Alpha Woceyes 1

[woceyes]

lol yeah you did Ron

funny thing happened today at work.

One of the clients (the handicap, a higher functioning one) that i work with brought in some roses to give to my "fiancee" well she was not at work today. So he gave them to her friend the other girl i flirt with just not as heavy.

I guess he has a crush or something on her and when i found out that is the reason he brought the roses i joked with my friend about saying to him that shes my "fiancee" just to see his reaction. We never did because its nice of him to give them to her and most likely make her day and takes a whole lot to do it in front of everyone like he was planning.

That of course didn't stop another friend of mine who asked him about the roses and giving it to her. He got all defensive and said they were for her daughter who is 6... Then he gos besides i hear shes engaged to Tony ...

I can't help but feel bad at his discouragement because of the joke between her and i but at the same time i can't help but laugh at how evil this thing turned out im horrible i know but its still funny. Ill have to talk to him about it Monday and make sure he understands it is a joke.

[Spiral]

That would be very good of you woceyes. I would do the same thing.

[woceyes]

20 days into stage 5.

It seems this stage has brought up issues deeper then before but only pertaining to certain things. I have noticed a few things. I wont lie it brought up some deep rooted stuff to the extinct of me waking up angry and having to think in a positive thought. this occurred at 4 am last Saturday.

I seem even more able to say what i want with out really caring
I feel more aggressive but controlled
I seem to be talking a lot more as well as flirting or being a general smart A**
A lot more witty
no nervousness at all when talking to women i am interested in
hardly any social anxiety
I seem to have greater presence then previous stages
I also seem to be happier with my self and who i am as a person

theses are most likely all through out the set it just seems to be showing now. It feels like stage five is a push your comfort zone stage. I kept dreaming and having feelings to touch people and push interactions.

Till next update later..

[woceyes]

Well yesterday was interesting... Actually this whole week has been interesting Warning wall of text

Ill start off with the client who brought roses in to work for my Fiancee. I talked to him and of course he tried to deny why he brought them in. I just laughed told him about the whole joking thing. This of course made him a little more cheerful. I did tell him that bringing in flowers at work to a girl takes courage and commended him on this feat. This of course made him all excited for his bravery and my complement. Mind you he is a higher functioning client. The next day he was saying how he knew all a long and blah blah blah. I of course talked to him about it a bit and then he starts trying to qualify him self to me by bragging about everything he dose outside of work every time he would say something he would look at me like i should complement him. I of coursed didn't heck i was on my phone reading these forums lol.

Now yesterday one of the guys i work with who was friends with benefits with my "fiancee" asked me if i hooked up with her yet. I laughed and said no im still a noob when it comes to this stuff. Then he starts asking me when i was going out drinking again. Then he to started saying how him and i are a lot a like (quite guys in school who all the women wanted). I laughed and said im not sure about that but i was quite in school and generally hated almost everyone in my class. He then went on qualifying himself to me.

Now my fake fiancee i had to tease her about the client bringing roses in and the clients head boss lady laughing at it all when i told her everything that happened since my Fake fiancee asked for a diamond ring(caught her up). my friend had asked my fake fiancee when she was going to ask me out on a date. her reply was don't date coworkers... So He asked her when she was going to ask me to be friends with benefits. She goes never with a big ol smile and her face turning red. I of coursed teased her on this and she Turn a dark shade of red and kept looking down embarrassed. Then the convo went to how she hates all the guys hitting on her and our little fake engagement didn't work. I playfully hit her on the shoulder and said there i hit on you today . this made her laugh I flirted some more and teased a bit more and then she goes and you don't even get me started on you. you can't even go a day with out talking to me I hardly speak to her and she is the one always talking to me. I didn't even look at her nor say anything yesterday to her and she screamed my name like 3 times saying hi and trying so hard to get my attention from across the mill. I really was busy though

last but not least I went and had a few beers with my friends yesterday. This 80 year old guy with mutton chop side burns ad a awesome top hat. Came up to our table asking about us and our jobs and bought us a round of beer. then he was telling us jokes and most of the time talking to me and looking at me. It was weird but awesome.

I think my presence has grown tremendously since starting stage 5

[woceyes]

well i went out again last night. I had my blazer jacket on with a nice button up shirt underneath. The bartender at our usual starting bar for the night, she gave me a compliment and wouldn't stop staring at me. I also had a few women in the bar try so hard to get my attention but i just wasn't interested. We had everyone looking our way because we were dressed really well. I was told left and right how they liked my style.

I did my own thing and paid attention to my own thing. I had one girl showing signs of attraction and she even tried using her friend to get my attention. Went to the strip club again, we were only there for an hour it was way to packed and way to boring. Had a new stripper try to flirt a bit with me and she said she loves my style and was twirling her hair. She tried to get me to buy a lap dance i laughed at her and told her i had no money. this pissed her off and she left.

I honestly didn't want to flirt with any of the women last night. I just wanted to chill and drink nothing else. I did tease my friends dancer they always meet up with. The best part she was giving it right back. which i enjoyed I just wasn't in the mood for anything.

I think the way i was dressed was way to much for most people to handle. It felt like i needed to act a certain way when drinking. It was a great test on my jacket and may have been overkill for my small little hick town. But i felt like million dollars

[woceyes]

This whole weekend from Thursday night to yesterday night has been fun. Lots of going out and drinking and chilling at the bars.

I have been giving off some major presence.

My indifference to other people is extremely high. I see them all looking at me and when im feeling good its a great feeling.

When im hanging out with my friends they are always looking to me to make decisions and i do but i also try to let them have a say while im off in my own world.

We received more free drinks from that older gentleman in my wall of text i wrote about Thursday.

I haven't been as playful with women this whole weekend as i usually am but again mostly in my own world they come knocking. I am not trying to get laid by any means as stated earlier in one of my post im all about me.

I was told that im way to confident for the average people in my town to handle. I am not sure about this i just do my own thing. Superstar status as my friend puts it.

Women i do talk to seem to open up to me with out me doing anything. Except for one girl that sat next to me yesterday as i was the only one sitting at the bar. I was trying to sober up. She did the small talk with me but i didn't really flirt or tease. She did go say that she remembered me from when we first met which kind of shocked me most people don't remember me. I remember them just not the other way around.

There is more stuff i could say but its hard for me to remember what exactly changed and grew in strength. I do know that i need to push my self harder out of the comfort zone. no risk no reward

[woceyes]

well things have escalated quickly between some of the women i have mentioned in this thread.

My friends sister seems to be hooked on me like a drug. He says she is like that to any guy who treats her nice and teases her. Im not so sure honestly

My "fiancee" well things have gotten thicker between us. I tease her a lot and had her come work on one of my machines running wood. She was complaining and wanting to go back i wouldn't let her. Then i said tel you what ill make a deal with you ill give you something better then a gold star(we joked about giving her a gold star since she was working "hard") she gos what? I said my number. LOL

as for stage 5 i missed a day last weekend when i was out partying it up. Ill switch to stage 6 on Monday instead of Sunday. So far my indifference in general rose tremendously or just came back stronger. I do my own thing. I have just about everyone coming up to me asking my opinion on things and asking what should i do... They are also saying boss more often because im in charge of a few machines.

My walk seems to be fluid everything moves as one. When my back isn't hurting that is...i think ill do that sub when im done with alpha.

i Tease anyone and everyone with ease. When i feel like it that is lol everyone seems to be open game to it and i just have to, i love making them smile and laugh.

[woceyes]

i seem to still have a hold up when it comes towards sex and sexual banter. I seem to sabotage any interaction with women or just cut it short. I think mostly because im afraid. Not because of size or performance. Just the interaction it self, seems to scare me. I can see how that can be considered a big step into man hood.

I am hoping that sex magnet will help with this as it did with my social anxiety or i can just grab a hold of my cajones and be a bold man alpha is making me be. that is all i have noticed today.

[ronatello]

i seem to still have a hold up when it comes towards sex and sexual banter. I seem to sabotage any interaction with women or just cut it short. I think mostly because im afraid. Not because of size or performance. Just the interaction it self, seems to scare me. I can see how that can be considered a big step into man hood.

I am hoping that sex magnet will help with this as it did with my social anxiety or i can just grab a hold of my cajones and be a bold man alpha is making me be. that is all i have noticed today.

It's a sticking point for me as well. Don't feel bad. You're not alone in this!

[woceyes]

i seem to still have a hold up when it comes towards sex and sexual banter. I seem to sabotage any interaction with women or just cut it short. I think mostly because im afraid. Not because of size or performance. Just the interaction it self, seems to scare me. I can see how that can be considered a big step into man hood.

I am hoping that sex magnet will help with this as it did with my social anxiety or i can just grab a hold of my cajones and be a bold man alpha is making me be. that is all i have noticed today.

It's a sticking point for me as well. Don't feel bad. You're not alone in this!

thank you Ron it can be frustrating lol

[Cortez]

I think it's more of a need to control the outcome instead of letting it be what it will. That causes irrational fears, because then you have a set way that you want the interaction to go and start thinking of all the ways it could go wrong. That's always what my problem was anyway...

[woceyes]

I think it's more of a need to control the outcome instead of letting it be what it will. That causes irrational fears, because then you have a set way that you want the interaction to go and start thinking of all the ways it could go wrong. That's always what my problem was anyway...

that makes sense. I think its the same for me as well.

I start stage 6 tonight

One thing i notice on stage 5 for sure is my swagger is completely natural and me. Kind of like when you see a horse trot and it just flows through the air and everything is moving as one.

I also seem to be more human now then how i used to be. Before Alpha i always felt like an outsider to the rest of the human population. like a robot with anger as the main emotion fueling its engines. With alpha i seem to be less cold to people. My friend says the bartender i talked about in my other journal, back when I was using the aurora of sexiness vid. Well i had been pretty cold to her most of my time on Alpha. (i teased her a lot but not a lot of conversation) but when i went out in my blazer dressed sharp and caught her off guard and she said "Wow you look good!" All i could say was thank you. no witty or smart a** thank you just a sincere thank you. I guess this interaction made me feel warmer on the inside or something as he said i was talking to her in a different manner after that and she was all over me. So i guess im becoming human

[Spiral]

Well, I think you've found the beauty in simplicity. Be simple and honest. I think too many people these days feel like they have to be complex and interesting! This is crock. All you gotta do is be...and it's not necessarily being human.. just think of yourself as just another limitless being. The word "Human" has too many limitations linked to it. You and me are limitless beings. Contemplate on that for awhile This can take years to integrate into your own being. Just be aware of this and sooner or later you will realize what it is to be truly alive! Life was never meant to be hard or complex

[woceyes]

You and me are limitless beings

i like that spiral it sounds much better then human.

I always felt like a chunk was missing in my being and couldn't quite comprehend what it was. I agree that you don't have to be complex and interesting. I am feeling grateful for my life and everything in it. Including me.

Also spiral are you on facebook?