine core"). I will say that I'm glad I did research before starting AM11 and added Overcoming procrastination.
  

I'm going to start from scratch and ask myself and others on the forum what can I expect from AM11. I'll be re-asking questions but this time from a different vantage point. Like asking the question about a flame only after staring at it for some period of time.

So the question is what should I be looking for? I'm looking for answers from those who have experienced AM in any version. If you respond, please let me know which version you used and if AM11 what stage you are on. Once again I'm looking for what has changed not, what you expect.

[Ryan]

AYD I went through similar changes that you did during stage 5...That whole thought about the current condition of my body has been haunting me since. Need to work out a whole lot more. Keep it up!

Ryan

[AwesomeYoungDude]

I spent more time looking a the flame of a candle. What I see is an un-choreographed dance of spontaneity. My eye observes a flame who's movements are without pattern and warning. Its dance is different from moment to moment. It dances to its own tune. The flame appears to have no memory of its past or thought of its future, it exists only in the moment. It does not predict where it will go. It is innocent. That said I know that what appears to be spontaneity, un-choreographed movement is in fact very controlled and quite predictable. The flame operates within a defined set of laws. It cannot change the laws or bend the rules it must exist within those laws. The flame's environment is set, based, and bound by its fuel source. The flames movement could be modeled and predicted. But what makes the flame move is its desire to use the path of least resistance. The flame is greedy and without remorse. It will consume all that it can. It will completely devour its supply and convert that fuel into heat. It has no rational thought of yesterday or tomorrow. It only exists in the moment. Once its fuel is gone it ceases to exist. Its destitute.

It is efficient. It converts its fuel and the resulting residue is so completely consumed or destroyed as to render it useless to the flame. Left to its own it will in time devour without thought its entire environment, leaving only destitution in its path. Its potential size is limited only to its fuel source so in that sense it is very powerful yet very weak and vulnerable. A small spark can and will require the efforts of armies of men to control given the right environment. It will consume entire forest. Left to its own it will destroy its self. The flame is only doing its job, its intent, its purpose.

That said, with an understanding of its nature, the flame is very controllable. When its efficiency is utilized it provides a consistent predictable outcome. When the greed of the flame is controlled it provides a service to others. When controlled the candle provides needed light for weeks, but when left to its own it wastes away in an unproductive manner within a few short hours. Yet it has not changed. It still appears spontaneous, un-choreographed, greedy, innocent, and in the present.

The flame is extremely needy. It requires constant supervision. Its environment (fuel sources) must be supervised in order for its purpose to be of use to others. Its fuel sources must be regulated and controlled and in this way the flame is a tool. Its qualities, purpose, and characteristics are of benefit. With time, a person can refine the use of the flame. We can be taught what a flame is, but until we feel of its heat and experience how that heat effects its surroundings, the flame is not mastered, it just exists.

When I look at a flame, I see multiple paths. When I apply the principles of the flame to my mind I see one path that leads to happiness, the other to frustration. My mind appears spontaneous, un-choreographed, greedy, and yet innocent. That said, it to could be modeled and predicted. It can be controlled. Left to its own, I would take the path of least resistance, I would consume without thought all that is around me. Left to his own, a man could be driven in a direction of self destitution (destitution: a state without friends or money or prospects).

But unlike the flame, I have thought of yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I understand the present is important but I also see the need for control and conservation of the fuel supply. Thus I see two paths both relying upon the same principle but one is mastered while the other is left to its own devices.

[AwesomeYoungDude]

Confidence in masculine core is confidence in your self identity as a man. What it means to be a man. In this day and age, we have a lot of trouble with men not being entirely sure what it is to be a man, how to be a man, whether it's okay to be a man... alpha male is designed to help with all of those. AM2011 definitely works on these things.

Think about it. Ever since the feminist movement started in the late 50's/early 60's, men (males, I should say) have been getting conflicting information (or in some cases, NO information) about how to be what they are, what other men expect them to be, what women expect them to be, etc.

Whether it's in a business/corporate environment or in a romantic/sexual situation, a man has to know how to be what's expected of him if he wants to succeed. This contradicts part of being an alpha, because alphas do as they please - but at the same time, it fits, because women expect a man to be a man before they'll generally give him much attention for romantic or sexual interest. I believe that our gender roles are at least partially genetically programmed into us, and probably that is true to a much larger degree than society as an entity (which is a human invention that doesn't really exist, since it is just individuals all "going with the herd" because they all think the herd is doing that too) would have us believe, or consider acceptable.

One or two groups of women, in their efforts to achieve (and in some cases, exceed) a state of equality with men, have muddied the waters as to what is acceptable to them and the rest of society (remember, blind herd-think) for what a man is, should be, can be, can do, etc.

Unfortunately, the men were not able to differentiate between adjusting to achieve equality, and being manipulated beyond equality in this sense, and so now we have a society here in the United States where we have a major division of "what's a man". Some say a man is a leader, and some say a man should be a follower. Those who want equality think a man should be the partner. Those who want one gender to be dominant will want the man to either lead or follow.

This has destroyed the common theme of what it is to be a man. And if you follow my line of thinking, then men need to be taken out of this confusion and given the definite gender role again, so they can be strong in and of themselves as men, but also as individuals.

Time and again, we see evidence that single mothers, no matter how well intentioned, raise their male progeny to be unsuccessful with women, because they raise them to be too nice, too polite, too uncertain, too weak. Consciously, women say they want these things, and they may actually. But genetically, a woman wants a man to live up to his genetic potential. We haven't outgrown that, and I doubt that it will ever happen in the next hundred generations. Women want a man to be a man, a leader, a protector, a provider, but some women also want to be the leader, etc. Unless she can accept the role of equal, there will be a problem if the man actually is a leader type. The confusion for men about what is what has got to stop.

The solution is to train men to be men, and be confident in themselves AS men. And as a man, a true man, he won't need anyone else's approval, he will do his own thing, and whether he has a woman or not is not a major concern because he is his own man. Two of the biggest secrets I ever uncovered in my journey are as follows:

1. No matter how you look, there will always be someone who thinks you're ugly, someone who thinks you're gorgeous, and a whole lot of people who think you're average.
   
2. When you make a choice and stand firm with your choice, you will naturally attract those who agree with your choice, and the rest will fall away.
   

So instead of males letting themselves be told what to do and how to act by a society that is itself just a bunch of people all tossing their hats into the ring, we need males to become men, and then let the chips fall where they may. If a particular woman doesn't like it, she's welcome to her point of view and her choice of responses, but that doesn't mean that a man should be less than what he is for anyone. The same is true for women, by the way.

The end goal is to produce a situation in which we do have defined gender roles, and remove the confusion so we can get on with enjoying one another's company and being happy. Gender roles don't have to be negative, but they by definition have to be sexist: they are determined purely by gender.

What I advocate here is not a negative thing, but the re-alignment of men with being themselves, being male, being strong in their self-ness, and not allowing anyone to manipulate, control or use them. Right now, our society is very heavily in favor of women in control, in certain very subtle directions, and that control is being perpetrated based on a very negative mindset by a small group of women who are not willing to be equals with men.

Men and women have to be equals, or there cannot be harmony. A house divided against itself cannot stand. Within that status of equality, there must be a satisfactory situation between the man and the woman in any couple where they achieve an equilibrium that they agree on. He must do his part, and she hers. His job is to fill in where she does not, or cannot, and her job is the same. Male and female are complimentary, and they represent the parts required to achieve the whole.

Confidence in masculine core is being the essence of that male polarity, and being that essence of male polarity without apology or being distracted by those influences which would have us believe that men are by nature incompetent, insecure, inefficient, insufficient, unnecessary, inferior, or whatever-else-have-you that those who would seek female dominance are trying to spread in our media.

Hopefully, that helps. I got a little off track there to some degree.

[AwesomeYoungDude]

Stage 5 Week 3-4, Overcoming Procrastination 15-16, Week 4-5 Factor-A

• I've noticed that the sting of work is removed.  I don't know if its more exposure to AM11,  increase exposure to Overcoming Procrastination, Factor-A, or a combination of all three. This state is nirvana for me.  In this state work is not a chore or difficult.  Its work, but the challenges and fears of work, learning, reading, adapting, confronting, challenging, compromising, doing mundane task and work, work, work, etc are not a burden.  I don't fear or am bothered by tasks.  This state was my goal of using Shannon's subs along with other quests to improve myself over the past several years.  Hope this state has staying power.  Update: The phase lasted for 1.5 weeks and decreased with the decreased exposure to Overcoming Procrastination.
  
• Beginning to notice and understand "confidence in masculine core".  I'm not intimidated by things.  What use to be a blow to my ego or challenge which triggered a immediate defense is no longer.  I will tell you that I don't agree with you where in the past I would say nothing.  I'm refined in my approach.  
  
• I've been asked what's up with my voice and why has it changed.
  
• More notice from females.
  
• Way more romantic encounters with my wife :->
  
• I'm hearing the rustling of the leaves in the trees again.  The wind is picking up.  Maybe this time theirs pay dirt in that wind. Only time will tell.
  
• Started working out again and watching what I eat.
  
• I reduced the exposure to Overcoming Procrastination and found that my motivation drop to almost zero.  I will resume the use of it.  
  
• Strong desire to be my own man.  I have no desire to be a part of the herd and when confined to a herd, I'm marching to a different drummer.
  
• Strong confidence in my abilities at work.  I know I can make a change and I'm not afraid to "put  your money where your mouth is" on this.
  
• i'm very embolden in my communication with management and upper management.  A few months ago I worked to gain their respect.  Now I don't care if they respect me or not.  I don't care if I'm employed by this company or not, although I'm not looking to get fired, I'm just indifferent about working there.  
  

This stage had it's ups and downs. The ups where the best so far in this alpha journey.   The stage ended on the down side however.

[Shannon]

Stage 6 is very nice for motivation, I am finding.

[Spiral]

I felt very motivated all through stage 6 of the 2010 program. I enjoyed it so much I might not even bother upgrading the next time I run through alpha male.

[Patti]

Stage 5 Week 3-4, Overcoming Procrastination 15-16, Week 4-5 Factor-A

• I've noticed that the sting of work is removed.  I don't know if its more exposure to AM11,  increase exposure to Overcoming Procrastination, Factor-A, or a combination of all three. This state is nirvana for me.  In this state work is not a chore or difficult.  Its work, but the challenges and fears of work, learning, reading, adapting, confronting, challenging, compromising, doing mundane task and work, work, work, etc are not a burden.  I don't fear or am bothered by tasks.  This state was my goal of using Shannon's subs along with other quests to improve myself over the past several years.  Hope this state has staying power.  Update: The phase lasted for 1.5 weeks and decreased with the decreased exposure to Overcoming Procrastination.
  
• Beginning to notice and understand "confidence in masculine core".  I'm not intimidated by things.  What use to be a blow to my ego or challenge which triggered a immediate defense is no longer.  I will tell you that I don't agree with you where in the past I would say nothing.  I'm refined in my approach.  
  
• I've been asked what's up with my voice and why has it changed.
  
• More notice from females.
  
• Way more romantic encounters with my wife :->
  
• I'm hearing the rustling of the leaves in the trees again.  The wind is picking up.  Maybe this time theirs pay dirt in that wind. Only time will tell.
  
• Started working out again and watching what I eat.
  
• I reduced the exposure to Overcoming Procrastination and found that my motivation drop to almost zero.  I will resume the use of it.  
  
• Strong desire to be my own man.  I have no desire to be a part of the herd and when confined to a herd, I'm marching to a different drummer.
  
• Strong confidence in my abilities at work.  I know I can make a change and I'm not afraid to "put  your money where your mouth is" on this.
  
• i'm very embolden in my communication with management and upper management.  A few months ago I worked to gain their respect.  Now I don't care if they respect me or not.  I don't care if I'm employed by this company or not, although I'm not looking to get fired, I'm just indifferent about working there.  
  

This stage had it's ups and downs. The ups where the best so far in this alpha journey.   The stage ended on the down side however.

Ok mister secret agent man, what the heck if factor A????? And why aren’t you sharing it with the class? Is it gender specific? Give me a hint….

[AwesomeYoungDude]

Patti, good to hear from you. Factor A will remain a secret other wise I would not be that "mister secret agent man". I've specifically excluded things from my journal that could tie it to the outside world. I mention it so that readers know that not all changes I'm experiencing are tied to AM11. I've been exposed to Factor-A prior to AM11.

Factor-A is available to everyone. laughing really hard...it took me a little while to understand the question of "gender specific". I was in my car listening to the radio when I finally made the connection. I think you were referring to Factor T to address LT. That would be a truly wicked combination, AM11, Factor T and Factor A. That might be more than Ms AwesomeYoungDude could handle. I laughed when I realized what including it would mean. I, AwesomeYoungDude, would be using Factor T and A in order to become an Alpha Male, while those in the +18 section are using Alpha Male in order to increase the factor of T&A in their lives.......[laughing to my self....some times I just crack myself up].

With that said, Factor-T is an interesting path, but it appears to cost $450 per month. Patti or anyone else, I would love to hear first hand experience with those who using or know of those who use Factor T?

[Patti]

Patti, good to hear from you. Factor A will remain a secret other wise I would not be that "mister secret agent man". I've specifically excluded things from my journal that could tie it to the outside world. I mention it so that readers know that not all changes I'm experiencing are tied to AM11. I've been exposed to Factor-A prior to AM11.

Factor-A is available to everyone. laughing really hard...it took me a little while to understand the question of "gender specific". I was in my car listening to the radio when I finally made the connection. I think you were referring to Factor T to address LT. That would be a truly wicked combination, AM11, Factor T and Factor A. That might be more than Ms AwesomeYoungDude could handle. I laughed when I realized what including it would mean. I, AwesomeYoungDude, would be using Factor T and A in order to become an Alpha Male, while those in the +18 section are using Alpha Male in order to increase the factor of T&A in their lives.......[laughing to my self....some times I just crack myself up].

With that said, Factor-T is an interesting path, but it appears to cost $450 per month. Patti or anyone else, I would love to hear first hand experience with those who using or know of those who use Factor T?

Ummmm, Ayd….you lost me at hello!!! hahahaha

I have no idea what Factor T is, but if it costs 450 bucks a month it must be pretty gosh darn good, so I’m in! lol The only Factor T that I can think of is a book, but I’m more than sure you’re not talking about that.

I asked if Factor A was gender specific because you are using it with AM11, so I thought it was a “manly” product. lol I also was wondering if it would help me in stop smoking quest?

You not only crack yourself up, you crack me up too! I was laughing pretty hard myself reading your reply and wondering what the heck you were listening too on the radio that gave you THAT revelation?!

So now, my interest is piqued in all area’s of Factors!!!! And I’m more confused than ever! hahaha

[AwesomeYoungDude]

laughing really really hard this time. Make sure you are sitting down before you start reading this.....I was listening to a radio commercial for low testosterone as in LT. That would mean factor T as in testosterone. So now you can understand why that combination would be to much for Ms AYD to handle. It was while listening to the radio that I connected the gender specific question to a product targeted to man specifically an old man. To repeat what I posted before. "I, AwesomeYoundDude would be using Factor T (testosterone) and A to become Alpha Male while those in the +18 forum are using Alpha Male to increase the factor of T&A (get laid) in their lives ..[now I'm really red faced, but still laughing my butt off] ..Patti, I'm glad you are on the forum...I do enjoy our exchanges.

[Patti]

laughing really really hard this time. Make sure you are sitting down before you start reading this.....I was listening to a radio commercial for low testosterone as in LT. That would mean factor T as in testosterone. So now you can understand why that combination would be to much for Ms AYD to handle. It was while listening to the radio that I connected the gender specific question to a product targeted to man specifically an old man. To repeat what I posted before. "I, AwesomeYoundDude would be using Factor T (testosterone) and A to become Alpha Male while those in the +18 forum are using Alpha Male to increase the factor of T&A (get laid) in their lives ..[now I'm really red faced, but still laughing my butt off] ..Patti, I'm glad you are on the forum...I do enjoy our exchanges.

You're a hoot!