Ale's UMS Journal

[Ale]

4th day of bloom. I feel weird...

I don't know how to describe it best, but I feel I have a lot of energy but at the same time I feel a heavy anxiety. I literally feel it in my gut, but I'm not sad or depressed or anything like that.

I will do one more day of bloom and then back to the loops

[Ale]

5th and last day of bloom for now.

I woke up a lot of times during the night, but I got up as if I slept 8 hours straight, full of energy.

Started exercising and I continue on nofap (also day 5) - last night I found myself thinking about having sex with someone. I usually imagine that but this time I immediately stopped myself and said "Ok Ale, if you want to think about this girl, you will but not in a sexual way". So I started thinking about walking on the beach with her.
I feel very aware of my thoughts and I like that, because I can change them if I don't like what I'm thinking.

Tonight I'll start 5 loops again while I sleep. Let's see what tomorrow brings.

[Ale]

Ok, weird stuff.

I woke up twice in the middle of the night with an urge to pee. I had to get up cos I couldn't take it anymore. Odd because I rarely do that and I didn't drink that many water or juice last night at dinner either.

Anyway, I still woke up feeling energetic, so that's a good thing. Went to work and I had a really busy day today, but all was good and I had a meeting with the boss of the entire area and I killed it, so that's a plus.

Also I had a strange episode with a girl. It's like she is purposely trying to avoid me as I can see she's nervous and uncomfortable around me. But thing is, I needed her help today because she's the expert in some tool we have to use and I had an issue with it, so I asked her to come by and she was all over the place. Moving from place to another and apolozing for it, talking non stop and trying to stay away from me. But eventually she had to get close to look at my computer and she got really close, as in touching my hand with her arm and letting her hair drop all over my arm. I kinda enjoyed it because she's cute, but honestly I had to struggle to not feel uncomfortable with her overall behaviour.

And now I got home and it's like suddenly I feel very tired, to the point that I'm getting a bit depressed. Like all the energy dropped on me in a second.

And last thing... I'm close to achieving one of my small goals, which is to get $1000 dollars to use as capital on my forex account. I was expecting to get there by next month but if all goes well maybe I can reach it before October ends!

[Ale]

I'm f**** mad at myself right now.

Yesterday I wrote I was close to reaching my 1st forex goal, and what do you know? Today I lost almost 80 dollars in one trade, only because I didn't trust myself.
You see, my analysis told me to buy and a group of experts said sell. What did I do? sell of course, damn it.

Lesson learned... I mean I know I won't be 100% right all the time because that just doesn't exist in the markets, but I must believe in myself before others.

[Ale]

Not much to update, been busy this weekend and we elected a new president here.

Just a couple of no so good things to add. Been having headaches more often that I used to. I used to have a lot of headaches but back when I started fasting they almost went away and I had one every now and then. Now I'm having them more often again, but not as often as before either.

Other thing is a no fap update. Still doing good with that but last night I woke up twice about to cum and I don't even remember having a sexual dream or anything. I restrained myself but a few drops came out anyway. Why am I writing this if I didn't relapse on no fap? well because I was also doing this for semen retention and the increased energy it gives you that you can then use on your goals and whatever you decide.

I've been working out and focusing more but seems this wasn't enough. Any tips on how to avoid this night problems? Tho I don't feel depleted or with lack of energy, I don't want this to happen again if possible.

[CatMan]

Not much to update, been busy this weekend and we elected a new president here.

Argentina or Uruguay?

I want to say Argentina, as it's only the first round in Uruguay.

Just curious.

[Ale]

Not much to update, been busy this weekend and we elected a new president here.

Argentina or Uruguay?

I want to say Argentina, as it's only the first round in Uruguay.

Just curious.

Yes sir! I'm from Argentina. New president was elected on Sunday, and will start on December.

[Ale]

Today's report:

- Trading is back to going well after the other day's fiasco
- Keep exercising every day, motivated, but today I have another headache. I will try changing my diet a bit now that we're entering our summer. See if that helps
- Also I started noticing more stares and "accidental" touching from women. I take this as something UMS does on your aura or energy since I read several of us are noticing the same.

[DavisMind91]

Today's report:

- Trading is back to going well after the other day's fiasco
- Keep exercising every day, motivated, but today I have another headache. I will try changing my diet a bit now that we're entering our summer. See if that helps
- Also I started noticing more stares and "accidental" touching from women. I take this as something UMS does on your aura or energy since I read several of us are noticing the same.

I really thought I was the only one experiencing more attention from women on UMS.

[Ale]

Today's report:

- Trading is back to going well after the other day's fiasco
- Keep exercising every day, motivated, but today I have another headache. I will try changing my diet a bit now that we're entering our summer. See if that helps
- Also I started noticing more stares and "accidental" touching from women. I take this as something UMS does on your aura or energy since I read several of us are noticing the same.

I really thought I was the only one experiencing more attention from women on UMS.

Actually no, I don't usually post a lot but I do read different UMS journals and I see a pattern here. I think someone called it the "celebrity effect".

I believe women can (for lack of a better word) "sense" energy a lot better than us, that's why I'm thinking UMS is changing our energy for the better, and indirectly attracting others to us, especially women.

[DavisMind91]

Today's report:

- Trading is back to going well after the other day's fiasco
- Keep exercising every day, motivated, but today I have another headache. I will try changing my diet a bit now that we're entering our summer. See if that helps
- Also I started noticing more stares and "accidental" touching from women. I take this as something UMS does on your aura or energy since I read several of us are noticing the same.

I really thought I was the only one experiencing more attention from women on UMS.

Actually no, I don't usually post a lot but I do read different UMS journals and I see a pattern here. I think someone called it the "celebrity effect".

I believe women can (for lack of a better word) "sense" energy a lot better than us, that's why I'm thinking UMS is changing our energy for the better, and indirectly attracting others to us, especially women.

I agree, although I’ve been feeling slightly more negative internally lately I’ve had a woman at my job tell me that my energy seems much more positive and open and inviting. Strange phenomenon, I thought your outer energy reflected your inner thoughts. And yea I believe the celebrity effect is very real with UMS.

[Ale]

Feel like crap today. Emotional rollercoaster where I'm smiling at one moment and I want to cry my guts out at the next.

And it's completely irrational because I'm pretty sure I feel like this because of this girl I feel drawn to. I was kinda normal but as soon as I saw her, all this spiral started. It doesn't make any sense, I barely know her. And I certainly never felt like this before.
Could it be that I'm struggling or trying to heal past traumas and she is just an image of what I need to overcome? If that even makes sense...

I'm going to meditate to calm down.

[Have at ye]

Feel like crap today. Emotional rollercoaster where I'm smiling at one moment and I want to cry my guts out at the next.

And it's completely irrational because I'm pretty sure I feel like this because of this girl I feel drawn to. I was kinda normal but as soon as I saw her, all this spiral started. It doesn't make any sense, I barely know her. And I certainly never felt like this before.
Could it be that I'm struggling  or trying to heal past traumas and she is just an image of what I need to overcome? If that even makes sense...

I'm going to meditate to calm down.

Quite possibly. Maybe you simply really, really like her and it's bringing out unconscious associations/trauma/stuff/whatever you call it that are now making themselves known to the consciousness. You could say it's a very good source of info on what may be holding you back, I guess.

It's been known to happen.

[Ale]

Feel like crap today. Emotional rollercoaster where I'm smiling at one moment and I want to cry my guts out at the next.

And it's completely irrational because I'm pretty sure I feel like this because of this girl I feel drawn to. I was kinda normal but as soon as I saw her, all this spiral started. It doesn't make any sense, I barely know her. And I certainly never felt like this before.
Could it be that I'm struggling  or trying to heal past traumas and she is just an image of what I need to overcome? If that even makes sense...

I'm going to meditate to calm down.

Quite possibly. Maybe you simply really, really like her and it's bringing out unconscious associations/trauma/stuff/whatever you call it that are now making themselves known to the consciousness. You could say it's a very good source of info on what may be holding you back, I guess.

It's been known to happen.

That's a good point, but how can I like someone like that without actually knowing the person? If that's what's happening, it's a first for me 
And more so, how is all of this related to my monetary goals?


One way or the other, it's a good thing these feelings are making themselves known as you said. First path to overcome things if to acknowledge them, right?

Meditation did wonders this time, I'm feeling more relaxed and I'm even noticing in while I write about this.