Arctic Fox's LTU Journal

[ArcticFox]

Hi,

I have just finished a 12 month+ run on E2 and have recently switched to my next sub, LTU.

Towards the end of E2 I was having strong destructive thought loops that have plagued me emotionally and mentally for a long time. They are not productive and make me feel like I've missed out on life, been left behind and feeling dejected, sad and lonely.

They usually appear in the morning, and the leave me with a gut wrenching emptiness. However by the time I'm ready for work and out of the door I'm normally starting to feel better. These are the main things that are bringing me down:

• I've been having strong anger pangs, extreme frustration and wanting to smash something, normally brought on when my phone is really slow or crashes, or I'm trying to fix something and cant get it to work.
  
• Have suicidal thought pangs, nothing serious but they do pop in my head
  
• I've been having a lot more aggressive conflicts with people typically in service staff, customer service, waiters, etc. My patience is low and I react negatively much quicker
  
• I'm 38 and feel like the last 10 years have got me nowhere, most people I work with are late 20s/30s, they are all buying houses and getting married. I'm almost 40 and feel like I have nothing, and I'm now 10 years behind.
  
• Still renting as house prices are ridiculous in the UK, I didn't buy 8 years ago when I had an opportunity and now prices have almost doubled.
  
• I'm single, and have been for almost 2 years now and never properly rebounded from my last girlfriend. When she split up with me there didn't seem to be any reason for it -, she just said she thinks we should split up and I never got an explanation. So I felt lost afterwards but just held my chin up and made sure she was able to move out and find a new place, we stayed together for 2 months after we split up (separate rooms) and we carried on as friends, I think that killed something off in me without me even realizing.
  
• I struggle to meet women and rarely do - (I even getting lots of matches on tinder), and when I do I can never get a new relationship to start or the I do something to quickly sabotage the chances of anything else happening.
  
• I work a job that is entry level (although I'm over qualified for the role) mainly due to me quitting a previous role a few years ago, which in hindsight had amazing potential.
  
• I'm loosing interest in my job and getting frustrated at work, starting to give less of a fk - don't really care if my contract is renewed or if I loose my job (however not through misconduct).
  
• My family all own houses and have children, which my parents have helped them build and raise - which has been hard work for the parents - and my siblings have profited from greatly. However I'm now an outsider really as I don't have kids or a house, and that's all the family really talk about. I now resenting my family for this as they have made a ton of money from the properties and childcare!
  

Currently things are not really improving, I thought switching onto LTU would start to get things back on track. Towards the end of E2 I strongly believed that subs do not work for me, and ultimately they have not left me in a better state than when I started.

In terms of my current situation, motivation, well being, happiness and future plans its true, I'm really in a worse or at least same place to where I started. Is this just some hardcore resistance, or am I now starting to be realistic about subs not working for me? I could say that any progress I have made has been down to getting older and gaining experience in life.

** OK, rant over - not sure where that came from but its been brewing for a while and I have been meaning to start an LTU thread so will use this as the starting point. **

[cataleya]

How is it going? Feeling any better now?

[ArcticFox]

How is it going? Feeling any better now?

Thanks for checking in. I'm not as bad as I was, but I'm still not in a good place. Pretty much just had the most unproductive couple of months in my life.

Whatever is supposed to be happening with this sub it isn't, I really have little motivation or power, just living day to day and feeling flat. I thought with over a year on EPRAH 2 and now onto LTU I would be flying?!

I'll carry on, but currently only just keeping my nose above water.

[Shannon]

That sounds like hardcore resistance. It also sounds like E2 was making progress very slowly.

The only thing we have for healing right now that is a better choice than E2 is DMSI A-side, which is decidedly not focused entirely on healing, but is still the most effective program for healing and clearing, and overcoming extreme resistance that we currently have. At the right volume and number of loops, it gets through almost all resistance types.

[cataleya]

How is it going? Feeling any better now?

Thanks for checking in. I'm not as bad as I was, but I'm still not in a good place. Pretty much just had the most unproductive couple of months in my life.

Whatever is supposed to be happening with this sub it isn't, I really have little motivation or power, just living day to day and feeling flat. I thought with over a year on EPRAH 2 and now onto LTU I would be flying?!

I'll carry on, but currently only just keeping my nose above water.

For some posts I wish there was an "unlike" button, this is one of them. Not sure if you can afford it, but have you considered running DMSI since it is the most powerful sub healing wise right now like Shannon is suggesting?

[Zane]

You should run DMSI...

[ArcticFox]

That sounds like hardcore resistance. It also sounds like E2 was making progress very slowly.

The only thing we have for healing right now that is a better choice than E2 is DMSI A-side, which is decidedly not focused entirely on healing, but is still the most effective program for healing and clearing, and overcoming extreme resistance that we currently have. At the right volume and number of loops, it gets through almost all resistance types.

Thanks Shannon, E2 did make great progress but I think it needed maybe 3 more months before switching to LTU but I wanted to stick to my schedule. I appreciate you dropping in and providing your advice and suggestions with resistance - as I know you are very busy.

I've almost come to my first month of LTU, I did plan 3 months then MHS or DMSI, but I might just switch to DMSI A-side on Shannons advice. I find listening to audio books like 'the secret' and 'How to stop worrying' help with im feeling down so will start playing those more often, will then see how I feel in a few days before deciding my next move.

[ArcticFox]

How is it going? Feeling any better now?

Thanks for checking in. I'm not as bad as I was, but I'm still not in a good place. Pretty much just had the most unproductive couple of months in my life.

Whatever is supposed to be happening with this sub it isn't, I really have little motivation or power, just living day to day and feeling flat. I thought with over a year on EPRAH 2 and now onto LTU I would be flying?!

I'll carry on, but currently only just keeping my nose above water.

For some posts I wish there was an "unlike" button, this is one of them. Not sure if you can afford it, but have you considered running DMSI since it is the most powerful sub healing wise right now like Shannon is suggesting?

Stay away please.

[ArcticFox]

You should run DMSI...

Thanks Zane, pretty sure you suggested I run DMSI after my E2 run. Appreciate you checking in.

[cataleya]

How is it going? Feeling any better now?

Thanks for checking in. I'm not as bad as I was, but I'm still not in a good place. Pretty much just had the most unproductive couple of months in my life.

Whatever is supposed to be happening with this sub it isn't, I really have little motivation or power, just living day to day and feeling flat. I thought with over a year on EPRAH 2 and now onto LTU I would be flying?!

I'll carry on, but currently only just keeping my nose above water.

For some posts I wish there was an "unlike" button, this is one of them. Not sure if you can afford it, but have you considered running DMSI since it is the most powerful sub healing wise right now like Shannon is suggesting?

Stay away please.

I didn't mean anything wrong ...I just meant that I don't like it that after a year on E2 someone still feels this bad..but ok, I'll stay away.

[Zane]

Well do what u need to do and go with ur instinct.. IML isn't going anywhere and it will only get better as Shannon keeps on improving the subs..

[ArcticFox]

How is it going? Feeling any better now?

Thanks for checking in. I'm not as bad as I was, but I'm still not in a good place. Pretty much just had the most unproductive couple of months in my life.

Whatever is supposed to be happening with this sub it isn't, I really have little motivation or power, just living day to day and feeling flat. I thought with over a year on EPRAH 2 and now onto LTU I would be flying?!

I'll carry on, but currently only just keeping my nose above water.

For some posts I wish there was an "unlike" button, this is one of them. Not sure if you can afford it, but have you considered running DMSI since it is the most powerful sub healing wise right now like Shannon is suggesting?

Stay away please.

I didn't mean anything wrong ...I just meant that I don't like it that after a year on E2 someone still feels this bad..but ok, I'll stay away.

Apologies Cataleya, I took the post the wrong way. Sorry im a bit sensitive at the moment.

[Jake2015]

Thanks for checking in. I'm not as bad as I was, but I'm still not in a good place. Pretty much just had the most unproductive couple of months in my life.

Whatever is supposed to be happening with this sub it isn't, I really have little motivation or power, just living day to day and feeling flat. I thought with over a year on EPRAH 2 and now onto LTU I would be flying?!

I'll carry on, but currently only just keeping my nose above water.

For some posts I wish there was an "unlike" button, this is one of them. Not sure if you can afford it, but have you considered running DMSI since it is the most powerful sub healing wise right now like Shannon is suggesting?

Stay away please.

I didn't mean anything wrong ...I just meant that I don't like it that after a year on E2 someone still feels this bad..but ok, I'll stay away.

Apologies Cataleya, I took the post the wrong way. Sorry im a bit sensitive at the moment.

May I ask, after a year on E2, what has actually cleared and how much has actually cleared or has nothing changed at all? After a year this is concerning as I after 48days didn't notice anything but thought I would need longer and yet you've been on it for a year. I did think when E2 was released that it was to be the greatest sub of all time so surely after a year something MUST have cleared no?

[ArcticFox]

For some posts I wish there was an "unlike" button, this is one of them. Not sure if you can afford it, but have you considered running DMSI since it is the most powerful sub healing wise right now like Shannon is suggesting?

Stay away please.

I didn't mean anything wrong ...I just meant that I don't like it that after a year on E2 someone still feels this bad..but ok, I'll stay away.

Apologies Cataleya, I took the post the wrong way. Sorry im a bit sensitive at the moment.

May I ask, after a year on E2, what has actually cleared and how much has actually cleared or has nothing changed at all? After a year this is concerning as I after 48days didn't notice anything but thought I would need longer and yet you've been on it for a year. I did think when E2 was released that it was to be the greatest sub of all time so surely after a year something MUST have cleared no?

Without going too much into it, it's like Shannon posted above "Its HARDCORE resistance".

E2 has done great work but I'm at a stage where I'm not happy, and it is just that: a stage. There where times over the last year that E2 was the best thing ever, and I posted the good times in my Journal. But there will be bad times, and this is one of them for me - it just been a while so I'm throwing my toys out of the pram a bit!

Its at these times where i need to try a few things to get me back on track and they are normally things I need to kickstart like more exercise, better diet.

Once I've finished my 1st month on LTU i will look into how to run the DMSI-A as Shannon suggested above, I may continue with LTU for another 2 months and switch to the Stream track, and maybe back onto ultrasonic (but that will require different speakers) then do DMSI-A.