Am 6.0 first run

[Kol]

Grow more and more dislike to using words like "hot girls". As Im going out tomorrow for some stuff its perfect oppurtunity to open groups and do some infield game. Im driven for that.
Also had the thought that women hate pussies this morning.

Am also thinking as to how I hesitate and that shit has to go tbh. It feels already old and fun keeps increasing, which must have to do with the sub. Non closing is way to shallow. Feel like going on an rampage tomorrow. Its like the old fucking patterns that its that, its surfacing and finally let go.

What AM also does is undo lots of stuff, including pua stuff, its crazy. Like, becoming this clean alpha slate or something. being totally open and uncaring in all of that. making it all fun and games. learning in experience aswell and cathcing up ques from the women I just talked with, just to test the waters and learn. great. Now, its basically just fear thats causing the regressing and is all in my head like thinking to much and what to do next. Just flow. Socializing as fun and outcome independence.

Had some big anger coming up aswell, not hiding it tho. Just like the whole situation pissed me off, everything becoming some sort of target and what not.

With each experience this hesitation and scenarios in my head are pushed its ugly head in, revealing it to be bullshit. making all experience an learning thing basically. Being present. No longer learning from books, but rather from doing it.
No hiding of sexuality but naturally flowing, through eye contact, it came up in my head but decided to look what it would result in. Outcome independace yet able to click easily. The girl at the checkout who is normally more closed off, was more open, environment responses differently aswell. Im feeling like an king basically.

I am laughing so hard right now how the terms nightgame and daygame dont make sense, and how much is clicking right now. Thank you Shannon.

[Kol]

stage 2 day 5

Manifestation has begun. Seeing way more attractive women in my area and AM makes me solely pay attention to them. the rest is blocked out. My eye contact is strong yet I dont care. Looking in my own eyes in the mirror i notice some strong force, like its very intense, yet I experience it almost as empty at times.
Im not fully open yet and could escalate with an women who was sniffing my arm and did it multiple times and even asked it, it was Obvious. made some short talk with other people. Women are just normal now, I dont care really about them any more, getting my shit done and no time for them. Some look at me first from afar and then look down and smile submissively like they sense my subconscious or something.the women at the fragrance store almost claimed the attention while I approached some hotter girls there, like jumping to the front and being all over me. Could hug and kiss close but didnt.

Social anxiety has reduced massively, signed up for the gym, made eye contact with the woman behond the desk.

I dont feel much right now, dont care much right now. reduction in negative selftalk is strong aswell. Am taking the lead more and people like to be chatted up.

Some side thoughts. Dont ask permission nor seek validation. be the leader and fuck societal programming. I dont give a shit if its out there and people arent used to it. I know Im still having issues to work on, like I seem to hesitate still. Be in the lead and dont let her set the frame. By doing so it shows. Also by agreeing with them it shows an lack of time value.

Notice the blond girl at the hairdresser was attracted due her bodylanguage. My eyes kept solid as fuck when shifting to the dark girl next to her, locking eyes, It was like I penetrated hers and she smiled, like it triggered her.

I simply dont care and am slight annoyed for some reason, like more hostile. Anxiety is much more under control and wont let it dominate me.

[wolverine_i_am]

Stage 2 was also the stage where I began to alpha up.

[Kol]

Stage 2 was also the stage where I began to alpha up.

Awesome, loving stage 2 so far aswell.

[Kol]

Hit some rage today and had anger surface. Some memory popped up from my childhood that might´ve been an block since then which now feels lifted. Good. Breakthrough. I only grow more and more. Not going to write more as I feel writing might cause me to revert in ways. feeling more free and open. It clear that some fears held-hold me back which are based on nothing but internal state and past experiences.

Read more from Blackdragons book and about mission and money and how it ´should´be approached as an lifestyle which clicked. being independent and being self/sufficient in all areas of my life eventually. Its an process, not an goal. Incorporating and responsibility.

Also Im getting more aggressive and my presence feels increasingly intense. Danger as being something coming with it instead of being nice guy. More sweary.

[wolverine_i_am]

I remember that happening to me in stage 1. There were things I hadn't fully let go, so it came to me in a dream. It hit me a bit, but I let go of it a few hours later. I realised it was AM6 doing it's job and making me deal with unresolved issues.

[Kol]

I remember that happening to me in stage 1. There were things I hadn't fully let go, so it came to me in a dream. It hit me a bit, but I let go of it a few hours later. I realised it was AM6 doing it's job and making me deal with unresolved issues.

yeah I released almost instantly, like an aha moment.

[Kol]

Nothing feels right, everything feels wrong, anger surfacing making me very restless. Giving to much shit about people and realized that when I went out, my whole head is cloudy and am somewhat pretty emotional currently. Not the same doom as on ASc but an overwhelm yet knowing this will pass somewhat. I just cant stand myself nor anything at this very moment which fucks me up.
Very needy aswell but not wanting to express that shit. Fucking hell. Everything can right fuck off.

* insert colom of swearing words here *

Had some eye contact with an women who initiated that from an mile afar. I just swing from one side to another and feel like an fucking beta even writing this. Fuck.

Will add an extra listening hour today because of this.

[Illumi]

Bad mood swings usually means something is working, i as well fell lost at the moment but im sure ill plow through this like always and each time i do i feel stronger and hungrier for more

[Kol]

stage 2 day 8

Having multiple women in my life as an base need fits and might be influenced by BD's book. Not caring anyways, but recognize how this might kill off neediness. Notice when chatting with several women at the same time and having option by reflecting back, I indeed balanced out a bit and even had an attitude of "just stop for a minute, i value my time aswell", like its an sort of side effect and no big deal. I realize I have had women in my life all the time.. I value my time. Its an understanding, not some desperate beta trait of actually needing, but rather drawing in, magnetic. Same goes from other areas in my life. I remember reading on this forums that someone wrote down about how it doesnt matter in the frame of "if I have ten women in my life, does she matter?" ofcourse not. Cultivate this abundance mentality.

Increasingly hostile to the idea of some boss commanding me and working for some boss. It rubs the wrong way and the thought is met with an strong opposition and an "no", dont tell me what to do attitude. Now transforming this is something to work on. Also am aware as to how I tend to want to stay in an upbeat mood, while the other side and asshole side is not something to be pushed away. Embrace the whole spectrum.

People treat me differently and startle when being in an IDGAF mode or rather being more uninhibited and just present when making eye contact and socialize.

Currently stuff comes up again. Had some confidence breakthroughs this morning. Im rather angry. Embrace it.

Shame around hygiëne and grooming is reduced pretty clear. Putting myself out there. Its an accepted reality now and something speaking for itself and incorporated.

Going to master music, part of having my stuff in order and what I listen to.

Notice an friend gets more clingy and it somewhat annoys me aswell. Told him off when I had enough but he kept going. I'm valueing my time much more right now, lots of stuff I'm no longer intersted in and my time is more of value then that. To be focussed on what matters to me, instead of TV, movies and the stuff. Im looking rather at it now as something insignificant and can barely watch it. My interest is directly gone.

Loads of fears are faced. Also crappy scheraios are an building foundation of rising my life up to the skies and optimal independent outcome. Noticing I am pretty logical and wanting to stick to the facts I have. Am reviewing my life again and sense surge of confidence building inside and awesomeness. Taking life back to myself. makes me somewhat think about these millionairs who give to the world in an way, which will pay off again. An total shift in outlook.

[Kol]

No fap day 7, porn is behind me now. The benefits are much more beneficial then the few seconds of pleasure. feeling way more confident and energized, buildin g up and rising.

After lots of of stuff coming up yesterday, I had an breakthrough in terms of leading and setting the frame. Forcefull, masculine and strong. Getting more judgemental aswell.Went out to the grocerystore ton get some stuff and was very wobbly but didm seem to present more solid in an way, as if it didnt match up. made some short talk while not being in the mood at all. Feel an pressure and push internal. The girl behind the checkout was somewhat more open in body language, and I didnt care one bit. have some memories coming up with girls in the past.

Being financial self sufficient is something very important or me now and an must even. Goal, process, lifestyle.

Did watch the fast and the furious and noticed the main character played by vindiesel was pretty alpha in his ways, interesting how I dodnt noticed or grasped that obvious display before.

Seeing possibilities everywhere and realize how fear is an limitation and how I have some garbage programming around sales and becoming financial independent. fear being released is by not getting caught up in it but becoming observant about it, like, detached to it. has to be AM.

[Kol]

Eye contact gets more solid, I can look people in the eys without having second thought for prolongued time. Did some touch with an girl at work. No big deal. treating it as such will translate that to hers. She didnt mind it, giggles all over. Was more open aswell at work and social. people get more touchy aswell. had some women at the store shout hey in an greeting way from afar.
It really doesnt matter, being so open and warmed up causes an momentum to go, rolling. Some older women at the checkout I made eye contact with. pretty dark eyes although green. she held it longer, pretty strong, which I like.

EWomen and people qualify themselves to me. I am still to needy at times and pushy, some old stuff and behaviours perhaps. To relax in the moment is great, I now notice im trying to hard at times. Women seem to be generally more chatty when chatting with them, like, whole stories, as to why's and what not. Notice also women eying me when Im not fully turned to them, the girl at work multiple times. Shes pretty cute in that but it doesnt stick in my mind. Its just an event.

Was more flirty with random people. made me think aswell about the win win close for both parties. using an we causes bonding to happen and sets the moment tone and frame. Some great insight. Its like not even being in my head but instantly going. To be able to pick and choose as i want. There are lots of dots to start an convo from and being in the moment, having perhaps some part of my mind being shut down due multiple approaches and crossing of old lines makes me able to proceed further. One is pointing out some stuff the women is wearing, or an baby, or the environment, it doesnt matter. Simply commenting on "nice eyes"is just some old shit which she mightve heard before countless times and is so shallow.

Now, cold approach is something to be working at, when not being in an warmed up state.

made the whole line at the store laugh aswell.

Im talking with my whole body aswell. Handgestures ( hehehe ) and general animated.What I do notice is that people take an certain stance and qualify that way.

Im noticing no fear or tremble or anxiety in the presence of women/girls aswell. had 2 of them at work sitting next to me with me in the middle triggering further attraction, making flawless eye contact. fears have no basis and whatever it is, is an lie. it in invincible vulnerability. Even the women leading the business did wink to me and came close on purpose today. its like all so fleeing yet profound. One shot, let this be the fuell. This certain struckness I experience when seeing someone I like is slowly turned to an urge to approach and going with it. In the end its only myself that stops me.

"i am the prize"

[Kol]

had some massive anger yesterday which translated into my body shaking and wanting to tear the environment apart. I did not hide it, its was very strong, made me almost grind my teeth. I did notice that this anger did not caused me to turn away eye contact, but rather giving people strong looks and destroyed caring when talking. It was more genuine probably, driven by pure anger, not giving an fuck about the other persons feelings, more free in an way tho stress levels went through the roof. It did made me more dominant and real, when being this angry and bulldozering over her frame. made me somehow feel like I reduced her? Strange.

came across MGTOW/red pill stuff which caused an internal shift and insight in how betas dont value their time, go directly for the compliment and qualify themselves to women. This stuff is more subtle, more on the bodylanguage and action level instead of obvious praising. An turning tables kind of thing, holding of the boat and all that jazz. Setting the frame instead of being sucked into hers. Being not so available and holding ones time and mission into focus.

Pulled through with some obsessions and how it is rooted in fear.

My social anxiety has been reduced dramatically and I cant remember what it was, its like no longer in my mind. Moving on kind off. Stage 2 seems to focus on self validation, confidence, socilizing and rising myself up further.

Also, cesar milan the dog whisperer has some great stuff to learn from. have an women messaging me again which did contact me before I runned this sub and tbh, I dont have time for her. She didnt resp[ect me to begin with and such behaviour should not be rewarded but punished. like trained. I see it all around me, "guys" who put the pussy on the pedestal and giving "their girl" space, instead of punishing her and not putting up with her shit. No wonder their life goes to shit, degrade those Princesses, giving their women power over them to end up being their lapdog. Its just sad and humiliating to withness.

[Kol]

no fap day 10
stage 2 day 12

Shift in need of multiplde women in my life and fucking multiple women in my life. Vey outgoing and confident. Going to hit the gym again today, recognizing it and accepting it as an need.
Also not going to keep an routine today but letting AM kick in further, and act on it.

Im pretty much coming in contact with lots of women, why I was oblivious to this before, i dont know, has to be the sub opening myself up to this reality and forcing me to accept this reality. drowning in women, lol. have some depression and insecurities aswell as anxiety coming up. Some woman stared from afar at the gym, greeted another set, she smiled but was shy.

In an way I begin to love this anxiety and stuff coming up. Unsure why.
Getting an new haircut today, goal is aswell having numbers in my phone so I can hit up when traveling-not at home. Its clearly some fear around that.

my ears seem to be stuffed. Hope its not related to the ultrasonic.