09-19-2010, 08:29 PM
Thank you K-train for defining that term for me. I had a hunch it had to do with not taking proper action and lo and behold, what you said pretty much fits that to a T.
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I had what I can call a "bad" dream I guess last night. I was doing something and I spotted a girl (that works in a different dept.) w/ floor cleaning pads and I was giving her the what for about them. She took offense (got smart w/ me) and an argument broke out, with me dropping the F bomb and flipping the bird and whatnot.
Well, after that dream, I was awake and couldn't get back to sleep so I spent most of the earlier part of the morning in an angry-ish mood.
I'm betting the dream has a lot to do with the previous feelings I had toward women in the past (weren't very good, obviously).
All is good now, however. In a crazy way, I'm glad this [angry] stuff via the subliminal is washing up to be released instead of being held in or trampled down and swept under the proverbial rug.
This crap has to come out before I can move forward!
Despite me being tired and groggy today (functioning on less than 5 hours of sleep isn't very fun), I had a rather good day. I was more or less in a "devil may care" type of mood for the majority of the day. I thought of stuff that I watch on a frequent basis (Mst3k) to make me laugh and get in a good mood.
And also, there is a part of me that is wanting to be a major @sshole to women. I have to watch that little demon because I don't want to hurt anyone.
I'm catching myself doing things that previously would have slipped by that I wound consider now to be "validating" behaviour. I wrote a good deal in my private journal on my computer as I played the sub mixed in with some upbeat 1980's tunes earlier today before I left for work.
Also, it may be a Jedi mind trick my subconscious is playing on me but for some odd reason, I seem to get slightly better results from my full sized headphones vs. the speakers. The headphones in question are the classic Sony MDR-V6 (excellent sounding 'phones!!). The speakers in my bedroom are obviously up to the task due to the fact I have crazy @ss dreams the majority of nights.
Bring on the final week of stage 1!
____________________________________________________________
I had what I can call a "bad" dream I guess last night. I was doing something and I spotted a girl (that works in a different dept.) w/ floor cleaning pads and I was giving her the what for about them. She took offense (got smart w/ me) and an argument broke out, with me dropping the F bomb and flipping the bird and whatnot.
Well, after that dream, I was awake and couldn't get back to sleep so I spent most of the earlier part of the morning in an angry-ish mood.
I'm betting the dream has a lot to do with the previous feelings I had toward women in the past (weren't very good, obviously).
All is good now, however. In a crazy way, I'm glad this [angry] stuff via the subliminal is washing up to be released instead of being held in or trampled down and swept under the proverbial rug.
This crap has to come out before I can move forward!
Despite me being tired and groggy today (functioning on less than 5 hours of sleep isn't very fun), I had a rather good day. I was more or less in a "devil may care" type of mood for the majority of the day. I thought of stuff that I watch on a frequent basis (Mst3k) to make me laugh and get in a good mood.
And also, there is a part of me that is wanting to be a major @sshole to women. I have to watch that little demon because I don't want to hurt anyone.
I'm catching myself doing things that previously would have slipped by that I wound consider now to be "validating" behaviour. I wrote a good deal in my private journal on my computer as I played the sub mixed in with some upbeat 1980's tunes earlier today before I left for work.
Also, it may be a Jedi mind trick my subconscious is playing on me but for some odd reason, I seem to get slightly better results from my full sized headphones vs. the speakers. The headphones in question are the classic Sony MDR-V6 (excellent sounding 'phones!!). The speakers in my bedroom are obviously up to the task due to the fact I have crazy @ss dreams the majority of nights.
Bring on the final week of stage 1!
Get your pickles!!!
