Stage 6, Day 27,
I believe that I've becoming increasingly conservative in political opinion, and I'm having a difficulty in reconciling how I will approach my goals and my life with a new road map that substitutes my older one.
I also realize how much I've been a dipshit. Of course, I was 19-21, and thought I knew it all. I keep realizing that I can learn more, but I wonder what I should learn 'more of', if I'll enjoy learning these things, and if I'll be rewarded appropriately for learning these things.
Much like the last run, I've experienced a sense of angst in stage 6 that turns me inward and has me questioning the state of the world. I'm watching a lot of opinionated videos from Captain Capitalism, the smooth logical approach from Milo Yannopoulis, and revisited the MTGOW (or however it's spelled) concept. Being in the middle of Freud's "Civilization and its Discontents" isn't helping either, as I believe that I'm subconsciously seeking out a roadmap to reality, and how the world 'really works'.
This includes having thought experiments that would make the average person have a knee jerk reaction from social programming. Not sure if I want to post any here. I am an INTJ (as I found out a few weeks ago), I do have an emotional investment in my opinions, but I'm still personally not learn'ed enough in logic to back them up 100% of the time, which I really should be doing. Plus, they're changing a lot, which means that I feel like that snowman in the snowglobe, with snow particles flying all around it.
I even hear myself affirming, with some conviction, a dialectical statement that I've heard some hardcore political figure say in the past. A few years ago, I would have simply cast it to the side, thinking that he's simply wrong for not being xx. Now, I understand the logic behind it, and can understand how someone can think that way, and not be completely evil..
Anyways, Stage 6 doesn't ease on the pressure; I think it really pushes you until the very end.
It's 11pm, and I'm tired and can't focus. Sleep soon. I will finish the subliminal the same day that I present my cumulative case study.
I believe that I've becoming increasingly conservative in political opinion, and I'm having a difficulty in reconciling how I will approach my goals and my life with a new road map that substitutes my older one.
I also realize how much I've been a dipshit. Of course, I was 19-21, and thought I knew it all. I keep realizing that I can learn more, but I wonder what I should learn 'more of', if I'll enjoy learning these things, and if I'll be rewarded appropriately for learning these things.
Much like the last run, I've experienced a sense of angst in stage 6 that turns me inward and has me questioning the state of the world. I'm watching a lot of opinionated videos from Captain Capitalism, the smooth logical approach from Milo Yannopoulis, and revisited the MTGOW (or however it's spelled) concept. Being in the middle of Freud's "Civilization and its Discontents" isn't helping either, as I believe that I'm subconsciously seeking out a roadmap to reality, and how the world 'really works'.
This includes having thought experiments that would make the average person have a knee jerk reaction from social programming. Not sure if I want to post any here. I am an INTJ (as I found out a few weeks ago), I do have an emotional investment in my opinions, but I'm still personally not learn'ed enough in logic to back them up 100% of the time, which I really should be doing. Plus, they're changing a lot, which means that I feel like that snowman in the snowglobe, with snow particles flying all around it.
I even hear myself affirming, with some conviction, a dialectical statement that I've heard some hardcore political figure say in the past. A few years ago, I would have simply cast it to the side, thinking that he's simply wrong for not being xx. Now, I understand the logic behind it, and can understand how someone can think that way, and not be completely evil..
Anyways, Stage 6 doesn't ease on the pressure; I think it really pushes you until the very end.
It's 11pm, and I'm tired and can't focus. Sleep soon. I will finish the subliminal the same day that I present my cumulative case study.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
