Alpha Male 6 - New Life Journey

[hiddenalias]

Day 10 - Stage 1/7

6 - 7 hours listened.
US Tones - Vol 31


Toned up the volume above half level since the vol max is 60 on my receiver. I am not going to give my whole life story of the day in my journals so I guess we'll just get to the point; positive outcomes (PO) and drawbacks of the day.

PO

1. Felt I could easily chat with strangers making even small talk; this happened on 2 occasions today.
   
2. Was able to have conversations with a few coworkers as if we were friends and not just a default hello how are you
   
3. Still going good with no butterflies in the stomach upon entering work.
   
4. I called my insurance co. about my claim status and my request to find out the status in the beginning became playful fun joking around with the girl on the other side of the line. Basically I just started flirting with her and made it fun...I was like, hey you look cute let me take you out sometime; of course she said she had a boyfriend...but I was like 'well tell him that I wanna borrow you for one night'....kinda ballsy if you ask me but I just had fun with it didnt expect her to say yes.
   

Drawbacks

• Hesitating in asking for help in fast paced busy environment at work
  
• Very submissive to grouchy people when they tell me how to do a task at work (understandably I am still learning so I have to listen to them) but rather than fearfully listening and submitting, I'd rather like to play it cool and not be afraid and joke with them and still learn by their teaching so I can call them out on their grouchy outward verbal communication.
  
• Sometimes when I want to joke with coworkers like managers especially, I just can't pull it off and just start debating if I should and if I shouldnt and if I did how stupid I'd look if it doesn't come out funny as I planned. Or even if a coworker tries to joke with me I just become quiet and nonverbal fearing to joke back with them.
  • Mom and dad still treating me disrespectfully
    • Was sort of nervous irrationally fearing of repercussions (not extremelly nervous just a slight int of it) repercussions of how managers act if I try to want to leave shift for day and how I could do it without forcing self to leave when I want to.
      
    
    That is just to summarise the + and - of the day. AM is something I know I will need 3x at the very least to change. Results are very very slow in external reality and won't change overnight but I am guessing it is chipping away old personas in a very very very very very SLOW process....