01-08-2014, 06:32 AM
Stage 4. Day 17.
I cried today. I saw something I didn't like, it made me angry, and I shut down for a while. The amazing thing was, I could carry on "life as normal" (after the brief expression of unhappiness), something I couldn't do in the past.
I pondered over the matter (superficial), and dug deeper to find out exactly what I was really mad about. I could feel my emotions and be logical with them at the same time, and crying through the entire time I was writing my letter. It felt different ...in the sense that before, it was either-or, either feeling it or being logicial about it. When I unloaded the words, I just felt a closure. And now, it coexists, after unloading what I wanted to say, I still felt the emotions, no closure yet. Although no closure, I feel very much in control of my emotions, in the sense that they don't consume me, even if I let them roam freely. When I receive a reply on the letter I wrote, I believe in time closure will arrive.
This is new, probably the 2nd new significant thing that happened in stage 4. I'm learning to deal with the new stuff that's going on.
I cried today. I saw something I didn't like, it made me angry, and I shut down for a while. The amazing thing was, I could carry on "life as normal" (after the brief expression of unhappiness), something I couldn't do in the past.
I pondered over the matter (superficial), and dug deeper to find out exactly what I was really mad about. I could feel my emotions and be logical with them at the same time, and crying through the entire time I was writing my letter. It felt different ...in the sense that before, it was either-or, either feeling it or being logicial about it. When I unloaded the words, I just felt a closure. And now, it coexists, after unloading what I wanted to say, I still felt the emotions, no closure yet. Although no closure, I feel very much in control of my emotions, in the sense that they don't consume me, even if I let them roam freely. When I receive a reply on the letter I wrote, I believe in time closure will arrive.
This is new, probably the 2nd new significant thing that happened in stage 4. I'm learning to deal with the new stuff that's going on.
