01-06-2014, 03:23 AM
(01-06-2014, 02:14 AM)Andrew Wrote:(01-03-2014, 03:42 PM)Quote Wrote: Ok good point to try to remember the things that bothered me.
I tried, and I just didn't feel the need to get angry or upset (I went HUH at this too). The person was rude and abrupt and self-centered, reacting to his emotions without regard for others.
If it were done to me right now, I would feel upset and angry again, but the cycle would probably restart, and I wouldn't feel the need to get upset over the rudeness.
However, I did feel unjust. What gave the person the right to be rude and abrupt? I think it's this feeling of unjust that's making me uncomfortable and motivating me to do something about it. But I'm not angry, I don't feel the need to raise my voice to match the other's emotions. I don't want it to slide and just "forget the matter". But I don't know how to deal other than letting it slide. Does that make sense?
Probably this is something new, that I have to learn to deal with. It's something very different, any one knows what's happening?
Any comments to help/guide me is appreciated.
Thanks for reading guys and ladies!
For me not wanting to "forget the matter" was my que to make sure I permanently tailored my future responses towards those types of transgressions in the future. Getting in the habit of this way of adapting was enough for me once I got used to it and felt no need to do anything further.
At the time I figured eventually, long as I change my responses people around me will adapt, whereas reacting to their response and doing something about it other than changing my responses usually slowed things down. Long term I was right and the times when I did do something about it, I was not pleased at the outcomes, and when I did practice changing my responses it got much faster.
Excellent! Excellent! Ok that's what I'm going to try to do. Thanks Andrew