03-12-2015, 06:36 PM
Stage 3, Day 3,
Well, shit. Had a busy work day today, and then it was my final evaluation.
Turns out that I didn't improve enough, and I failed this internship.
Though I saw what my boss meant for certain things, I didn't fully agree with the points against me, so my colleague suggested that I go talk with my professor on campus. I go to the offices and notice the one that's there around 5:15pm. The professor went through it, and she agreed that it was grounds for a failure. I have two more internships. If I fail another, I get kicked out of the program.
My present failure means that I might have to go back next year to do it. If I was in denial during the ride to see the prof, then I quickly transitioned to grief. Before I knew it, I was bawling my eyes out in her office, using up all the Kleenex. Both my boss and the professor asked me if I'd ever been diagnosed with a learning disability. Then, she urged me to call a center at my university that specializes in these sorts of matters. This might truly be a part of me that I've not been made aware until now.
I stayed there until about 6:15; I felt bad about holding her up. I'm pretty destroyed emotionally right now. Only did some singing warmups, but I've let 4 hours fly by without doing too much besides showering and eating a little bit, watching YouTube videos in the interim.
My motivation is low and I'm not feeling emotionally stable. This is a big wave that I'll have to ride out. I will figure this out one way or another.
Well, shit. Had a busy work day today, and then it was my final evaluation.
Turns out that I didn't improve enough, and I failed this internship.
Though I saw what my boss meant for certain things, I didn't fully agree with the points against me, so my colleague suggested that I go talk with my professor on campus. I go to the offices and notice the one that's there around 5:15pm. The professor went through it, and she agreed that it was grounds for a failure. I have two more internships. If I fail another, I get kicked out of the program.
My present failure means that I might have to go back next year to do it. If I was in denial during the ride to see the prof, then I quickly transitioned to grief. Before I knew it, I was bawling my eyes out in her office, using up all the Kleenex. Both my boss and the professor asked me if I'd ever been diagnosed with a learning disability. Then, she urged me to call a center at my university that specializes in these sorts of matters. This might truly be a part of me that I've not been made aware until now.
I stayed there until about 6:15; I felt bad about holding her up. I'm pretty destroyed emotionally right now. Only did some singing warmups, but I've let 4 hours fly by without doing too much besides showering and eating a little bit, watching YouTube videos in the interim.
My motivation is low and I'm not feeling emotionally stable. This is a big wave that I'll have to ride out. I will figure this out one way or another.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
