04-20-2017, 05:42 AM
Day 16 or so:
Who cares about DMSI, 2 weeks (6th this month) since "scoring" alone. Holy fucking SHIT. This is the first time since I discovered I have a dick and can get up.
To explain in plain terms, I have a very high drive in bed. I simply transform and leave the human part at the door if I like her. I become the most primal beeing without me wanting.
That's my problem, I connected with my EX at the most primal level which is deep imbeded in my core. She was my match in bed; not sex literaly, like that connection, raw, pure, passion. I fuck like a God, she was my submissive servant in bed. Ready to welcome me and give her self with whole her beeing (no, its not about oral / anal). That's why she derailed me so hard.
While in vertical position, she was the most moody bitchy woman (I belive that she was testing the shit out of me).
Once at horizontal, a different story.
Masturbation is quite different, its night and day compared to what's in my soul. I feed on my partener's energy once we engage. I feel, I connect. If I care and like what I see, I become raw, pure, basic and the sex is on another level.
Last month ago I tought "She is pure but she lost her ways" (I also did my share of mistakes, fair is fair).
This month "Yo Andrei, you're white knighting". I think I don't have to say more than this.
There's no damsel in distress, whoever wants to follow, I lead. I begin to pursue what's inside me.
On the DMSI side of things:
No idea, still no pussy. Well, if that's the goal.
What I can tell is that I am more nice to my mom, I let things "slip" and I know when I am doing it; but I pause when I don't tolerate shit, pause... and let it slip. I am not aggressive like I used to, I am more clam and more "aware"; let's say that its some sort of whisdom. Maybe I pamper my self too much, I let shit slip for the sake of ... she's old you know, certain age, maybe she'll live 20 years more; its my responsability now since I am more aware.
Who cares about DMSI, 2 weeks (6th this month) since "scoring" alone. Holy fucking SHIT. This is the first time since I discovered I have a dick and can get up.
To explain in plain terms, I have a very high drive in bed. I simply transform and leave the human part at the door if I like her. I become the most primal beeing without me wanting.
That's my problem, I connected with my EX at the most primal level which is deep imbeded in my core. She was my match in bed; not sex literaly, like that connection, raw, pure, passion. I fuck like a God, she was my submissive servant in bed. Ready to welcome me and give her self with whole her beeing (no, its not about oral / anal). That's why she derailed me so hard.
While in vertical position, she was the most moody bitchy woman (I belive that she was testing the shit out of me).
Once at horizontal, a different story.
Masturbation is quite different, its night and day compared to what's in my soul. I feed on my partener's energy once we engage. I feel, I connect. If I care and like what I see, I become raw, pure, basic and the sex is on another level.
Last month ago I tought "She is pure but she lost her ways" (I also did my share of mistakes, fair is fair).
This month "Yo Andrei, you're white knighting". I think I don't have to say more than this.
There's no damsel in distress, whoever wants to follow, I lead. I begin to pursue what's inside me.
On the DMSI side of things:
No idea, still no pussy. Well, if that's the goal.
What I can tell is that I am more nice to my mom, I let things "slip" and I know when I am doing it; but I pause when I don't tolerate shit, pause... and let it slip. I am not aggressive like I used to, I am more clam and more "aware"; let's say that its some sort of whisdom. Maybe I pamper my self too much, I let shit slip for the sake of ... she's old you know, certain age, maybe she'll live 20 years more; its my responsability now since I am more aware.
