Ampers&'s Alpha Male Journal [COMPLETE]

[Ampersnd]

Stage 3, Day 23(24),

This might get a bit confusing, but since my female friend slept over, so I didn't play it. The whole day, I was at work and then at a gala.

By the way, I've had a FWB relationship with this woman, and she's newly single. We've never had intercourse, but we've done oral. She had to go to campus early the next day (I live near our campus)
So... my female friend comes over, we watch a movie, we cuddle, I get friendly, she says with her back to me (we were cuddling) "Dan... I know what you're doing..".

I say: "And what's that?"
She says: "You're trying to kiss me/hook up (I forget)"
I say plainly: "What do you think about that?"
She turns her head and says softly and reluctantly: "This is a bad idea.."
I reply: "I know"; I know that she gave me token resistance, and I move in.

And we kiss. And we make out. And this time, the kissing is so much more sweet and filled with sexual chemistry from the last time.
We ultimately got naked from the waist up and stopped after 20 minutes or so of playing around.
Her logic to not go any further was: "Friends don't give friends blowjobs, but maybe later" (?).

We had several moments of simply staring in each others eyes (much less cheezy than that sounds), and there were a couple of pretty hot moments. I didn't cum, so I'm a bit riled up.

We get ready for bed, and sleep through the night. The cool thing is that we both slept topless, so I had my feel of bare skin and C-cup breasts when I felt like it. We were lazing it up in the morning, and we start right back up again.

I accomodate her until she's out of my house, and I relax until work.

Work went relatively well; I practiced moving up the emotional scale. I should explain; I spent some time reading Esther and Jerry Hick's book before my female friend came over.

Now.. here's the interesting part. I attended a gala right after work. I was dressed for the occasion, and I got to the event at the exact time, so it was nearly empty.

I open up a conversation with the first few people, and I start to get the ball rolling and introduce people with other people.

I open up sitting groups of 3-4 girls, mixed groups, couples. I'm good enough to that I have people offering to have me sit at their table for supper. I keep doing this until supper is about to start; the friends in my program (4 of them) show up, and I sit with them, giving up the seat I had chosen to let others sit together as a group.

I felt like the fucking man. People were being friendly, and always providing some conversation. I had some girls giving me eye contact.

This changes when the supper ends and the loud club music and dark lights go on, and the girls are dancing. I danced a bit, and actually grabbed a couple of girls and danced with them briefly. But I wasn't feeling like the man; I was hesitant and not fully acting, and I reckon that women were picking that up. You pay dearly for being a pussy with women. I was still getting positive eye contact, but when I'd say "hi", they would say "hi", and not do much else.

I walked home, and left early. I only gave my information to two women; one asked me, the other I said that she should add me on Facebook.

This is both a learning experience, and a current cap on my social abilities. They are MUCH better than what I would've had before Stage 1. Tonight, I play AM exclusively.

The moral of the day: It's easy to feel confident and have a good day when you have titties for breakfast.