day 17 stage 1
Met up with some friends yesterday. Was more short tempered. When one of us took his Phone I directly called him out on it. Another is I seem to get more physical agressive and harsh. It made me closed off aswell, silent. realized that neediness was surfacing, negativity played out and surfaced. I did not tolerate bullshit or what I perceived as bullshit. it just came out. Anger and issues of what didnt really bother me before suddenly do. I was wondering why that took so long
Im aswell setting some boundaries. Im going to give up on smoking as it sends me down into an negative spiral of anxiety and racing thoughts. When I stand behind my choice its as if there is an AM breakthrough happening.
Time valueing also increaes and makes me feel at times that I overvalue it in an way, like making it an obsessive priority, and the racing thoughts are very present at times.
Im shifting in music. Music has an influence on the mind and am going to make it work for me. Could be something I picked up along the road from Christian Mcqueen but I dont really care.
Rejection doesnt phase me at all. Its not existing in my mind or it suddenly fuells me like the old days when following pua stuff and cory skyy stuff in going out, approach, throw away sets and all that jazz. other then that, im still somewhat struggling with approaching but could be to harsh on myself from that as I tend to tense up instead of relax. Its pretty much off balance all in all. Going from lows to hights.
On another note; more stuff seems to become somewhat an waste of time. which triggers feelings of being trapped. It makes me increasingly uncomfortable and feels like time slows down to an point that I have to go. I cant stand it.
Going to buy blazers when my financials are in order. plan is to have multiple income streams and being more orderly in it at all. Something I can do. cleared out my wardrobe already and what i dont wear/need goes.
Cleaning up my home ( will eventually move on towards another home ) is satisfying. Im generally more aware of this.
Being more ordered in general. Discipline. Weeding out along the way.
Met up with some friends yesterday. Was more short tempered. When one of us took his Phone I directly called him out on it. Another is I seem to get more physical agressive and harsh. It made me closed off aswell, silent. realized that neediness was surfacing, negativity played out and surfaced. I did not tolerate bullshit or what I perceived as bullshit. it just came out. Anger and issues of what didnt really bother me before suddenly do. I was wondering why that took so long
Im aswell setting some boundaries. Im going to give up on smoking as it sends me down into an negative spiral of anxiety and racing thoughts. When I stand behind my choice its as if there is an AM breakthrough happening.
Time valueing also increaes and makes me feel at times that I overvalue it in an way, like making it an obsessive priority, and the racing thoughts are very present at times.
Im shifting in music. Music has an influence on the mind and am going to make it work for me. Could be something I picked up along the road from Christian Mcqueen but I dont really care.
Rejection doesnt phase me at all. Its not existing in my mind or it suddenly fuells me like the old days when following pua stuff and cory skyy stuff in going out, approach, throw away sets and all that jazz. other then that, im still somewhat struggling with approaching but could be to harsh on myself from that as I tend to tense up instead of relax. Its pretty much off balance all in all. Going from lows to hights.
On another note; more stuff seems to become somewhat an waste of time. which triggers feelings of being trapped. It makes me increasingly uncomfortable and feels like time slows down to an point that I have to go. I cant stand it.
Going to buy blazers when my financials are in order. plan is to have multiple income streams and being more orderly in it at all. Something I can do. cleared out my wardrobe already and what i dont wear/need goes.
Cleaning up my home ( will eventually move on towards another home ) is satisfying. Im generally more aware of this.
Being more ordered in general. Discipline. Weeding out along the way.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
