10-09-2017, 12:29 AM
I’m one third of the way through Stage 2 and old demons have resurfaced. It started with dreams about literally overcoming hurdles or obstacles, mostly naked and vulnerable. The past few days have been a struggle...really looking at myself negatively. I’ve come to realise that past trauma was just buried but not resolved resulting in me being very insecure (I’m great at being superficially secure and confident). I now know exactly why my best friend came into my life: To awaken me through the process of being brutally honest. As well as being someone I admire, he has also made me feel crazy insecure since Day 1. Whilst part of me feels the cure to that is to sever the relationship altogether, the smarter me understands that I need this safe zone in which to heal. And hopefully reach a point where I am truly ready for intimacy, commitment, and can feel secure once more.
