Today is intense. Things are coming up. I must return the room which I've rented in couple of months. I remember the days I stayed in, proudly took pictures, posted on FB and felt like a hero. In the last run, I had a good salary job, it helped me to get out and live by my own. But it didn't last long. Just two months, I got into trouble with manager, and decided to quit. When they interviewed, they were really nice, I felt something strange, but ignored and had a 'beautiful image' about them. But then it broke down when I see their real face. It crept me out. It's really hard to work when you lose that respect. But that also push me to money problems. Come back to my parent house feel like somewhat loser. Maybe bad speaker caused it. Am I blaming?
It's strange that when I work for others, I have many things want to do in mind, just want to go out and do it. But when actually get out, the motivation go, and I start to procrastinate again.
I caught me put myself into a role. That tells things to "inspire" others. Especially on FB. As I am already there, already alpha. In fact, it's not. Behave like "Hey, look at me, give me some credits as an alpha". oh fuck. The real alpha, do they care about it, about whether or not someone else perceived him as alpha? No. They are just that. Be themselves and enjoy their life, the term of alpha, is the thing that others observe, and say about him, not what he call or label himself, because that serve nothing for him. Let go of the term alpha is needed.
It's strange that when I work for others, I have many things want to do in mind, just want to go out and do it. But when actually get out, the motivation go, and I start to procrastinate again.
I caught me put myself into a role. That tells things to "inspire" others. Especially on FB. As I am already there, already alpha. In fact, it's not. Behave like "Hey, look at me, give me some credits as an alpha". oh fuck. The real alpha, do they care about it, about whether or not someone else perceived him as alpha? No. They are just that. Be themselves and enjoy their life, the term of alpha, is the thing that others observe, and say about him, not what he call or label himself, because that serve nothing for him. Let go of the term alpha is needed.
