Stage 5, Day 14
The emotional theme for this stage seems to be frustration; frustration with the way things are, in my finances, in my relating with women. I was at work, and I was frankly sick and tired of it. I had to tap away those feelings twice in the work washroom (I wonder what someone on the outside hears when I'm taping..).
On my way home, I did my groceries, and got my cheat day stuff. Then I made sure to practice both voice and guitar (between roughly 7:50 and 11:00. Then I ironed my shirt and went to the club to meet with my program friends. I had to wait in line for one hour, but I chatted with people from my program in another university (there was a big convention, and I'm only attending the "after-party". We finally get in, and I see two of my friends (colleagues), one is one of the girls I had mentioned back in Stage 3. She kept giving me signs of interest, which is strange, given that she has a boyfriend. She's a petite brunette, and petite brunettes are mentionned in my 'story'.
This is the most interesting part; I used the club as an amplifier of my state. I used it to feel even better, and to not let things like status or flaunting affect me. I started to feel pretty great. One girl gave me the 'come hither' finger, and I obliged. She basically wanted to tell me that I looked (dressed?) great. That was really nice of her, though I wasn't particularly interested in her. Clubs are fun! I never would've thought that until now, and I'm 100% sober.
Now, I'm back at my apartment, and I'm settling down for tomorrow. Cheat day, after all.
The emotional theme for this stage seems to be frustration; frustration with the way things are, in my finances, in my relating with women. I was at work, and I was frankly sick and tired of it. I had to tap away those feelings twice in the work washroom (I wonder what someone on the outside hears when I'm taping..).
On my way home, I did my groceries, and got my cheat day stuff. Then I made sure to practice both voice and guitar (between roughly 7:50 and 11:00. Then I ironed my shirt and went to the club to meet with my program friends. I had to wait in line for one hour, but I chatted with people from my program in another university (there was a big convention, and I'm only attending the "after-party". We finally get in, and I see two of my friends (colleagues), one is one of the girls I had mentioned back in Stage 3. She kept giving me signs of interest, which is strange, given that she has a boyfriend. She's a petite brunette, and petite brunettes are mentionned in my 'story'.
This is the most interesting part; I used the club as an amplifier of my state. I used it to feel even better, and to not let things like status or flaunting affect me. I started to feel pretty great. One girl gave me the 'come hither' finger, and I obliged. She basically wanted to tell me that I looked (dressed?) great. That was really nice of her, though I wasn't particularly interested in her. Clubs are fun! I never would've thought that until now, and I'm 100% sober.
Now, I'm back at my apartment, and I'm settling down for tomorrow. Cheat day, after all.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
